Throwing Christmas cards on the floor is rude

[TheTamerShrew]

AIBU?

My child wrote a card to each child in the class. I am proud of her, as she has sen, so this takes more effort than most. She made the decision herself and wrote them all herself.

Two children in the class threw them on the floor. They apparently don't celebrate Christmas, but these were not religious cards, just fun cards with seasonal decorations on them.

AIBU to think that basic manners should apply and children should accept cards gracefully?

I would say teachers have enough to be dealing with, like parents who turn party invitations into politics

Wtf are some of these posts excusing this shitty rude behaviour from children nearly secondary school age?

Doesn't matter if they are a different religion or don't celebrate Christmas or just don't want it or whatever. If someone's given you a card you say thank you and if you don't want it it can go straight in the bin at home. No need to even open it!

OP some kids are vile and have literally no manners. Your DD sounds lovely. Tell her not to bother with these two brats again.

I once saw a birthday child open a present and it was a nice hardback book from someone who was there, and he threw it across the room because he didn't like books. I have never forgotten that because it was SO rude! The parents didn't say a word either. I left my present for him in my bag and took it home again.

Am sorry your child was upset. But your child's SEN are not every child's SEN so you can't expect all SEN children to understand manners the way yours does.

Having said that, in this particular case it sounds like a case of children not learning respect of other cultures or how to navigate differences. But that judgement is only valid if they actually threw them down as opposed to just not caring enough and leaving them to fall or left the cards where they sat. In any case, move on. There is not much to address here. Next time, leave those kids out of Christmas and Easter cards/celebrations.

I’m sorry but this just shows how narrow your understanding of SEN is. Your child may be capable of “beautiful manners”. This is likely very little to do with you. And everything to do with your child and the nature of her needs. My child has severe autism. Much of his behaviour would be perceived by you as rude and bad manners. There is very little I can do about this. His understanding of social rules is very limited. And he becomes overwhelmed very easily due to severe sensory issues. Please have some compassion for those whose experience is different from your own.

If your child has severe autism then they won't be in a mainstream school which is completely different.

I agree. But I was responding to the OP’s generalised comment that she doesn’t believe SEN is an excuse not to have “beautiful manners”

Lol. You seriously have no understanding of how the education system works.

My child does have severe SEN and has the same finding as a child in a special school. There are insufficient special school places.

I know several children with severe autism, global developmental delay, non verbal, who are in mainstream. It is the default.

Lots of excuses made here for downright bad manners.
My nearest neighbours are Hindu, they put up a lovely Christmas tree indoors and exchange Christmas cards with us, and have done for 20 plus years.
I have Muslim neighbours in the road, they accept the Christmas card I give them with grace, and I have had one back a few times.

Just because someone isn't a Christian doesn't mean they have to be rude.
I have been abroad and been invited to and enjoyed the celebrations of that country.

You know nonverbal DC in mainstream?

Its rude behaviour, just shrug and ignore it. No need to "address" anything with the school

I work in a mainstream school and can confirm we have non verbal children attending with various other needs. Their needs can apparently be met by mainstream school, but that is a whole other thread in itself!

Agree, lots of my family/friends are of different faiths and most still exchange Christmas cards. One, who doesn't like to put up cards, still accepts them graciously, saying it is a kind gesture. Lots of children at my school had SEN but really enjoyed exchanging cards (obviously every person is an individual and of course some had more profound needs than others, but the boy who seemed to get most pleasure out of it was non-verbal, but loved giving and receiving cards, I don't know what our teacher would have done if anyone had done that with his cards).

At the school where I worked for many years, there was a Jehovah’s Witness on the staff whose two kids attended the school. She told her children to politely accept any Christmas cards they were given and to take them home, where they were binned. Their mum would have been horrified if they’d thrown them on the floor in front of a classmate who’d given them the card.

It is very rude, and I don't think it is anything to do with celebrating or not celebrating Christmas. I think they are being rude to your DD personally because they are not very nice children and they either don't like her, or find her reaction to being treated badly amusing.

You said she has SEN. Unless it's a specialist school where everybody has SEN, that's very probably the reason why people are being unpleasant to her and it must be stopped. Her teachers have a responsibility to make sure that nobody, least of all somebody who might be less able to understand what is happening, is treated in this cruel, rejecting way.

When I was a teaching assistant, a very wise teacher dealt with a situation like this by arranging for the cruelly treated child (let's call her Bonnie) to go off with another member of staff on a special task, then talking to the rest of the children about how it had come to her attention that some people were being very unkind to Bonnie. She did not name names, but described the behaviour and made it very clear that it must not happen again, and that if she heard of any more incidents there would be serious consequences. It was a similar sort of situation - not overt bullying but microaggressions and acts of rejection that they may have thought they could get away with because each individual action on its own was relatively trivial, like running away when Bonnie wanted to play with them. In that case it was a child who didn't have SEN but was emotionally all over the place and probably seemed like hard work to the other kids. But everybody deserves to be treated nicely. (I should also add that the teacher was perfectly fair in also giving Bonnie appropriate consequences if she did something unkind.) If it was my child, I would want something like this to happen, and I think it would be worth bringing it up with the teacher and asking if a similar conversation could take place.

I actually know of two. I knew of another one, who was eventuslly moved at 8. If they have nowhere to put them, they langush in mainstream. It's a national disgrace.
OP going forward she gives cards to who she knows wouldn't behave like this.

What statements? What do you hope to achieve by involving the school?

For the school to encourage kind and polite behaviour. I have learnt that it wasn't just directed against my daughter, but against any child who gave out Christmas cards. It included a slur about people not being of the refusers religion.

So 20 odd kids didn’t throw them on the floor. Focus on that, teach your kid to focus on that and have a happy life 😆

Wow, the polite kids do not excuse the rude children who use slurs against people who are not of their religion. If you cannot understand how divisive and problematic that is, then there is a problem.

Not nice behaviour and probably learnt from parents

The dog-whistling in this thread is unreal.

Yes, these threads are certainly getting more subtle but some of us still see whats going on

Time to stop the annual/bore ritual of writing a card because its xmas.

You what?

Just because what has happened doesn't fit your narrative doesn't mean you can 'troll hunt', which is against the rules. I am reporting your post.

Did you know that these children do not celebrate Christmas?
yes, throwing them on the floor is rude but personally I wouldn’t have given them cards.