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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School absence rules are super powering the spread of flu

259 replies

Pavementworrier · 09/12/2025 19:17

And people will die unnecessarily as a result and it's really annoying

Why the hell can't there be a rule that kids with flu or suspected flu (at least during peak flu season) don't have absences counted??

OP posts:
LittleAlexHornesPocket · 10/12/2025 10:59

Sartre · 10/12/2025 10:56

If this is true then aside from going into a full blown lockdown again, what do you suggest? If people are asymptomatic or just have a runny nose with zero other symptoms, they’re obviously going to be spreading it around unwittingly. It can’t really be avoided. Just have the vaccine if you’re eligible.

Nothing. I don't suggest anything. I was just pointing out that it's a total myth that flu always leaves you in bed unable to move because I'm sick of seeing it. It's just not true.

For what it's worth, I agree, people need to go about their daily lives if they are well enough to do so, and getting the vaccine will help.

DS has gone in today with a mild cough and runny nose. He would be horrified at being kept off when he's otherwise fine. I have no idea which of the 100s of viruses he is infected with so I'm not going to worry about it.

OhDonuts · 10/12/2025 11:00

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 10:51

Children deserve to be able to access education when they are mildly to moderately unwell.

They also deserve to be able to rest at home if they feel too unwell to be in school, but a lot of schools don’t agree. To me it’s counterproductive. Putting pressure on children to be in school when they are unwell (we are talking flu in this thread, not a sniffle), just means the whole schools attendance drops. And yes, they have the flu jabs, but my child’s school have only just rolled them out (too late for the flu outbreak).

Rocknrollstar · 10/12/2025 11:01

Underthemagnificentbeechtree · 09/12/2025 19:26

The reason that flu is so contagious is because some people aren’t that ill with it and walk around spreading it.

If you are walking around you don’t have flu. Too many people say they have flu when they have another virus.

Periperi2025 · 10/12/2025 11:02

Ballondor · 09/12/2025 19:22

If a kid has proper flu, they aren’t going to school, rule or no rule, because they won’t have the energy to get out the front door.

Edited

I ended up in hospital with flu last winter (confirmed influenza A), i had 24 hours where i was 'alright' on a couple of paracetamols and strepsils, so dismissed it as a cold and went and did the Aldi shop as normal, and went to an appointment as scheduled and infected her, and she was the same (mild symptoms 2 days after exposure and 24 hours of being able to function normally), who knows how many people we infected between us.

angelos02 · 10/12/2025 11:03

Rocknrollstar · 10/12/2025 11:01

If you are walking around you don’t have flu. Too many people say they have flu when they have another virus.

Absolutely this. I think people use the word 'flu' when it is just a bad cold. I've never had flu. Sounds horrific.

Coffeeishot · 10/12/2025 11:04

Underthemagnificentbeechtree · 09/12/2025 19:26

The reason that flu is so contagious is because some people aren’t that ill with it and walk around spreading it.

Yes this. The myth of you have to be flat out with flu is probably one of the reasons it spreads.

Anononony · 10/12/2025 11:04

Our school is actually really good, my 5 year old is currently off after being sent home on Friday (he was fine in the morning). He probably could go back in now, his temperature is well controlled with calpol and he's mostly back to normal, but school sent out an email saying to please keep kids at home if they have any temperature or are feeling unwell since it's so close to Christmas.

I've never seen attendance awards or rewards at our school either

LittleAlexHornesPocket · 10/12/2025 11:05

Rocknrollstar · 10/12/2025 11:01

If you are walking around you don’t have flu. Too many people say they have flu when they have another virus.

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Can The Flu Be Asymptomatic? | Passport Health

https://www.passporthealthusa.com/2022/04/can-the-flu-be-asymptomatic/

But can the flu be asymptomatic? Research points to a resounding yes. Quite a large portion of people won’t experience any symptoms – one out of every three people could be asymptomatic. The lack of symptoms in certain people could be due to various reasons, such as pre-existing partial immunity. Some individuals might even have an immune system response that fights off the virus before symptoms even have a chance to show up.

Can The Flu Be Asymptomatic? | Passport Health

Influenza spreads quickly, but is it possible to catch it and have no symptoms? Click or tap to learn more.

https://www.passporthealthusa.com/2022/04/can-the-flu-be-asymptomatic/

TigerRag · 10/12/2025 11:10

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 10:51

Children deserve to be able to access education when they are mildly to moderately unwell.

Even if their mild or moderate illness causes serious illness for others?

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 10/12/2025 11:13

SleepingStandingUp · 10/12/2025 10:25

what do you suppose all these parents are letting kids have unnecessary time off for op?

I've no idea. And honestly, I don't care. It was an observation, not a forensic examination.

For clarity, I never said all. If the cap doesn't fit, don't wear it.

Underthemagnificentbeechtree · 10/12/2025 11:21

Rocknrollstar · 10/12/2025 11:01

If you are walking around you don’t have flu. Too many people say they have flu when they have another virus.

No, I work in this sector and I’m telling you that it is quite possible to walk around with a strain of flu and be fine whilst someone else will catch the same strain and be hospitalised.

Maybe some people say they have flu and they actually have a cold. I personally have never been swabbed for anything except Covid so all of my other respiratory infections have been anonymous. For those of us who haven’t been hospitalised I imagine it’s the same across the board.

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 11:22

TigerRag · 10/12/2025 11:10

Even if their mild or moderate illness causes serious illness for others?

Yes. It's not the automatic association you've characterised it as. It is much more likely that a child going into school with a mild or moderate virus won't cause a serious illness for someone.

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 11:23

OhDonuts · 10/12/2025 11:00

They also deserve to be able to rest at home if they feel too unwell to be in school, but a lot of schools don’t agree. To me it’s counterproductive. Putting pressure on children to be in school when they are unwell (we are talking flu in this thread, not a sniffle), just means the whole schools attendance drops. And yes, they have the flu jabs, but my child’s school have only just rolled them out (too late for the flu outbreak).

I don't think we disagree particularly. I'm responding to the posters who seem to think it is morally inconceivable that children should be out receiving an education when they are only mildly unwell. Your point is about children who are too unwell to receive education.

noblegiraffe · 10/12/2025 11:24

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 10/12/2025 09:59

I agree in a way (ie in the infection control sense).
The arbitrary approach to school attendance is frustrating (my own daughter is rarely off, she's been off school ill just one day since summer. I think probably most pupil absence is unnecessary tbh). I've no idea how much this attendance obsession is applied to teachers? Because teacher attendance is my biggest frustration. My daughter's English teacher has been off sick for several weeks, and it's affected her confidence with her upcoming English prelim.

Teachers are less likely to call in sick and more likely to go to work ill than other professions.

To a teacher, being off sick is often more work than going in so we generally avoid it where possible.

TigerRag · 10/12/2025 11:24

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 11:22

Yes. It's not the automatic association you've characterised it as. It is much more likely that a child going into school with a mild or moderate virus won't cause a serious illness for someone.

Right. I'll let my cousin know that her child ending up in hospital again isn't anything serious

If someone gives me a cold that's some 2 weeks ill. I've just finished 5 days of steroids as well

Nevermind17 · 10/12/2025 11:25

Swiftie1878 · 10/12/2025 08:05

No kid is going to school with real flu. They wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.

A cold (even a heavy one) is nothing like flu.

Flu is just like Covid. Some people are seriously ill, some just feel a bit rough, and some are asymptomatic and walk round spreading it while completely unaware they even have flu.

It has been debunked that everyone who has flu can’t get out of bed.

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 11:28

TigerRag · 10/12/2025 11:24

Right. I'll let my cousin know that her child ending up in hospital again isn't anything serious

If someone gives me a cold that's some 2 weeks ill. I've just finished 5 days of steroids as well

Your situation sounds awful and I am sorry for you and your family, but as a useful argument in this discussion it's a logical fallacy (appeal to extremes in case you care).

I can do the same - what about the child who is ill through no fault of their own and misses enough reading classes that they are permanently stunted in their education? Their opportunities aren't important enough?

DonicaLewinsky · 10/12/2025 11:28

LittleAlexHornesPocket · 10/12/2025 10:54

Wrong!

You can be infected by flu and have no symptoms at all or be only mildly ill.

I can't believe this myth still exists after all that Covid debacle.

I found it really interesting during covid how many people clearly had no understanding of the prevalence of asymptomatic illnesses. It's understandable that people dont like the idea they could personally have infected any number of people with a virus that later killed them, but a lot seemed not to even know this was the case.

ShesTheAlbatross · 10/12/2025 11:28

angelos02 · 10/12/2025 11:03

Absolutely this. I think people use the word 'flu' when it is just a bad cold. I've never had flu. Sounds horrific.

You don’t know you’ve never had it. You could easily have been mildly ill, obviously would have no reason to be tested, and actually it’s flu.

All this “well the only time I had flu I was totally unable to move” is completely illogical because people have no idea what they had all the times they were less ill.

I’m not saying though that kids should be kept off with mild symptoms just in case it happens to be flu though.

EyeLevelStick · 10/12/2025 11:29

MiddleAgedDread · 10/12/2025 08:05

Exactly this!

Wrong.

Some people are floored by it, others aren’t. Individuals’ experiences will vary with the current strain.

TigerRag · 10/12/2025 11:32

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 11:28

Your situation sounds awful and I am sorry for you and your family, but as a useful argument in this discussion it's a logical fallacy (appeal to extremes in case you care).

I can do the same - what about the child who is ill through no fault of their own and misses enough reading classes that they are permanently stunted in their education? Their opportunities aren't important enough?

The child that probably wouldn't be so unwell if they had time to actually recover?

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 10/12/2025 11:33

noblegiraffe · 10/12/2025 11:24

Teachers are less likely to call in sick and more likely to go to work ill than other professions.

To a teacher, being off sick is often more work than going in so we generally avoid it where possible.

The stats don't bear that out though, absence rate is high amongst teachers.

My frustration really is down to how the effect of teacher absence is mitigated. It's not fair on pupils to have a series of different interim teachers, particularly during their exam years.

sillysausage12341 · 10/12/2025 11:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

gingercat02 · 10/12/2025 11:36

Does anyone give a shit about absence % at school? Assuming they are sick and not skiving

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/12/2025 11:37

TigerRag · 10/12/2025 11:32

The child that probably wouldn't be so unwell if they had time to actually recover?

They're not 'so unwell' at all babe. Try reading more carefully. They're prevented by you from accessing their education for fear of a hugely unlikely disaster scenario stemming from their mild cold.