It’s not considered appropriate for men to comment on my body, so why do female colleagues think they can?

[Colleaguecomments]

It was my work Christmas party last night. I am wondering if IABU to take offence to this conversation.

Female colleague complimented my weight loss/work at the gym. Another female colleague then did similar.

Two of my male colleagues were present and one of them (drunk) then made a lewd comment, no doubt intended to be a compliment, which I didn’t appreciate.

But he wouldn’t have said anything if my female colleagues didn’t mention this in the first place. It’s not the first time I’ve overheard such conversations over the years either.

So I suppose my question is - why is it seemingly acceptable for women to comment on each others bodies, but not for men? Surely it’s inappropriate either way when it’s uninvited.

Do you think women on a packed train are making physical contact with you in purpose? Have you never made physical contact with someone accidentally? You’ve clearly never flown with easyJet!

Don't blame a woman for a man's inappropriate behaviour.

I do agree with you that her comments were incredibly personal and inappropriate too.

Honestly this wouldn’t even register with me , not the comments from the women. I’m constantly amazed on this site about the stuff that offends people and what gets people worked up .. how do people have time to deal with real problems and not spend their days in misery ruminanting over perceived slights. How do you focus on anything when rubbish like this consumes you so much that you would actually think about it enough to post about it 🤷‍♀️

I think women commenting on other women is fine as usually they're trying to be supportive & build each other up. Men however, are clumsy with compliments & it comes across as sexual or icky. If a woman says you have nice toned legs for instance it's usually said with admiration in the work gone into getting nice legs & how good you look after working so hard to get them toned. Most men think differently & just see you as a sexual being which just happens to have toned legs. I understand the male colleague wouldn't have said what he did if your female colleague hadn't mention anything, however a person should be able to compliment another without another person jumping in & having their say.

But he wouldn’t have said anything if my female colleagues didn’t mention this in the first place. It’s not the first time I’ve overheard such conversations over the years either.

Wrong. There is a huge difference about a generic comment about weight loss and lewd comments.