Throwing Christmas cards on the floor is rude

[TheTamerShrew]

AIBU?

My child wrote a card to each child in the class. I am proud of her, as she has sen, so this takes more effort than most. She made the decision herself and wrote them all herself.

Two children in the class threw them on the floor. They apparently don't celebrate Christmas, but these were not religious cards, just fun cards with seasonal decorations on them.

AIBU to think that basic manners should apply and children should accept cards gracefully?

How old are the children?

10/11 years old

Perhaps they have SEN too? A boy ripped up one of DD’s cards last year which she found upsetting but he has autism and ADHD and can act like that when he gets overwhelmed, so it wasn’t personal and I explained to her.

Otherwise, some kids just aren’t that nice. Most classes have a couple of unpleasant kids unfortunately.

Yes rude especially at that age. My child’s Muslim friend gave DD a Christmas card. I thought that was sweet, it’s not a religious occasion for many.

Of course it's rude and it also shows what kind of person they are if they are just going to throw them on the ground and not even in a bin.

That's not nice even if they don't celebrate they could just say that.
You'll have to explain that unfortunately some people don't have manners. Don't even have to explain that they might not celebrate just that bad manners are bad manners no excuses.

I have voted YABU as I assume you weren't there to witness this plus also have no idea what needs the other children have.
We use a postbox in our school in each class so that staff can manage handing out cards and identify possible tricky situations.

My DC have had many friends who do not celebrate Christmas over the years. Each has managed it differently but none of them have ever been ungracious or rude about receiving a card. I would try and explain as best you can that it is nothing your child has done and that sometimes people are just not kind.

As a parent to a child with SEN, I would not blame this on SEN. I expect beautiful manners from my child with additional needs, same as I would expect from others. I still think this needs addressing.

Unfortunately ‘beautiful manners’ are just not possible for all children, no matter how much their parents might feel it’s important.

Addressing how? In future just don’t send those children a card. Every kid has to learn how to deal with the odd mean kid, it’s part of growing up. Now she knows to avoid those kids and stick to the nicer children. My DD1 is 6 and is navigating this sort of stuff and it’s hard as a parent to watch but it’s part of her learning about relationships, resilience, all that stuff.

Not sure how you want it addressing?
The child may know they cannot accept the card and may have reasons for reacting the way they did. It is ok for them not to want the card.
Does your school use a postbox as per my post? That would be my suggestion for addressing it therefore the teachers could remove cards that they know children will not be able to accept and pass on to parents to decide whether they can have them.
Why not stick to writing cards for friends only?

That’s not possible for all children though.

Some kids are not only rude they are nasty.

Doesn't that rather depend on the nature of their SEN?

Far too many children with SEN are forced into mainstream school (because of lack of specialist options) when that's not in their best interests and they simply can't cope with that environment.

You sound like my mother. I'm in my 40s now and she's still waiting for me to grow out of autism. Never going to happen

Yes it was rude. Just explain to your daughter that some children are rude and nit very nice. Next year explain to her that it's best just to send cards to friends as they will appreciate them.

You do realise that different special needs come with different symptoms right?

Your one child with SEN does not make you an authority on what behaviours can and can not be explained by SEN.

"As a parent to a child with SEN", you should know that not all children with SEN are capable of "beautiful manners"

It has nothing to do with not celebrating Christmas and everything to do with those two children being rude.

Thousands if not millions of Christmas cards are given every year to people who don't celebrate it, yet they manage to graciously accept.

Well, feel sorry for those kids as their parents have not taught them how to deal with being given something they don't want. Make a note of the names so you don't accidentally give them one again next year (you might not forget but after a year, things slip my memory).

My child has "SEN" - actually autism - and he is docile and peaceable. Does that mean every child with SEN is peaceable and docile? Nope.

Yes it’s very rude of them. Do you know the context behind it? Why did they do it? Did they do it neatly/purposefully in front of your child to intentionally upset her? Did they say anything? Or did they just drop them on the floor and then pick them up, as they were packing their bags ready for home time?
When you say it needs addressing, by who? The teacher? Are they aware?

I don't think this would be a hill worth dying on. I think expecting 10 year olds to appreciate the lovely sentiment behind Xmas cards might be a bit of a stretch though.

If they belong to a religion that doesn’t permit celebration of Christmas, they may have felt they had to forcibly reject the cards.

You might think of Christmas as quite secular but not everyone shares your opinion or values.

Oh don't be so bloody ridiculous 🙄

You're really trying to justify someone littering the floor with a Christmas card because they might've had to 'forcibly reject it'?

Like they'd touch the thing in the first place if that was the case.

Madness.