Does anyone have weekends like this anymore?

[Ranoutofideasfortheelves]

Friday night, got in, made chilli and nachos, fire on, throws on, pjs on, dh, me, dd (7) and ddog on the sofa watching films
Saturday, Dd did colouring in the morning, had pancakes, then her friend came to play, then she went to theirs for a few hours. I watched xmas films and sewed a top, Dh messed about on his computer.
I made lasagna and Dd came home, we had a dance to Christmas music then watched Home alone and bed.
Today we took ddog out to the woods, dd did clay, we made chocolate Christmas tree biscuits and played with her elves, played in the garden on the trampoline with the elves, had a roast, bath, fire, stories & bed.

Just been looking at Instagram etc and so many posts of visits to cities, girls nights out, santa spectacular shows, Lapland, London visits etc and just feeling a bit 😬
We will do a few Christmas outings for sure, but don’t seem half as busy (or wealthy)as lots of people. I remember lots of weekends as a kid being slow, but I was perfectly happy. We definitely do a lot more with Dd than I did as a kid, but do most of you do these kind of outings most weekends? Is Dd missing out?

Exactly this. People don’t post their mundane moments on IG/facebook. They don’t post watching a film or making pancakes or colouring in. On the whole only post the social stuff.

OP, it sounds like you’re looking for validation for your lifestyle? You did plenty and wholesome stuff with your daughter. You are giving her a lovely childhood. Don’t compare other’s highlight reels to your life. Are you happy? Is your daughter happy? Your husband? That’s all that matters.

You know full well you were being smug and smarmy and now you are just trying to backtrack.

You also know full well that your weekend was what a lot of people crave, especially those who have no family or who are single and without children who feel unhappy that their circumstances weren't as they envisaged or werent as they hoped life would transpire.

Do you honestly think we can't see through your aim of your post? It is as transparent and blatent as it gets.

Your weekend sounds like a normal weekend. What you're seeing on social media is the one off stuff for us.

Insufferably smug post

This doesn't wash. If the aim of your original post was about money and being unable to afford a more exciting weekend, you would have worded it very differently

Precisely.

I am in a happy relationship, but wouldn't dream of spouting my cozy night in rubbish to any of my friends.

I love a slow weekend. The trouble is there's always a birthday party or a show or a friend with an idea for something fun to do. This weekend we met up with friends to exchange gifts and go to a lightshow with the kids then yesterday was DD's Christmas show as she's in musical theatre. Next weekend my other friend is in a panto so we're going to see that but trying really hard not to book anything for Saturday other than DD's usual swimming lesson.

I think this year it's partly because there's only 2 weekends in December before the Christmas holidays so even just 2 or 3 Christmas events fills them up.

All 3 of us have a lot of hobbies and stuff just comes up.

If you makes you feel any better I dont think my dc left the house all weekend . Dh and I had jobs to do, like a tip run and food shopping. I took a relative to a hospital appointment yesterday morning. Yesterday, when I got home, I did nothing but watch films all afternoon. I think a weekend home is nice. I know both my dc were tired, they were is school all week, they're on the bus stop by 7.50 every morning and do x3 activities after school, they wanted a break. I think it sounds like you had a great weekend!

Honestly our weekends in December are much busier yes. This weekend we had a big day out/ special trip. But the other day was fairly quiet apart from a birthday party for DD.

The weekends between now and Christmas itself all have something planned in - polar express at the cinema with a friend and her kids, a lights walk, a theatre trip etc. But we always try to keep one low key day too. And plenty of our other weekend throughout the year are slow and quiet. They won’t make it to social media though - but then not all of the bigger stuff does either, I’ll share the odd pic because I’m clearly a terrible, shallow person by mn standards, but certainly not everything.

Reading this as a working separated parent who is either without the kids some weekends and feeling lonely, or firefighting the kids on my own (this weekend while all of us were ill), this post has got me down . Think nuggets instead of roasts. Think screens as we weren't well enough for crafting, and besides, we don't have room for a trampoline in our tiny garden anyway. I'd say count your blessings, and remember home life is cramped and limited for many., so maybe they get out when they can, as it's easier and nicer.

I don’t understand why you are getting such a hard time OP!!! Honestly you did nothing wrong ignore those saying you are bragging! Your weekend sounds lovely. Same as you here - one DD aged 7. I admit we are usually busier but certainly not with visits to Lapland etc! More so with parties this time of year. This weekend was so relaxed, we had friends over Friday evening, Saturday helped the in laws with their tree and Sunday we did the weekly shop… the rest of the time we watched Xmas movies and lazed around on the couch in our comfies! It was bliss! I enjoy the calmness of one, take comfort in it and being able to provide your DC with time together xx

Edited to add - remember most people won’t Instagram relaxed weekends like this, they will post when they are on holiday and out etc so it’s likely not a true reflection of their day to day life!

OP, if you're still reading this - even if your original post was made in good faith, it's probably good for you to learn that, even with the best will in the world, most people will read the kind of language you used as self-congratulatory and performative.

Just don't judge yourself by what others are doing.

Some people do like to spend loads on Winter Wonderland (which my teens are going to with their fellow teens - it's my idea of hell) and so on. Good for them. So long as you're leading a nice life and are happy - so what?

Your weekend sounds lovely OP perfect!

Why??

But how can you not understand?

I also had a lovely weekend with my partner doing simple things. Things that fill me with contentment.

However, I am not smug. The amount of people out there who are mourning death anniversaries, or who have split up with somebody, or whose child has cancer is and should be sobering for all of us.

The OP's post was such a level of detail depicting a postcard Festive and cozy bond with her family, that it gave no consideration to those who are struggling with lonliness.

To come out publically and paint a rosy picture and then have the neck to look for validation on it, is tunnel visioned, smarmy and insults other people.

I am not sewn to my partner. And any cozy nights in that we do have, doesn't result in me bragging about it to others in a bid to lift myself up to be above everybody else on the happiness scale.

Also - as I said we're busier in December and we do like to do lots of Christmassy events in the run up - I like being out and about, it's easier with DD often, and I do like all the different occasions and doing activities that mark them. But that doesn't mean it's all the expensive, social-media friendly stuff. There's a middle ground between Winter Wonderland and staying at home in your PJs.

Our local (Local Authority owned, not National Trust) historic house does a really cute Elf Trail, which costs about £3. The lights walk we're going on it a local garden and cost less than £10 each. We go to the garden centre to look at their decorations and get a slice of cake and a hot chocolate. Or we have tickets to a kids performance at the local theatre, that's a bit more spendy but not compared to the city centre type ones. Not Christmas but another example, often much maligned on here, when we go 'pumpkin picking' it's a local farm that does it to raise money for charity, it's £10 per car and no obligation to spend any money beyond that, it's just a nice morning in the fresh air and different scenery honestly.

I know all those things are still money, and we're very lucky we can manage to do them because we do enjoy them. But it's not all the really showy, expensive stuff. I was in the queue for Lapland UK tickets way back in March, then had a sanity check of 'we can't actually afford this - or we can, but it would stop us doing other things that would actually be better value for our family right now' so I stopped. Friends went and had a magical time though, and good for them - I'm happy with what we're doing.

Come on? You know why.

I was single for seven years and smug couples drove me crazy with their "We went to Ikea together and bought wicker for our new conservatory, then took a stroll hand in hand with a hot chocolate alongs the banks of the river in London".

Never, in a million years would I be smug. People get sick, they die, they can leave you and life can happen

It is arrogant to assume we own a permanent state of bliss. We don't. We are assured of three things in life; death, taxes and change.

That is precisely why people do not want to be an audience for smug people, because they seem to think the above three life gaurantees do not apply to them.

I don’t get the impression that OP is bragging at all. We have obviously interpreted OPs post differently. She was concerned that she wasn’t doing enough with her child compared to those she has seen on social media. To insinuate that she wrote the post while cruelly forgetting about people going through something difficult is a bit much, I’m pretty sure that was not the intention. I actually do have friends going through cancer treatment at the moment and worry deeply about this… but still question if I am doing the best for my child etc, these thoughts can coexist!

Of course, both can indeed co-exist.

But the level of detail she went into had one objective and that was to brag.

It was smarmy, inconsiderate and used an audience as bait by portraying herself as less intelligent than she really was by asking if her weekend was a good one, knowing full well it was a depiction of a Christmas advert.

People are not stupid and can see people's intentions from a mile away.

That doesn't wash with me and I am the type of person who calls people out on agendas.

My weekend involved making Christmas baubles with DS (he's an older child with SEND). He enjoyed sticking on coloured tissue paper to decorate them.

We watched Christmas films and I made him a playlist of his favourite Christmas songs.

In the evening we went for a drive in the car to see the Christmas lights. He enjoyed a Mcflurry from McDonald's.

He gets too overwhelmed by huge Christmas events, but I enjoy family time at home with him.

I think it could also be seen as an invitation to criticise those posting their Instagram weekends as fake/false etc compared to the OP's wholesome weekend. To me it comes over as simultaneously self-satisfied and judgmental of others. As I said previously though, I'm a cynic and understand that others interpret it differently.

I agree.

It reminds of a time where a pregnant friend of mine nearly made my brain dribble out of my ear going on about how her friend couldnt wait to meet her new baby.

Friend then made a smug drama out of it by declaring, "I don't want her coming around so soon and ruining the bond with my baby's daddy, so I text her back and said we need time to bond as a family, I will let you know when you can visit".

Seriously! Since when did an hour's visit from a friend interupt the developmental blueprint of a baby's neuro or cognitive potential!

I wouldn't mind, but her husband is a useless lump who does sod all, to this day!

It sounds like a normal weekend. Many people would have done similar, they just don't post it on SM because it's normal. Most people would only do pictures and posts if it was something special.