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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hearts on WhatsApp

111 replies

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:03

A dad of ds friends. Put a heart on our whatsapp convo.
The kids have known each other for a few years but became close this year. My ds went over for a sleepover at theirs a month ago. His wife is a nurse and works nights. He was at home with the boys. Very good communication, reassured me and ds all is well. Update at 11pm when ds fell asleep.

Now today, the boys went to an activity. Got dropped off by friends grandparent. I texted the dad saying i can pick them up. He replied "Oh that's amazing ❤️ Let me know if you need any help with that 😊"
Coming from the mum i would think its normal. From the dad?! Do dads communicate with hearts on WhatsApp normally? Am i being unreasonable in thinking he's being too familiar?

OP posts:
outofofficeagain · 08/12/2025 20:05

I use hearts all the time. I’m always putting kisses on things too. I never mean anything by it. You’re overthinking

TheVengaBusIsComingMyBusPassIsForthcoming · 08/12/2025 20:05

Its a totally normal way to communicate.

I sometimes stick a wee heart in a message if I think it's coming across to harsh or formal or whatever.

Do you think he fancies you?

Clefable · 08/12/2025 20:06

Eh? He’s ‘hearting’ the fact you can pick them up, not you personally.

aneelli · 08/12/2025 20:06

Has he always used emojis in ur text exchanges? I don’t think it means anything dodgy if he’s not been otherwise weird towards you. Just act normal.

MandemChickenShop · 08/12/2025 20:06

He deffo wants to bone you

MandemChickenShop · 08/12/2025 20:07

He deffo wants to bone you

ElizabethVonArnim · 08/12/2025 20:07

I use hearts if a thumbs up might seem a bit rude or dismissive. I’ve never used it for anything more than general warmth. Don’t overthink it.

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 20:07

Totally normal. Men put hearts on teams messages at work all the time - 'l'll send the document at 3pm' gets a heart these days!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 08/12/2025 20:07

He is planning on leaving his wife for you.

Ivygold · 08/12/2025 20:10

Hearts are the new ‘thumbs up’ now, that’s all.

(Some people view thumbs up as passive aggressive for some reason)

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:12

Ok, sounds like im overthinking! I only ever use love hearts with female friends and all family. Never with friends dads because i dont want to give the wrong impression. Im single and guess hypervigilant because i was cheated on and dont want to play that game myself with anyone.

OP posts:
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 08/12/2025 20:13

I have a couple of male colleagues (I'd call friends) who do this. Its not my style but maybe it's the younger generation ? Jesus I sound ancient

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:16

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 08/12/2025 20:13

I have a couple of male colleagues (I'd call friends) who do this. Its not my style but maybe it's the younger generation ? Jesus I sound ancient

Haha this dad is my generation 😅 I must be ancient and super prude at heart

OP posts:
Terrytheweasel · 08/12/2025 20:18

Some husbands i know put kisses, I don’t think anything of it - its just the way now

arcticpandas · 08/12/2025 20:22

I never put hearts when communicating with men- unless it's on a picture of my son and his friend.

It's hard to know- maybe this dad has just gotten used to the mum heart everything vibe and trying to be nice. Or he wants to bone you. I would just assume (hope!) explanation number 1 and go with that. Unless he's sleazy in person- then all playdates would be arranged with the mum.

Jollyjoy · 08/12/2025 20:24

To me it’s often quite a literal way of saying ‘I love that’. I think that’s what he’s doing.

IamnotSethRogan · 08/12/2025 20:24

I know lots of men who use hearts. Some just do. You're the only one who can judge if he's being inappropriate or not, but on the basis of just a heart I wouldn't be too concerned.

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:25

arcticpandas · 08/12/2025 20:22

I never put hearts when communicating with men- unless it's on a picture of my son and his friend.

It's hard to know- maybe this dad has just gotten used to the mum heart everything vibe and trying to be nice. Or he wants to bone you. I would just assume (hope!) explanation number 1 and go with that. Unless he's sleazy in person- then all playdates would be arranged with the mum.

I'm the same! And I when i replied to this dad, it was only a short text, no emojis of any kind 😆

OP posts:
IamnotSethRogan · 08/12/2025 20:25

Ivygold · 08/12/2025 20:10

Hearts are the new ‘thumbs up’ now, that’s all.

(Some people view thumbs up as passive aggressive for some reason)

Yeah exactly this

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 20:26

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:16

Haha this dad is my generation 😅 I must be ancient and super prude at heart

Show quote history

When you asked if he was being 'over familiar' I did picture you being about 80 - but double checked you were the mum not gran!

Doggielovelouie · 08/12/2025 20:27

He could have also accidentally tapped the heart instead of thumbs up

Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 20:28

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:16

Haha this dad is my generation 😅 I must be ancient and super prude at heart

Show quote history

No you are not overthinking.

Is he fantasizing over you? Well maybe not. But it does feel a little over familiar. You are right. Dismissal of ones reality is huge on MN btw.

I suggest just go a bit further the other way in your comms. So go formal, no kisses, no emojis, blunt facts - if you ever need to communicate again.

Don't tell me women on here would have no problem if they saw this from their husband to another mum.

Let's say OP is an attractive hot thing - then she could be the one facing passive aggressive wrath here. Be cautious just to be safe OP.

I personally don't like thumbs up because I see you can text someone about something really serious and heartfelt or slightly sensitive - and they then thumbs up. That makes me think ' dick'.

Trust yourself on this. Go formal all the way.

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:28

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 20:26

When you asked if he was being 'over familiar' I did picture you being about 80 - but double checked you were the mum not gran!

Show quote history

Seriously?! 😆 Thats it. Im a prude and an ancient dinosaur. (Im in my 40s)

OP posts:
TamarindCottage · 08/12/2025 20:30

I now add a flower at the end of texts or WhatsApp messages just in case someone’s husband, wife or partner gets the wrong idea. HTH 💐

EmeraldShamrock000 · 08/12/2025 20:31

Oh ffs. Cope on.

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