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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone seen woman arrested for saying f****t in a private text message?

410 replies

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 11:12

This is completely bizarre. The news is thin on the ground so to see it I would have to link the mail or other obscure sites; but they are talking about this on Sky News abroad so assume it’s legit.

Apparently woman was arrested by 10 officers and dragged naked from a bath tub because she called a person who hospitalised her from assault a faggot in a message ranting to a supposed friend who reported her for using that word.

What is going on in this country?!

Yes sure that’s unpleasant. But is that really illegal? And if she has been hospitalised by this person then do I really care if someone uses bad words - even if they are hateful.

YABU - that’s a perfectly appropriate use of the law
YANBU - WTF is going on in this country!

OP posts:
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6
randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:31

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:25

Now we are getting somewhere.

You believe that "even without an aggravating factor" she still committed a crime. Which means that, to refer to someone as f-t in a private conversation is a criminal offence on its own.

So yes, going back to my original post which you queried, I was serious and I was gobsmacked. And yes, I would really like to know what insults can be used safely in private correspondence without being branded a criminal (no less).

For God's sake, "d--e" is used to refer to lesbians even by Netflix and nobody banned "The Beast in Me".

You completely, and deliberately, misconstrued what was said.

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:31

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:28

Nope. The offence is the malicious communication. 'f**t' is the aggravating factor.

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I agree. Some believe though that using the word on its own is a crime in itself

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:32

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:31

I agree. Some believe though that using the word on its own is a crime in itself

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Where does anyone say that?

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:32

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:31

You completely, and deliberately, misconstrued what was said.

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Yes, I am being deliberate because of how ridiculous this is. Yet, I am not miscontruing anything.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:35

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:24

Doubling down on your bullshit? Tedious

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You don’t have to like my viewpoint. It’s okay to be different.

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:36

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:32

Where does anyone say that?

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The use of the word was the clickbait story that started the whole discussion, way before more information was added.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:36

Naunet · 09/12/2025 14:24

Right and referring to the 15 year old child as a young woman, when the press usually refer to grown women as girls, is what?

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The patriarchy.

Original poster
Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 14:37

randomchap · 09/12/2025 13:04

Maybe she's already known to the police as a violent offender? Or her partner has form for violence. Or maybe the police were just being cunts in this case

Without knowing the facts speculation is useless

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She’s a single mum to 4 kids; care worker which requires enhanced dbs so I don’t know how you can work in that job yet be so dangerous your house requires flagging.

Does seem she was in with the wrong group if the result of a falling out is having your head fractured though. Can you be flagged by association?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 14:39

muggart · 09/12/2025 12:38

Equally concerning is the number of people here who don’t seem to believe this is possible or that there must be more to the story. This is entirely plausible and consistent with the way the UK is these days. We’ve slept walked into a situation where we have no freedoms because it seemed too absurd to be real. Just like we slept walked into a situation where male sex offenders were put in female prisons and then had to fight tooth and nail to claw back what should have been common sense rights. THIS IS BRITAIN NOW.

Yeah I do agree that is why I am taking this as what is written. In the past we have dismissed to many things as no that’s insane - can’t be true. When it’s clear whoever is in power to make these decisions are in fact insane.

OP posts:
Acafan · 09/12/2025 14:40

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:36

The use of the word was the clickbait story that started the whole discussion, way before more information was added.

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Some of us bothered to look up with whole story though before just jumping to "you can't say anything these days!" When what you can't actually do is send a "barrage" of messages that distress someone.

LemonTT · 09/12/2025 14:41

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 11:27

I she is calling someone a faggot to their face in an abusive manner then perhaps that’s abusive.

But to say to someone else who isn’t the individual - I didn’t think that could be a hate crime. No matter how offensive. And that’s without the assault allegation.

But she pleaded guilty.

Ghrun · 09/12/2025 14:42

ScholesPanda · 09/12/2025 14:07

Racism/ Homophobia aren't illegal. Your free to have your racist/homophobic thoughts and share them with your nearest and dearest who won't feel harassed by them.

Harassment and malicious communication (sending a 'former friend' a 'barrage' of unsolicited text messages - quotes from the Daily Mail article) are illegal whether it involves racism or homophobia or doesn't. They can be aggravating factors though.

Out of interest what racism do you feel should be legal and what racism do you think crosses a line?

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I think a crime is being committed when there is harassment or incitement. Incitement of violence or some other criminal activity. I don't think it should be a crime simply to be racist, or homophobic or sexist.

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:43

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 14:37

She’s a single mum to 4 kids; care worker which requires enhanced dbs so I don’t know how you can work in that job yet be so dangerous your house requires flagging.

Does seem she was in with the wrong group if the result of a falling out is having your head fractured though. Can you be flagged by association?

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If someone else in your house is a violent offender then yes.

Social services often have flags on households if there's a danger to people going to them.

Original poster
Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 14:44

LemonTT · 09/12/2025 14:41

But she pleaded guilty.

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She said she pleaded guilty because her lawyer said they would charge as a hate crime and she could get 5-10 years.

It is concerning in light of removal of juries. I think we need to fight that and it seems it’s only ever women who plead guilty to these speech crimes so we need a public service announcement somewhere for women to not plead guilty!

OP posts:
BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:45

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:36

The use of the word was the clickbait story that started the whole discussion, way before more information was added.

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WTF are you talking about? The story is pretty clear. She was charged and pleaded guilty to malicious communication. The use of the word f-t was an aggravating factor. The use of the word on it's own wasn't an offence. There is no 'hate speech' law as such in England and Wales. There are various laws where sentencing can reflect aggravating factors.

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:46

Acafan · 09/12/2025 14:40

Some of us bothered to look up with whole story though before just jumping to "you can't say anything these days!" When what you can't actually do is send a "barrage" of messages that distress someone.

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Of course you can't. But that's not the issue here anymore. The question is - and has been - if it is ok to use words in private conversations which can be deemed offensive and be reported for it as a crime.

It can be a lot of words, depending on how "triggering" the other person may find them, so it seems like no speech is safe. And that's what is worrying.

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:46

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 14:44

She said she pleaded guilty because her lawyer said they would charge as a hate crime and she could get 5-10 years.

It is concerning in light of removal of juries. I think we need to fight that and it seems it’s only ever women who plead guilty to these speech crimes so we need a public service announcement somewhere for women to not plead guilty!

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I was very much more against the removal of juries before I started reading Mumsnet AIBU threads

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:47

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:46

I was very much more against the removal of juries before I started reading Mumsnet AIBU threads

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🤣

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:51

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:45

WTF are you talking about? The story is pretty clear. She was charged and pleaded guilty to malicious communication. The use of the word f-t was an aggravating factor. The use of the word on it's own wasn't an offence. There is no 'hate speech' law as such in England and Wales. There are various laws where sentencing can reflect aggravating factors.

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Do not use the F word or I will be offended and upset. You are on a public forum.

You are being indignant yet still not answering: is it ok then to use the f-t word on its own in a conversation, without the backstory and other aggravating communication? Yes or no?

Owly11 · 09/12/2025 14:51

Jesus wake up. People are being arrested, charged and convicted for using 'offensive' language all the time and for standing up for women's rights or expressing biological facts. There are hundreds of cases being taken up by Fair Cop and Free Speech Union where people are being arrested for 'non crime hate crimes'. Although hopefully Graham Linehan has been part of bringing that sorry chapter to a close. It really is happening that the police will turn up and arrest you for 'offensive' language (judged by one person being offended) but not for assault or burglary. And do you know why? Because it is so easy to prove that someone wrote it and the offended person only has to stand up and say 'i was offended'. It would take some actual police work to arrest, charge and convict a domestic abuser or rapist and it isn't glamorous and has a low chance of success. But hey let's criminalise freedom of speech instead that causes SO much harm - not.

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:54

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:51

Do not use the F word or I will be offended and upset. You are on a public forum.

You are being indignant yet still not answering: is it ok then to use the f-t word on its own in a conversation, without the backstory and other aggravating communication? Yes or no?

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Again, as you seem to be hard of thinking.

It depends on the context

As part of malicious communication then it could be seen as an aggravating factor by the courts

It's not hard to understand

ColdOut2025 · 09/12/2025 14:54

Muffsies · 09/12/2025 11:23

If someone assaulted me I would not be looking to inflame the situation with them. If they are derranged or unhinged how did she think that was going to turn out? Getting in trouble with the police is probably the least bad outcome. She sounds like an idiot that needs to be told to stand the hell down.

Utter nonsense, detached from human experience,oh, and blaming the female victim of male violence: good job,you!!

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:55

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:51

Do not use the F word or I will be offended and upset. You are on a public forum.

You are being indignant yet still not answering: is it ok then to use the f-t word on its own in a conversation, without the backstory and other aggravating communication? Yes or no?

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Which bit of "The use of the word f-t was an aggravating factor. The use of the word on it's own wasn't an offence." did you particularly struggle with?

Throneofgame · 09/12/2025 14:59

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 14:44

She said she pleaded guilty because her lawyer said they would charge as a hate crime and she could get 5-10 years.

It is concerning in light of removal of juries. I think we need to fight that and it seems it’s only ever women who plead guilty to these speech crimes so we need a public service announcement somewhere for women to not plead guilty!

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Ludicrous.

Give me one example of someone using a single homophobic, racist or similar word and getting 5 years in prison

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 15:00

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:54

Again, as you seem to be hard of thinking.

It depends on the context

As part of malicious communication then it could be seen as an aggravating factor by the courts

It's not hard to understand

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And you are either evading the answer or genuinely not understanding the implications of the position of "it depends on a context" when it comes to the freedom of expression (or lack thereof) and deciding whether a word is a crime.

I will leave you with it.