Burst my friend's bubble?

[Flyingmonica]

My friend goes on about her son likely being tall - 6 foot 3 based on the UK growth chart. Would I be unreasonable in telling her that because she isn't very tall, this is unlikely to be the case and that the growth chart predictions are rubbish?

She is sold on the idea of her son being tall and her son has come to believe that too but I think that now he is approaching puberty, he may become very disappointed.

Should I just leave it be or should I give her a dose of reality?

I don't think many people care as much as you appear to. My dh is below average height. It's not something I think about beyond that

5ft6 at just turned 14 would put him on track for around 6ft 6ft 1 I don’t get why you think that won’t happen

My DC predicted to be 4'9 is 5'7 fully grown.

It's basically unpredictable. You can think you are being kind by resetting your friend's expectations but you may be wrong and just look foolish and kind of mean. I would zip it and just smile.

BTW I agree that being tall in our society IS valued (upto a certain disbling height). Of course it shouldn't be. But it is, particularly for men.

My brother - 5ft 9
His wife - 5ft 3
Their DD 1 and 2- 5ft 5
Their DD3 - 6ft 1

You never know 🤷‍♂️.

I was 5'11 at aged 12. My sister is 5'2 as an adult.

My sons are 5'9 and 6'5 ... weird.

The books were well off.

My DH is 6’6 and neither of his parents are anywhere near that tall!

My 12yo DD is already taller than me at 5’7!

MIL is 5' 1", FIL 5' 9" (same as me). DH? 6' 3"...

Don't spoil your friend's dreamy ponderings just to, you know, be a bitch...

I’m 5ft 1, husband 6ft.

My DD is 75th percentile at age 2 and towers over the other kids. She was big in the womb and came out 90th percentile.

You can’t guess at genetic lottery.

You are both as bad as each other; neither of you knows what height he will be. My DB and DSIL are both under 5' 6", and their sons are over 6' 4".

Absolutely pointless saying anything, as you can't predict.

I am 5,3, his Dad is 5,11’ and he is 6,2 at 16. His sister is 5,3’ too. You can never tell.

Height only matters to certain people OP.
In my social circle there are men all different heights from 5'5 to 6'6. I'm 5'2 and I don't care about height in men, in fact, I always wanted a boyfriend around the same height as me as it would be much easier to kiss and gaze into their eyes without getting a sore neck.
DH is 5'10 though so that's out the window.

It’s “small man syndrome” where I am, and has nothing to do with height.

Perhaps if he’s a lot shorter than expected, she can move with him closer to me than you. It seems height is hugely important where you are, it’s really not where I am.

My dad is 6’ and his parents were 5’ 6 and 4’ 10.
DH is 6’ 2 and his parents are 5’ 7 and 5’9.
You never know

My brothers are a few inches taller than either of my parents and my dh is 6ft 2", taller than his dad by 5 inches. Taller than his mother by a foot. So yes, OP might end up with egg on her face.

I have to laugh, but seriously- this!!!

What is wrong with you?

If I had friend discussing this, I would just be neutral about it - maybe he will, maybe he won't. I wouldn't be trying to burst anyone's bubble and I would absolutely not talk to another person's kid about it or go on about how important height is.

Based on my and my husband's height, and the height of most women in our families, my 18 year old DD should be significantly taller. She's 5ft 3 or inches.

Based on the growth charts I saw when she was little, my 16 year old who was fairly ill from birth til she was about 5 and has always struggled with low appetite should not be towering over me and the 18 year old in glee. She's about 5'9"

There is currently an occasional debate in the family on how tall the 14 year old DS2 will end up. The 16 year old has declared he will not be taller than her. I've not really tried to burst her bubble on that by virtue of DS2 being male, he will likely be taller - I'm fairly sure she's aware of the situation being surrounded by guy friends and her older brother and there is little harm in her fun.

Is it so hard to understand that by by relying on a growth chart when he was young to set expectations about his height may cause issues?

It's actually quite difficult for me to understand how this could cause any issues.

My DB is one of the most successful people in the country. Literally, such that it would be outing to even give an indication of what it is. And he's only 5' 6. My BIL is 6' 2" and has made a total horlicks of everything. Complete and total. Always assumed that his "height" would help him in life totally forgetting that being a chump trumps something that he had nothing to do with.

You are saying they are obsessed by height but by even having an opinion on something you can neither influence or measure at this point you are just as bad. You really should start judging people from the neck up.

I’m 5 4 and DH 5 11,our DS is 6 3 so can happen

Let them live in ignorance. He will find out fir himself later on

Bizarre - keep out of it.

Because if a child 'fails' to achieve that height, they will do so in adolescence when they are already flooded with insecurities about who they should be and how to succeed. especially for boys and men, the pressure to be tall is horrible.

A chart is so arbitrary. It doesn't take into account actual genetics, other factors that affect height. It is stupid to focus on it. Just let children grow up, whatever size and shape they are. Focus on their physical health, fitness, strength, their confidence and wellbeing. Then height won't matter. Aside from good posture, there's sod all they can do about it.

I'm fairly sure that

Martin Luther King
Mahatma Gandhi
Winston Churchill
Yuri Gagarin
Lionel Messi
Maradona
Bono
Michael Schumacher
Al Pacino
Emmanuel Macron
Volodymyr Zelenskyy
Vladimir Putin

Are all perfectly happy with their careers and manage to live with their short man syndrome without trauma.

Nobody can predict for certain how tall he will be. You don’t know any better than she does. And she probably knows no better than you. It’s all too hit and miss.
If she goes on about it, then yes, it obviously matters to your friend that he grows tall for some reason Why does it matter to you that he may not grow as tall as she hopes
Let her live in hope.
Why do you want to dash her hopes. Is it because you secretly hope he doesn’t grow tall ?.

I’m 5 foot 3, my ex is 5 foot 7, and our son is 6 foot 4. 🤷‍♀️. It doesn't always work as you think. 😉