What you’re describing—constant unpredictability, public criticism, and micromanagement—creates a psychologically unsafe and toxic environment, and it’s understandable that you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
I'm a Mediator and Leadership Legacy Development Coach, and from this lens, there are a few things you might consider:
Document everything. Keep a private record of specific incidents (dates, what was said/done, impact). This helps if you ever need to escalate, but it also gives you clarity about whether the behavior is consistent or situational. Documentation is your shield—it turns vague frustration into concrete evidence.
Set boundaries calmly. If she criticizes you publicly, you might say, “I’d like to discuss feedback one-on-one so I can focus fully on improving.” This reframes the dynamic without escalating conflict.
Anchor yourself in what you enjoy. You mentioned liking the work itself—lean into that as a source of stability while you plan your exit strategy.
Plan your transition with intention. You’re already applying elsewhere, which is wise. Use this time to clarify what kind of leadership culture you want in your next role so you don’t end up in a similar situation.
Remember, her behavior says more about her lack of management skills than about your worth.
Many of us have had “hellish managers,” and the common thread in coping is finding ways to protect your confidence and dignity while you prepare for a healthier environment. You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you’re already thinking strategically about your next step shows resilience.
And don't forget to file a grievance.