Does anyone have weekends like this anymore?

[Ranoutofideasfortheelves]

Friday night, got in, made chilli and nachos, fire on, throws on, pjs on, dh, me, dd (7) and ddog on the sofa watching films
Saturday, Dd did colouring in the morning, had pancakes, then her friend came to play, then she went to theirs for a few hours. I watched xmas films and sewed a top, Dh messed about on his computer.
I made lasagna and Dd came home, we had a dance to Christmas music then watched Home alone and bed.
Today we took ddog out to the woods, dd did clay, we made chocolate Christmas tree biscuits and played with her elves, played in the garden on the trampoline with the elves, had a roast, bath, fire, stories & bed.

Just been looking at Instagram etc and so many posts of visits to cities, girls nights out, santa spectacular shows, Lapland, London visits etc and just feeling a bit 😬
We will do a few Christmas outings for sure, but don’t seem half as busy (or wealthy)as lots of people. I remember lots of weekends as a kid being slow, but I was perfectly happy. We definitely do a lot more with Dd than I did as a kid, but do most of you do these kind of outings most weekends? Is Dd missing out?

It wasn’t an overt brag. It was a subtle attempt to get people to make validating comments.

The language was chosen in such a way that it was designed to make people congratulate OP on her “simple, cosy” life and her family. Its was very deliberately targeted at a particular kind of Mumsnet sensibility.

Its not the worst crime. But in a world where people are struggling to feed their families, where people are struggling with illness, bankruptcy, loneliness and worse, positioning this very comforting picture as being somehow wanting because it wasn’t Instagrammable was tone deaf and ill judged. I don’t think OP deserves a kicking for it but I wish people would think a bit more about how these sorts of humblebrags land.

Talk about overthinking.

People are free to scroll on by. Expecting every poster to dumb down their comments in case they make someone with a different lifestyle feel sad is absurd.

Yes. Some weekend are busy and some are like yours. This weekend we done very little but slouch about the house.

People are free to scroll on by.

People are also free to read and call out slightly tactless humblebragging when they see it. Its a public town square.

And enough of us felt it was a bit smug to suggest it wasn’t just overthinking.

Batty.

I don’t think she sounded smug, but either way no one is forced to read a stranger’s comment on the internet, let alone to overreact to it.

Should obese people not post in case it saddens people who are hungry? Should pregnancy threads be deleted lest they sound “smug” to the infertile? Should job woes be banned out of consideration for the unemployed?

That isn't the issue.

The issue is using an audience as bait with one aim of validation. That applies to real life also. Arrogance is the parent trait of smug and nobody wants to be around an arrogant person.

In addition, your suggestion of "keep scrolling" is pie in the sky. The OP had the right to post her smug post, and likewise, people have the right to respond.

Some people are so unhappy and bitter in their own circumstances that through their warped lens, anyone else’s happiness is interpreted as “boasting,” “humblebragging” or “privileged.” Shall we start calling them out, too?

The OP did read a bit like a cosy instagram video cut to some Christmassy ballad in written form, let's face it 😅

Batty? How? Because a good few posters are of the same view.

And yes, if the tone of a poster in any of the above scenarios that you mentioned smacked of smugness, then yes, I would be calling that out too. If they were worded without any level of smugness then I wouldn't call it out.

People have the right to respond. Why should anybody pipe back down into their box if they feel like calling out a trait they don't like?

I don't have to abide by a rule whereby I enable a trait and allow it to flourish.

Everyone uses their free time differently. For us we like to be out and about every weekend because that’s how we best like to use our free time. The type of weekend you’ve described is how we would spend the time between Christmas and new year but not how we would spend every weekend, no. For us a quiet weekend is something we pre plan and look forward to after a particularly busy time of being out and about. I am looking forward to the time after Christmas so we can just sit in bed do nothing but until then we are busy every week.

There’s no right or wrong way as long as you’re spending time with your children and not ignoring them imo.

Social media isn’t real though, people post the best parts of their lives so I wouldn’t over think that.

Yep. I read it and thought 1) ‘that does sound lovely though’ and 2) ‘it’s going to be a thread full of people saying how perfect and wholesome it sounds, how nobody needs these tacky big events that are shit anyway and everyone is only doing it for social media likes anyway. The OPs way is much better etc etc.

And it did read a bit like it was supposed to elicit those sorts of responses, so I can understand where the ‘smug’ accusations are coming from, but if the OP says they weren’t intended then prepared to believe it’s my defensiveness as someone who quite likes a ‘tacky’ event and occasionally posts about it on social media

It read to me like a list of frugal ways to pass the time if one hasn’t much money.

Unhappy and bitter? I am in a good relationship, whereby we put our tree up this weekend, had our dog bouncing around, had a lovely roast and had a beer or two. That was after a nice morning with my OH's parents.

Guess what, I didn't feel the need to make any public opinion poll about it asking others if my weekend was good or look for anybody to plump up my smug feathers.

I, and all other non-smuggers know that it is arrogant and disingenious to ask others to stroke my smug ego!

That's surprising since the focus was definitely on the simplicity and not on the frugality

Your weekend sounds lovely, it’s how we spent most weekends as kids. Problem I have is that one of my three children would be fine with that kind of weekend, the other two need an absolute tone of outdoor exercise/ play to be remotely able to enjoy a chilled film/baking/colouring type weekend. A half hour trip to the playground will never cut it, it has to be several hours minimum of outdoor walking/running/climbing/ paddling in streams etc etc. I find it quite exhausting, but we do that most weekend mornings, and then stand a chance at a chilled out afternoon. I don’t think most people are doing the instagram thing all the time- this time of year it’s more of a special treat, which is fine sometimes too.

We're the same in winter... this weekend was an exception. a kids birthday party and a pub lunch. The kids said 'can next weekend just be us'. yup.

Pancakes, colouring, trampoline, tv, etc all jumped out to me as low / no-cost ways to entertain the kids.

No, it didn't. It was peppered with unneccessary detail for it to be that.

The post went into detail about crackling fires and then further went on to question why people don't do this more often.

All that was missing was "It's a Wonderful Life" on a large 80" screen in the background or her husband of the year roasting chesnuts on an open fire.

Nobody wants to be assaulted with visual wankery, and then worse, select a broad audience that undoubtedly comprise of people going through lonely times by asking, "Hey, how does my weekend sound, was it good or should I have given the pork crackling longer in the oven?".

Calling people "bitter" because they offer any kind of critique of someone else is a real cheap shot. It's a way of closing down an open discussion and a reliable indicator that the person making the accusation has nothing better to say.

I'm very open that I found this post hard to read: I'm about to lose my job and will probably default on my mortgage so I'm (literally) working seven days a week, eight hours a day in order to pay the bills. I can't get overly excited in Christmas planning because I don't have any money and I don't have time to spend on my DD. It's going to be a really tough year for me and my family.

I have no problem with people celebrating their good fortune and happiness. What irritates me (and many others by the sounds of it) is the dishonesty: positioning this as "I'm not doing well enough for my child", when everything in the post is designed to conjure up a kind of Hallmark cards image of a perfect family Christmas.

The OP can post what she wants, and I'm at pains to say I don't think her post is awful. But I do think if she genuinely wants people to pity her for not being able to be in Lapland or at Disney World or whatever, she can't in the same breath post the most self-satisfied and detailed description of what many would consider the perfect family weekend.

It was just smug and insensitive. Lots of people found this.

1000% this, and the fact that you had to expand on your own personal experience in order for people to see a lot of people's gripes with the OP's post is frustrating

The “positioning” is in the eye of the beholder.

Quite true. But with respect, the fact that you miss not so subtle subtext evidently would be a concern for me, if that was me.

You do you ,why do private what others do ?

That care what others do ?