to tell this nosey mother to shove off?

[theBOD]

long sorry but need an opinion.
i was meant to be playing football with mates and my lectures finished about an hour early. now seeing as i lived about an hours drive from where we were playing it made no sense for me to go home so i decided i'd just drive to the park where we play and do some work(play solitare) on my laptop for the hour and listen to the radio.
so i parked on the road beside the pitches, which also happens to be opposite a playground. after about half an hour some woman came over to me and knocked on my window asking me "what do you think you're doing" and telling me to move as it was "not right" and i was making the parents "nervous".
apparently i should not be parked and on a laptop near children as a man on his own as this obviously in her mind made me some sort of sex predator.
so i told her that what i was doing was none of her business and told her to get away from my car. she then threatened to call the police (she didn't) and get her husband out (which she did).
anyway was i unreasonable to use some very choice words to her and her husband when they came over to me the second time claiming they didn't want trouble and just thought it was best if i left?

Aitch there were a few of us who thought that he could have handled it differently and more politely.

I personally do think that she was not justified in confronting him in the first place, and it made him angry, so he could have dealt with it in an assertive way and said
'It's made me very uncomfortable that you're demanding that I move on and accusing me of having sinister motivations for being here, when I'm simply waiting for football to start and doing some work on my lap top' - all said firmly but not aggressively - she'd get her explanation then, but also understand that it's not her right to move men on when they're minding their own business and that it's quite an upsetting thing to be accused of being some kind of pervert.

oh right, but you didn't want to teach her a lesson huh? lol.

6% of paedophiles(convicted) in the UK are women, the rate of imprisonment for blacks in the USA is 8 fold but there are still less blacks in prison. This is a problem with the justice system and needs addressing and probably translates to a society that Blacks commit more crime, however they are more likely to go to prison, that's all.
I can't see that an unfounded bias is right, whereas I completely understand why men recieve more caution than women when it comes to children.

Actually theBOD has responded to those that agreed with him! He responded to me!

i think maybe let sleeping dogs lie.

anyway i'm sick of being agreed with. i think i'll start a thread about single mother drivers scrounging benefits and doing their make up in the rear view mirror nearly causing me to crash my Jaguar.just to feel the inevitable backlash.

"% of paedophiles(convicted) in the UK are women, the rate of imprisonment for blacks in the USA is 8 fold but there are still less blacks in prison. This is a problem with the justice system and needs addressing and probably translates to a society that Blacks commit more crime, however they are more likely to go to prison, that's all."

how come you don't question the quality of the legal system which leads to more men being branded as paedophiles, but one where blacks have a higher percentage of criminals is flawed? surely i could just reverse your argument.

Not really teaching her a lesson is it? It's responding in a way that would give her the explanation she's asking for, but also saying that there are better ways of doing it. She sounded aggressive with her opening line of 'what do you think you're doing?' That's not polite either. I wouldn't have sworn or shouted or been nasty, but I would have let her know that is not ok.

totally Boco, i don't think she was right to ask him in the first place, although i do tend to rather admire people who do ask tough questions rather than sit there fretting.

but clearly she shouldn't have made an assumption, she could have (if nothing else) walked up and down a few times to see what he was doiing and she'd have seen him playing computer games etc. nevertheless, if he didn't want a fight he could have answered her question a zillion different ways and there would have been no fight.

TheBod you quote like a steiner threader, you should hang out there for a while maybe?

i meant about the racial bias comment, boco. clearly he feels there's a point to prove for mankind, and perhaps there is, i just don't think he handled it well at all.

theBOD, A justice system that imprisons more of one race at a greater rate than another (allowing for varying crimes) is obviously flawed, one that arrests less and convicts less of one sex than another because they don't commit the crimes to fall into a category of crime is a just system. Men are more likely to be convicted of paedophilia because they're more likely to do it.

i'm sorry but I would feel very uncomfortable if i saw you.especially opposite a playground. i'm sure you weren't doing anything wrong but in this day and age,parents-not all granted-can't help being paranoid.i'm sorry if this upsets people.

Parents should try very hard not to be paranoid - and certainly should not act on their paranoia. Otherwise we are teaching our children such a dangerous lesson in lack of trust. What sort of a society do we want them to grow up in - and make for the future?

Utterly off-topic:

theBOD, are you the actual real genuine Bod? Yellow frock and everything? I am in awe

I have a friend that has a nearly ten year old daughter who isn't allwoed to go anywhere and do anything due to the perceived risk of perverts. Her school is a five minute walk away, with no roads to cross. She is escorted morning and night by her mother. She can't have her bedroom window open in the summer, because somebody might scale the fence so they can break in and molest her daughter. There's no playing in the garden unless she is outside too, and when the daughter is due to go to senior school she's planning on putting her younger children into breakfast club and after school clubs so she can drop off and pick up in the car to prevent an possible dangerous activity. I daren't tell you her thoughts on the fact that the sex-ed lessons at school are mixed.

The woman in the park sounds like my friend, the sort of control freak who is more worrying for the health of a child than most things in life today. She should step back and realise that the majority of abuse happens within the home, and that the kids in the park were probably more at risk from their parents than the poor sod with the yellow frock.

the woman in the park sounds like my friend, who is perfectly rational and a bit nosey and would probably, if there were a bunch of parents in a park going 'look at that guy over in that car, he's just sitting there fiddling with something in his lap, wtf is he doing?' would say 'i'll go and find out, shall i?'

good that we're all able to construct these little fantasy scenarios, though, innit? passes the time...

My posting wasn't a fantasy scenario Aitch, the friend is real and what I have written is what she has told me. Utterly unfounded fears for the most part, but she is more controlling than a big controlling thing labelled 'controller'. Parents like that do more harm than good. They see danger and panic everywhere, they filter out rationality and worse they teach their children to do the same. It's very sad that people feel the need to be like this.

Back to the rest of the thread: I just think that unless the guy was obviously indulging in something nefarious it was utterly unreasonable of the person in the park to go forth and stick her nose where it wasn't needed. If I were a man reading in a car and your friend came over and tried to interrogate me I'd just ignore her. Pointedly. Very possibly with loud music on my mp3 player. The bloke was minding his own business in a public place. The woman in the original post should have done likewise.

The point isn't how he or she handled it, but that a man on his own, going about his legitimate business in a public place, where he was legally allowed to be, was asked what he was doing there and was threatened with the police and this woman's husband. Why should he have to justify himself? He wasn't doing anything wrong, or illegal. I would have felt indignant too and can see why he didn't answer her, as it was none of her business.

"The woman in the park sounds like my friend, the sort of control freak who is more worrying for the health of a child than most things in life today. She should step back and realise that the majority of abuse happens within the home, and that the kids in the park were probably more at risk from their parents than the poor sod with the yellow frock."

you've got no idea whether the woman was behaving like your friend or like mine, muggle. you don't have a clue about her other than she asked some guy what he was doiing, he got arsey with her (imo) and that she got her dh to come and support her when things were getting out of hand.

tbh bod could've been wanking off in his car, or playing games on a laptop, who knows? she should have looked first before asking questions, but she didn't. he should have been more reasonable, but he wasn't.

the point, scaryteacher, is that Bod had a split-second decision to make when faced with the unfair implication that he was up to no good and decided to make a fight of it. good for him.

According to theBOD's transcription, her opening gambit was 'What do you think you're doing?'. Which would cause even my hackles to rise, and I'm a big girl's blouse.

I'm not sure you're taking this seriously dada.

there was an invisible there..

So she should have looked first? Lol
That is really sad, Aitch.
Do you think if he said I'm just wating to play football, sorry, she would be think oh, that's alright then.
No, she was the one with the agenda here, not him
But I guess you're going to tell me he thinks she had to be taught a lesson (yawn)

Do you often go round checking whether men in parked cars are wanking or not?
Lol

Think I may have got the wrong end of the stick here, but scanning through some posts am i right i thinking the OP was a man in a yellow dress in a car?