Not sure if I’m being rude but there so many people I just can’t be bothered to speak to anymore

[OrangeCatKitten]

Like when you’re on a walk or you go to your local shop etc and you always bump into people you know, like old school mums etc, and they always seem so fake and bitchy and I just don’t want to tell them anything about my life, even though it’s going well, I just don’t want to let them in on anything

so I just smile and say hello and keep on walking and then they look really shocked and annoyed like I’ve blanked them

I’ve also stopped using social media,mainly because so much of it felt fake and it was a waste of time, for 18 months now so I feel there’s alot of them people that weren’t really friends more friendly acquaintances that seem desperate to know what’s going on in my life and my kids life etc

im not sure if it perimenopause or what it I’m getting more grinch like as I get older
but I just can’t be arsed with alotnof people anymore

but when smile and say hello but keep on walking, someone then their jaw hits the floor in shock like I’m so rude

but perhaps we knew each other from primary school days and our eldest kids are now adults and I’m talking about ex colleagues and just random people like that

It is rude but you’ll get plenty of reassurance on here as MN is full of people who don’t speak to anyone outside of their immediate family and refuse to even make small talk with delivery drivers or strangers in shops.

I live (not for much longer, hurah!) in a flipping small town and an area where everyone talks unkindly about each other. I hate it, I have always hated gossip and never take part. If someone is causing an issue, I'll tell them straight because straight talking to me is miles better than gossip...

For years I have been friendly to those around me but always kept my own information fairly close to my chest. People have told me all sorts over the years, close secrets, worries whatever, always been like that in my life weirdly, perhaps too polite to walk off or a good listener? But living here I've been accused as being nosy, now known as the lady who is nosy (as if I give a toss about their lives, quite frankly) and I've had people spread actual lies about me. I guess because I don't say much about myself.

I now rarely talk to any, just a cheerful wave and walk by and like you OP, I've had a few stunned faces. It's self-protection and disinterest in them in equal measures. It was a refreshing difference when I went back to London for FIL care last summer, just normal neighbours who don't care back and don't go beyond hello. Lovely.

Well you've made up your mind really, haven't you? Why does the opinion of posters here matter?

I doubt they'd give a shit considering the thread is specifically about not wanting to speak to certain people because they don't want them in their life at all.

Sounds like it would be a bonus if those people stop trying to talk to them!

Quite. They’re happy to judge everyone else as fake and bitchy but would hate the same thing to happen to them or their kids 🫣

Why is it rude to not want to talk to people you don't know about anything at all?

Why isn't it rude to interrupt someone's day to share your unsolicited thoughts?

proves the point, it's always people complaining about drama who ARE the drama.

Sounds like a preteen petty fight, one day they talk to you, one day they ignore you.

You are blanking and refusing to engage with people you used to chat with, of course it's rude. It's likely they thought "oh not her again" when they saw you, but they are adults with manners, and stopped to exchange 3 words like any normal human being.

It's quite odd, no? I see it only on MN.
People have huge numbers of friends and acquaintances they consider bitchy, fake, nosy, and what not.
In real life, I think most people are struggling to get by and aren"t thinking as much about you as you like to think. Thet couldn't give a stuff about your holiday pics.

So you don’t stop to talk but you can just tell they’re fake and bitchy. Don’t worry-the mundanes will soon recognise that you exist on a higher plane than them!

I think it’s because internet forums naturally attract people who struggle with real-life social interaction - whereas people who are quite happy chatting in the street or to their delivery drivers aren’t going to be the ones posting on here.

I just find it fascinating that so many people think random strangers actually give a shit about them 🫣

😂😂

wow

Your sense of self-importance is astonishing

Do you always stop and get into conversation with every person you recognise at any given moment? Aren't you sometimes busy or not really in the mood and just want to say a quick " hi, you alright" and walk on?

Stopping using social media in my opinion is very different from almost ignoring people you have known for years.

Blanking people is rude assuming they have caused you no harm.

Also when I meet someone after a while, maybe schoolgate friends, I always ask after their children or family. It's not like I am nosy or desperate to know what they are doing. I am just being polite.

If I didn't ask, I would be accused of being a snob/ in a clique/ full of myself.

I’ve always been this way tbh so maybe I was born perimenopausal. I just can’t be bothered with small talk, find it meaningless and tiresome. There’s a few people I’d always make time for if I saw them but most would get the smile and hi with no extension.

Doesn't all communication start with small talk?
How do you make friends without making some kind of small talk first?

No-if I’m in a hurry I’ll say “Sorry-I’m in a rush!” as I zoom past. A bit different to striding past thinking “Not talking to you-you’re fake and bitchy”

I was an out there person years ago a real people pleaser.
But as I got older around the 30 mark the less I wanted to be around people, and all the crap they bring.
I still say hi hello small talk, and I keep it to small talk.

Not that I hate folk but I just can't be bothered, especially now as most get offended with anything one as to say.
Im an introvert and I like it, I dont need a crowd to feel needed or wanted.

What sort of things do you say that people get offended by?

I always say ‘can’t stop, I’m on a mission today’ with a big smile and then hurry on.
they don’t need to know that my mission is not to talk to people like them.

What I will say to you though OP, be careful not to isolate yourself too much from that day to day unimportant discourse even when you are very content and satisfied with how your own life is going. This life spins on a sixpence and you just never know when a friendly ‘isn’t this weather shit’ or ‘you alright? Haven’t seen you in a while’ might make a lot of difference.

I wondered that too.

Good point. One never knows what life has in store and when brief friendly interaction might be helpful.

I feel the same way.
I’ve spent most of my life being a people pleaser: listening and talking to people I really didn’t like
I feel much better for sometimes not being nice, I’ve realised that most people just end up talking about themselves; not interested in me at all

OP had better hope her “proper friends” never lose interest in her and start finding her fake and bitchy 🫣