If I see any more comments on Mumsnet of it's just a dog

[Lifeneedsaresetagain]

Do people not realise that for those who welcome them into the family they are part of the family. And if you have a dog and say it's just a dog, I'm not sure you should have one.

Well, that's one post I didn't expect to see. 😵‍💫

And this is the other. 😳

Great - so does your dog have an ISA, is it included in your will, did you give birth to it, do the Courts legally recognise your dog as your child. Does your dog have rights under the ECHR?

It is an absolute nonsense to say your dog is ON PAR with your child. Or if true your child’s emotional, intellectual and physical needs are being neglected.

But they actually do feel pain and fear and grief. Are you a sociopath?

If someone said that about your children would you be offended? If I said I think your children are stinky and stupid and boring and I never want them in my house so get a babysitter on Christmas. What would you think? Nobody has to like your children, but they are a dick to venture that opinion in front of someone who loves their own children. It's just mean and rude.

I grew up with dogs, and for many years as an adult had a dog of my own. I was, I can now see, one of those infuriating dog owners who thought the sun shone out of her backside and just assumed if other people didn’t feel the same way, then they soon would. I would cheerfully call ‘oh don’t worry, she’s friendly!’ as we walked past other people on narrow streets (she was on a lead). I would take her on the train where she would sit on my lap and sniff the person sitting next to me. I would dotingly say ‘oh, she’s just being friendly!’ Similarly, she would sit at my feet on public transport and sniff the ankles of people who walked past and I would watch her adoringly and think ‘other people must think she’s so sweet!’ I was totally oblivious and ignorant.

Fast forward a few years, and she sadly died. My circumstances then changed and owning a dog was no longer feasible, and I had children. My son is, and has been since he was a tiny baby, absolutely petrified of dogs. We can’t pinpoint anything obvious as having caused it but dog owners who act in a similar way to how used to act make me realise how incredibly selfish and oblivious I was to the feelings of others. I’m by no means a dog hater, but I do get very frustrated with the attitudes and behaviour of dog owners.

Yeah, the "just being friendly" mob are twats. But the minority.

In what context do people say ‘it’s just a dog?’

I think that’s what matters here really.

This thread is so dramatic, where did she say dogs couldn’t feel pain or grief and why are you calling her a sociopath?

Children are hated much much more than dogs. The internet is rife with it. I think only on Mumsnet (makes sense) I haven’t seen it.

But yes, I do understand that people don’t and shouldn’t see my child the way I see him. And yes someone saying ‘I think he’s stinky’ would indeed be rude.

However if inviting people somewhere there’s a vast difference between dog and child. They are not equivalent in the slightest. And it’s bizarre to think they are.

God all the sneery people who jumped straight in to say 'but they are just pets' we know you think it. Why can you never stop yourselves from saying it to people who obviously don't think it themselves. So sneery, judgemental, and belittling. Imagine if every post someone wrote about there child, people would say who cares, I hate your child and so does everyone else. It's just mean. You obviously know on an intellectual level that people feel differently to you about their dogs, so why do you act like a sociopath with zero emotions and feel the need to make people feel bad for it?

IME, the ‘just being friendly’ mob are absolutely not the minority. I suppose we all have different experiences and meet different people but I think the vast majority of dog owners I’ve had encounters with fall into this category.

God all the sneery people who jumped straight in to say 'but dogs are absolutely a part of my family, they’re like my children' we know you think it. Why can you never stop yourselves from saying it to people who obviously don't think it themselves. So sanctimonious , judgemental, and belittling.

You obviously know on an intellectual level that people feel differently to you about dogs, so why do you act like a sociopath with zero emotions and feel the need to make people feel bad for it?

Not in my experience.

I'd be a very rich woman if I had £1 for every time a dog owner told my terrified child that their dog is ''just being friendly''.

I adore my dog, take him many places, but there are some places it’s not appropriate to take him and he may need to be left at home, but give me an inch I’ll take a mile. Even though I tell my kids he’s my favourite child I also tell them I’d save them first in a fire. It’s important dogs do learn to be alone from a young age, sometimes that’s appropriate. He’s also banned from the sofa when I’m around, but has an extra basket beside it. He’s lovely but not the same status as humans.

I adore my children, and certainly hope other people like them too, but I absolutely don’t expect everyone to feel the same way about them as I do. If you called my children stinky and stupid and boring I would think you were incredibly rude and lacking in social skills/ decorum, but then my children aren’t stinky and stupid (sometimes they’re boring, I give you that, because sometimes we’re all boring).

I would never expect that my children be welcomed into spaces that are clearly not designed for them or appropriate for them, and I absolutely would not then get offended when I was told such.

So basically you just want replies from people who agree with you.

If someone chooses to get a dog, however much a part of the family they view dog as being, to other people - it’s just a dog.

It’s not a person. It’s not a child. It’s not a fur baby. It’s an animal.

HtH

Trouble is dog owners are deluded. They think everyone should love and accept their animal like they do.

Dog owners should not inflict their animal on other people or get offended if a host doesn't want their animal inside their house.

my lasting impression of dog owners stems back to childhood when our NDNs child defriended me because I said I didn't like their dog and didn't want it in my bedroom.

since then I've had a work colleague bring their dog round uninvited. The dog promptly threw up on my living room carpet.

ive been jumped on by a dog whose owner just said dont worry he's only playing he won't bite. Yeah right.

it isn't the dogs fault that their owners are deluded and can't keep their dog under control, but they are a PITA.

TBH I think that's code for "it's not unfriendly" ie it won't bite.

We don't let our dog approach other people - she wouldn't anyway as she's not interested in people or children - or strange dogs. MN has been an education, I knew that not everyone liked dogs, but now I know that some people REALLY don't like them (I'd say actively hate in some cases) so now I am super vigilant. We would never take her shopping or to restaurants other than once in a blue moon when we go to a local beach cafe that promotes its dog friendliness and sells dog bowls of sausage and kibble. Frankly she's happier on home turf.

So do elephants, dolphins, and kangaroos. Doesn't mean they're not non-human animals.... just like dogs.

It's so interesting that working dogs who do highly intelligent stuff like herding sheep and cows, protecting people and property, helping people get around, finding things, etc, are treated respectfully and kindly by their handlers, but ultimately like.... dogs who have a different place in the hierarchy of society than humans and thrive on boundaries.

But pet dogs whose role is to play with and accompany people (a very important role) for some reason, some dog owners want other people to not have any boundaries with them such as seeing them as being in a different category from humans or not wanting them in a Cafe where they do not belong.... because they're dogs.

My uncle had a pet kangaroo. He was allowed in the house, but not on the sofa.

But surely the kangaroo was his fur baby!🤣

Eventually his “fur baby” grew taller than him and much more powerful 😄

I agree with wellstonethecrows, and it has been part of my experience. I had a dog that I loved dearly - but I loved him as a dog, not as one of my children, and I never expected to be able to take him everywhere my children went.