I can bury him under the patio for this, right?

[Changingplace]

‘D’H is currently munching a bag of crisps and he’s poured the bag out onto the cushion on the sofa and is eating them off it.

I can kill him can’t I? Vile human being.

I can also hear every crunch and lip smack and he also just started playing out some shite on his phone even though the tv is on.

Unforgivable. What a pig!

😱

Yes, absolutely

😫That's really grim.

Tell him you did a wet fart on that cushion yesterday.

OMG why are you typing and not digging?

Not sure which is worse - HATE IT when people play a video over the TV it’s so rude

The bigger crime here is noisy munching and playing loud shite on his phone.
The cushion can always be washed ( by him) but the rest is invasion of space !

You have to get the legs off first, a friend tells me.

Complete acceptable as long as he is buried alive as true punishment for his actions <<bangs gavel>> next case

This. Get him buried under that patio ASAP.

Thanks for the tip 😉

It’s worth sacrificing a cushion have chips and gravy for tea of the matching cushion

Smother him and his phone with the crispy cushion!

LTB. NOW!

My dd does this

Her excuse is that shes 6 😄

Yanbu!!

YABU to waste time posting on here when you should be digging already.

And put some endangered flowers on top, so no one can dig him up later.

Yes of course you can but Mods can you delete this thread please, the last thing op needs is a paper trail that will lead the cops to her door.

Technically, yes. Legally, no.

You need to move this thread to the Gardening section.

Less suspicious.

Smother him with the offending cushion first please. If you need a help I'm handy with a spade.

Happy to provide an alibi.

If God had meant us to eat off cushions he wouldn't have invented plates.

What a strange and revolting thing to do. Grease marks all over your cushion.

Easier if you have paving slabs than solid concrete...

I gather pigs are also a useful solution. Much less evidence to bury once they've had their fill!

I appreciate your support! Damn, should’ve name changed 😬