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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child hates reception - is this normal?

26 replies

Childhatesschool23 · 08/12/2025 12:36

DC started school in September and every evening/morning he is very emotional and says he hates school/hates his teacher/hates the other children and doesn’t want to go. The morning are filled with a lot of crying and refusing to get ready. For context child has ASD, but went to nursery 3/4 days a week from the age of 1 and seemed to love it and have no issues going. School have said he seems fine once there, but have also said he often has emotional outbursts and refuses to participate in activities.

Should I change his school?

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 08/12/2025 17:28

Childhatesschool23 · 08/12/2025 13:54

The EHCP application is in progress. I haven’t received the report back yet but verbally the Edu Psych said one to one would be beneficial.

He doesn’t like anything touching his head so ear defenders aren’t an option. The class set up means he can go off a do another activity if he wants.

I think part of the issue is the conflicting views of school/us tbh. His teacher has repeatedly mentioned “oppositional defiance” when he won’t engage/answer questions - but I genuinely don’t think he understands and oppositional defiance is not something that’s ever been mentioned before/don’t think it fits at all. The Edu Psych mentioned PDA and using low demand techniques. With previous issues for example child eloping when gates opened they responded by holding him next to the gate whilst everyone else went out first and a couple of times it ended in physical restraint that just seemed unnecessary to me.

His teacher has repeatedly mentioned “oppositional defiance” when he won’t engage/answer questions - but I genuinely don’t think he understands and oppositional defiance is not something that’s ever been mentioned before/don’t think it fits at all.
I'd be worried about a teacher making unqualified judgements like this.

And that he’s not the worst of the children they have so to not worry. This doesn't seem very professional!

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