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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone seen woman arrested for saying f****t in a private text message?

410 replies

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 11:12

This is completely bizarre. The news is thin on the ground so to see it I would have to link the mail or other obscure sites; but they are talking about this on Sky News abroad so assume it’s legit.

Apparently woman was arrested by 10 officers and dragged naked from a bath tub because she called a person who hospitalised her from assault a faggot in a message ranting to a supposed friend who reported her for using that word.

What is going on in this country?!

Yes sure that’s unpleasant. But is that really illegal? And if she has been hospitalised by this person then do I really care if someone uses bad words - even if they are hateful.

YABU - that’s a perfectly appropriate use of the law
YANBU - WTF is going on in this country!

OP posts:
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MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:00

randomchap · 09/12/2025 13:49

No your not. This is not a serious post.

But just in case you're serious. She wasn't arrested for the insult, that homophobic word was mentioned as an aggravating factor in the malicious communication. It wasn't the reason she was arrested, charged, or plead guilty.

Distorting facts, speculation, and outright bullshit do not help

In other words, this all about the backstory? And if she had just used the word f-t in a text, without the aggravating factors, then it would have been ok in the eyes of the law?

So nope, I am as serious as they come. Trying to get to the bottom of "hate speech".

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:01

This is another of those "person pleads guilty to crime and is sentenced" stories isn't it?

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:02

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:00

In other words, this all about the backstory? And if she had just used the word f-t in a text, without the aggravating factors, then it would have been ok in the eyes of the law?

So nope, I am as serious as they come. Trying to get to the bottom of "hate speech".

It's all about what actually happened. Not what is being reported, or speculated on

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:06

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:02

It's all about what actually happened. Not what is being reported, or speculated on

She called him a f-t in a text message to another person. It happened and is not being disputed. Now, is it hate speech? Is it illegal? Is it punishable by law?

Because it seems like, if she was just ranting, then it is ok. But if "there was more to the story" then it isn't.

So whether it is ok to call someone a f-t depends totally on a context?

ScholesPanda · 09/12/2025 14:07

Ghrun · 09/12/2025 13:59

You don't have to be ok with it, but it doesn't follow that it should be a crime. Do you think all racism should be a criminal offence?

Racism/ Homophobia aren't illegal. Your free to have your racist/homophobic thoughts and share them with your nearest and dearest who won't feel harassed by them.

Harassment and malicious communication (sending a 'former friend' a 'barrage' of unsolicited text messages - quotes from the Daily Mail article) are illegal whether it involves racism or homophobia or doesn't. They can be aggravating factors though.

Out of interest what racism do you feel should be legal and what racism do you think crosses a line?

Bromptotoo · 09/12/2025 14:07

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:01

This is another of those "person pleads guilty to crime and is sentenced" stories isn't it?

Either pleaded guilty or was found guilty.

MaidOfSteel · 09/12/2025 14:08

The other person in this text exchange needs to grow a backbone.

If he/she, and people of similar weakness, go to the police for every unpleasant word they hear, then no wonder it’s taking days for police to respond to other, actually important calls.

Or are the police and CPS waiting for such cases, low hanging fruit, rubbing their hands together with glee, a statistical success in all the doom & gloom?

GaIadriel · 09/12/2025 14:08

GarlicRound · 09/12/2025 11:49

Faggot's old-fashioned slang, though, isn't it, as well as being a spiced meatball. It seems like an odd term for a 30-something to use in anger.

I can't really see the cops sending a whole crew to arrest a woman in her home for a bunch of text messages, one of which contained the word 'faggot'. Either it didn't happen or there was a lot more to the messages, like a credible threat of harm to her attacker.

Tbf, there's a video of a 14-15yo autistic girl being dragged out of her house by about 5-6 officers for making a comment online. It was something along the lines of "she's a lesbian like Auntie Jane" but not meant maliciously.

She was cowering in the cupboard under the stairs, clearly overwhelmed, and they drag her out kicking and screaming from what I remember. May have got a few minor details wrong but it was essentially that. An autistic teenager making a non malicious comment and being arrested.

So I can believe this would happen.

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:08

Bromptotoo · 09/12/2025 14:07

Either pleaded guilty or was found guilty.

Pleaded guilty. It's in the reports

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:09

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:06

She called him a f-t in a text message to another person. It happened and is not being disputed. Now, is it hate speech? Is it illegal? Is it punishable by law?

Because it seems like, if she was just ranting, then it is ok. But if "there was more to the story" then it isn't.

So whether it is ok to call someone a f-t depends totally on a context?

Yes, well done. Context is so important

But this case isn't about that word, it is to do with the malicious communication that hasn't been made public. Communication which contains it, but it was only mentioned as an aggravating factor. Therefore even without it, she still committed a crime, the homophobia made it worse

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:17

Hurty words are literal violence so I assume she’s going to go to jail for a good few years.

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:18

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:17

Hurty words are literal violence so I assume she’s going to go to jail for a good few years.

Yay, more hyperbole that's just what this thread needs

GaIadriel · 09/12/2025 14:19

The 'friend' she messaged is described as 'the victim' so the offence is likely the messages causing her distress. I'd imagine it was reported maliciously as most people wouldn't be offended enough by this to involve the police, unless she sent like 100 messages and wouldn't stop.

Acafan · 09/12/2025 14:21

GaIadriel · 09/12/2025 14:08

Tbf, there's a video of a 14-15yo autistic girl being dragged out of her house by about 5-6 officers for making a comment online. It was something along the lines of "she's a lesbian like Auntie Jane" but not meant maliciously.

She was cowering in the cupboard under the stairs, clearly overwhelmed, and they drag her out kicking and screaming from what I remember. May have got a few minor details wrong but it was essentially that. An autistic teenager making a non malicious comment and being arrested.

So I can believe this would happen.

She didn't make the comment online; she made the comment in person to a police officer, as she was being brought home after being involved in a disturbance in the city centre. From the IOPC investigation report:

"Our investigation looked at one of the officer’s actions and interactions with the girl on the night to determine whether they were appropriate and proportionate in line with approved police policies and training.

We established that officers were called to Leeds city centre to a disturbance involving the girl and officers made the decision to take her back home, rather than make an arrest.

Once back at the home address, the evidence suggested a potentially homophobic comment was made by the girl, which the officer believed was directed towards her. The evidence identified that the comment made was not as was reported on the short clip which appeared on social media. As a result, the officer took the decision to arrest the girl in relation to this offence.

We concluded that WYP officers at the address on the whole did attempt to de-escalate the situation and the level of force used appeared to have been appropriate in the circumstances.

However, we did find that some of the language used by one of the officers towards the girl was inappropriate and was not conducive to de-escalating the situation.

Our investigation found that the officer did not have a case to answer for misconduct or gross misconduct. However, we decided that it would be appropriate for the officer to undertake reflective practice – to reflect and learn from the incident to prevent any issues identified from re-occurring, as their actions fell short of the expectations of the public and the police service as set out in the Code of Ethics."

So the police didn't cover themselves in glory here. But they are also not banging down a door to arrest a child for something they said online.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:22

its certainly not hyperbole. Hurty words are the same as some very serious crimes. It should be taken extremely seriously and the book should be thrown at the alleged perpetrator.

TopPocketFind · 09/12/2025 14:24

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:17

Hurty words are literal violence so I assume she’s going to go to jail for a good few years.

Maybe follow the provided links and read her sentence

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:24

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 09/12/2025 14:22

its certainly not hyperbole. Hurty words are the same as some very serious crimes. It should be taken extremely seriously and the book should be thrown at the alleged perpetrator.

Doubling down on your bullshit? Tedious

Naunet · 09/12/2025 14:24

WonderfulSmith · 09/12/2025 13:33

No. That was when they were charged. As they are under 18 they can’t be named or other information given out about them. It’s not gaslighting it would be the same whoever they were.

Right and referring to the 15 year old child as a young woman, when the press usually refer to grown women as girls, is what?

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:25

GaIadriel · 09/12/2025 14:19

The 'friend' she messaged is described as 'the victim' so the offence is likely the messages causing her distress. I'd imagine it was reported maliciously as most people wouldn't be offended enough by this to involve the police, unless she sent like 100 messages and wouldn't stop.

unless she sent like 100 messages and wouldn't stop.

You have no idea how may messages she sent or whether she'd stop. It's described as a 'barrage' in some reports, which suggests more than a few.

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:25

Now we are getting somewhere.

You believe that "even without an aggravating factor" she still committed a crime. Which means that, to refer to someone as f-t in a private conversation is a criminal offence on its own.

So yes, going back to my original post which you queried, I was serious and I was gobsmacked. And yes, I would really like to know what insults can be used safely in private correspondence without being branded a criminal (no less).

For God's sake, "d--e" is used to refer to lesbians even by Netflix and nobody banned "The Beast in Me".

BackToLurk · 09/12/2025 14:28

MrsBelindaMay · 09/12/2025 14:25

Now we are getting somewhere.

You believe that "even without an aggravating factor" she still committed a crime. Which means that, to refer to someone as f-t in a private conversation is a criminal offence on its own.

So yes, going back to my original post which you queried, I was serious and I was gobsmacked. And yes, I would really like to know what insults can be used safely in private correspondence without being branded a criminal (no less).

For God's sake, "d--e" is used to refer to lesbians even by Netflix and nobody banned "The Beast in Me".

Nope. The offence is the malicious communication. 'f**t' is the aggravating factor.

PhantomCappuccino · 09/12/2025 14:28

Whywhywhyyyy · 09/12/2025 12:05

Why can’t they give their side? I do think court records for criminal should be completely open and transparent.

Because they would be breaking every data protection law going. NHS/medical professionals can't disclose anything about those treated, regardless of whether the person themselves publicised their own information. For this reason, any such reporting of incidents/cases are going to be very one-sided

DisabledDemon · 09/12/2025 14:29

123456789xyz · 09/12/2025 11:58

My mother used to call us that word all the time when we were being naughty. It was one of her favourite words. Historically and regionally it used to have other uses. As a slur I think it's an American import
I think it's disgusting to use it as a homophobic slur. But I suspect this story has been exaggerated. If true, her behaviour was unacceptable but the response was heavy-handed. But I take it with a large dose of salt.

So did my grandmother who was from the North-East.

nomas · 09/12/2025 14:30

Where are these coppers when Tommy Robinson is being racist?

Naunet · 09/12/2025 14:31

randomchap · 09/12/2025 14:09

Yes, well done. Context is so important

But this case isn't about that word, it is to do with the malicious communication that hasn't been made public. Communication which contains it, but it was only mentioned as an aggravating factor. Therefore even without it, she still committed a crime, the homophobia made it worse

Oh dear, is @randomchap keen to police women who slag off men who beat the shit out of them? Gotta keep those bitches in line one way or the other huh?