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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hearts on WhatsApp

111 replies

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:03

A dad of ds friends. Put a heart on our whatsapp convo.
The kids have known each other for a few years but became close this year. My ds went over for a sleepover at theirs a month ago. His wife is a nurse and works nights. He was at home with the boys. Very good communication, reassured me and ds all is well. Update at 11pm when ds fell asleep.

Now today, the boys went to an activity. Got dropped off by friends grandparent. I texted the dad saying i can pick them up. He replied "Oh that's amazing ❤️ Let me know if you need any help with that 😊"
Coming from the mum i would think its normal. From the dad?! Do dads communicate with hearts on WhatsApp normally? Am i being unreasonable in thinking he's being too familiar?

OP posts:
mzpq · 08/12/2025 20:33

Do dads communicate with hearts on WhatsApp normally?

Yes, I think there was a study done some time ago that proves all dads are exactly the same 👀😁

Calliopespa · 08/12/2025 20:37

I don't tend to do this except to female friends, definitely not DH's style (it's a mushy day if even I get one!) but plenty of men do it (and none of them have so much as kiss tried to kiss me yet!) so I think it's just a convention.

But I agree: Strange New World!

Timebudda · 08/12/2025 20:41

Its heart emoji hes not asking for a date.
Men can send emojis aswell as women can.

W0tnow · 08/12/2025 20:44

No dad I know would do it. I’m in my 50s though. Sometimes things can be misconstrued. There’s no mistaking the aggression in some of these replies though. 😀

Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 20:45

EmeraldShamrock000 · 08/12/2025 20:31

Oh ffs. Cope on.

He could have form for being a wandering eye sleazeball. OP responds in the same way., friendly love heart for example, completely innocently, he could get the wrong idea.

Other mum looks at his phone and sees heart, knowing he's a wandering eye guy who she already feels uncomfortable about - she could have a huge problem thereafter with OP.

Let's not pretend this crap doesn't happen.

If some guy sends me a heart emoji - married - I would be cautious until I had absolute proof not to be. I would be as formal and emoji less as possible. And I am a regular heart emoji user.

She isn't overreacting - she's being sensible.

ConstitutionHill · 08/12/2025 20:55

Hey OP. I get why it seems odd. My male boss deployed a few on my Teams messages. But he's 29 and I'm 56. I've realised now that his generation use it to mean they just really like something. He does it to everyone.

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:57

Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 20:45

He could have form for being a wandering eye sleazeball. OP responds in the same way., friendly love heart for example, completely innocently, he could get the wrong idea.

Other mum looks at his phone and sees heart, knowing he's a wandering eye guy who she already feels uncomfortable about - she could have a huge problem thereafter with OP.

Let's not pretend this crap doesn't happen.

If some guy sends me a heart emoji - married - I would be cautious until I had absolute proof not to be. I would be as formal and emoji less as possible. And I am a regular heart emoji user.

She isn't overreacting - she's being sensible.

Edited
Show quote history

Well i guess thats it. I wouldn't want the wife to see me sending love hearts to her husband.

I don't know this couple too well. Like i said the mum works nights at the hospital so i mainly communicate kids stuff with the dad because he works office hours.

OP posts:
Livpool · 08/12/2025 20:57

YABU - I use them all the time for men and women, including men I know from work. Doesn’t mean I love them!

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:58

ConstitutionHill · 08/12/2025 20:55

Hey OP. I get why it seems odd. My male boss deployed a few on my Teams messages. But he's 29 and I'm 56. I've realised now that his generation use it to mean they just really like something. He does it to everyone.

This dad is similar age to me. In his 40s.

OP posts:
Ratbag7 · 08/12/2025 21:00

I've had male colleagues at work sending a heart to say thank you when giving them advice, o don’t think it means I love you, but that they are grateful for the advice. It doesn’t bother me!

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 21:01

I think it was the under 30s that started it but now everyone is sending hearts because it seems rude no to!

WarmLilacHiker · 08/12/2025 21:03

My husband always puts kisses at the end of a message to me but not other people... At least once recently he has put them on a message to a school mum when typing on autopilot and I've had to listen to him freak out that they might get the wrong idea. So just know he might be overthinking it too 😂

Shedeboodinia · 08/12/2025 21:04

I work in a predominantly male sector and everyone uses hearts on teams.
It is meant as 'love that, that's great' kind of thing.
It does not mean cutesy love, more like, amazing, love it.
I would think he is using it like that if I saw it.

Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 21:04

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:57

Well i guess thats it. I wouldn't want the wife to see me sending love hearts to her husband.

I don't know this couple too well. Like i said the mum works nights at the hospital so i mainly communicate kids stuff with the dad because he works office hours.

Show quote history

YANBU!

Formal formal. Cut comms dead with him.

Shoxfordian · 08/12/2025 21:08

I think it means he loves you

Terrytheweasel · 08/12/2025 21:09

Shedeboodinia · 08/12/2025 21:04

I work in a predominantly male sector and everyone uses hearts on teams.
It is meant as 'love that, that's great' kind of thing.
It does not mean cutesy love, more like, amazing, love it.
I would think he is using it like that if I saw it.

Absolutely. A colleague sent me one today,

Maddy70 · 08/12/2025 21:10

Totally normal. I use hearts all the time you are being very weird

ZenNudist · 08/12/2025 21:10

MandemChickenShop · 08/12/2025 20:07

He deffo wants to bone you

This needs a laughing emoji

oneinataxioneinacar · 08/12/2025 21:12

I once sent a string of kisses at the end of a message to my son's friends dad explaining I had crashed my car so would be a bit late to pick my son up.
He sent me a message freaking out ...
I explained that it was a mistake because I was alternating with messaging my husband (about the aforementioned crash!) and my brain wasn't working (due to the crash!)

I never got how that wasn't bloody obvious tbh. My message was extremely mundane and the handful of messages I had ever sent previously were the same.

I can understand some messages where the tone is ambiguous but you are adding 2+ 2 together and making 150 @Nayoryay33

Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 08/12/2025 21:12

My team leader sends hearts all the time on Teams! Probably to everyone on the team.

I have found there is generally an overuse of hearts on WhatsApp and Teams recently.

ZenNudist · 08/12/2025 21:12

Heats are showing appreciation. Thumbs up used as an acknowledgement but can be a bit passive aggressive or dismissive. Everyone hearts everything Everyone says to be nice. Unless they find a better emoji like applause or medal or fingers crossed, whatever appropriate.

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 21:13

I have communicated with dads for years. Ds does football and we're always messaging about shared lifts, games, birthday party invites etc. Never seen a love heart before 😄 I am willing to accept iabu though.

OP posts:
oneinataxioneinacar · 08/12/2025 21:13

Shedeboodinia · 08/12/2025 21:04

I work in a predominantly male sector and everyone uses hearts on teams.
It is meant as 'love that, that's great' kind of thing.
It does not mean cutesy love, more like, amazing, love it.
I would think he is using it like that if I saw it.

Oh god! Don't tell me there are people who misinterpret hearts on teams as a declaration of love Blush. I'm deeply in love with about 50% of my colleagues if that's the case! I always assumed it was just a more enthusiastic version of the thumbs up

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 21:16

oneinataxioneinacar · 08/12/2025 21:13

Oh god! Don't tell me there are people who misinterpret hearts on teams as a declaration of love Blush. I'm deeply in love with about 50% of my colleagues if that's the case! I always assumed it was just a more enthusiastic version of the thumbs up

Show quote history

We use love hearts on teams all the time. But this was a one-to-one whatsapp convo with a dad.

OP posts:
neednotknow · 08/12/2025 21:16

you're not colleagues though and this isn't teams

you should trust your gut and your pattern recognition

his wife is gone all night

you're single he knows this

this is escalation

he didnt 'like' the message with a heart

he added it to the main message 'blah blah blah ❤️'

he could have gone 🙏🏽 or nothing at all

im pretty sure he knows the difference

he is testing the boundary