Why do these threads turn into a competition between those who take time out for their kids and those who choose not to.
It shouldn't be a competition. Women should be able to make choices free of judgement. My comment was not judging SAHPs, it was saying it's okay for a woman to want to be financially independent.
If you decide to have children and then don’t make the requisite sacrifices to raise them that makes you a poor parent. Putting babies in nursery, keeping young children in nursery for 8 hours a day and then sticking them in wrap around care till they’re 16 how on earth is any of that healthy? How as a parent are you ok with spending such little time with your offspring when you know their childhood is brief.
Why gives you the right to call working mother's poor parents? Are you not embarrassed to write these comments?
Being a good parent isn't about being physically present all of the time. It's about making decisions that impact a child both in the short and long term. Choosing high quality childcare, appropriate schools, providing financially are all part of being a parent.
This isn’t a go at parents who genuinely are on the bread line and have no choice but to work, nurseries can be a life line. The ‘god forbid women want financial independence’ that’s fine just don’t do it at the expense and well being of your child.
Do you think it's only acceptable for parents to use childcare if they are on the breadline? How short sighted of you.
I'm very familiar with the research into childcare and it is clear, for under 2's the impact is neutral. it's neither beneficial or detrimental. The quality of childcare is the most important thing to consider. Using a nursery is not automatically going to have a negative impact on the well being of your child. However, if may benefit the mother by allowing her to work and maintain her career development or just keep the family out of poverty.
For over 2's there are benefits to attending a high quality childcare setting.
There is no evidence that wrap around care causing any widespread well being issues.
Then when you’re called out for it you come on here making attempts to make women feel bad who have taken time out and do have supportive husbands (shock, horror they do exist) feel like they’ve traded in their financial independence.
I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. Unlike you who is actually calling people poor parents.
I know there are supportive husbands out there. I have one. We share the financial responsibility of having a family and we share the actual childcare aspect. A supportive partner can look different for different families. And that's okay. For some that means providing for them financially, for others it means sharing household chores, childcare, mental load. You do what works for your family.
Children require sacrifice and selflessness both parents should be making adequate changes to ensure their children are being looked after by their parents predominantly.
That doesn't have to mean one parent giving up work. Lots of people work flexibly and make their situation work that way.