Loud Ipads/ phones being used to entertain children in restaurants

[SilverDoublet]

I was in a restaurant recently, I don't often get out and was out with my son aged 6 while waiting to collect my older child. Our food had just arrived when we noticed some very annoying loud noise coming from the table next to us, sounded liked people shouting and screaming. It was hard to relax and eat with the noise. It turned out it was a child watching YouTube while eating. I politely asked if the parents could maybe turn it down a little and was told no, that unfortunately the child can only eat while watching a screen. Was I being unreasonable to ask to turn it down a little?

I wish people would be respectful and use headphones in public places.
I also wish people would stop being so judgemental, nobody knows what is going on with a family and if a child is quietly using a screen in a public place then so be it.

The problem is that too many people treat public spaces as extensions of their home. And too many people let their kids run riot at home so they have no shame in letting them do the same in public as well. It's just their "normal".

In your opinion. Do you perhaps eat in near silence? I promise you, I could hear conversations from several tables over. I couldn’t hear what he was looking at, and he was sitting next to me. There was so much background noise in the place. No-one so much glanced in his direction. If I had tried to force a pair of headphones on him, the whole restaurant and several streets away would have known about it.

So you go to restaurants only at quiet times and it's not busy, but there's so much background noise others can't hear your child's ipad when he watches videos? And despite all the background noise you definitely had it on the lowest volume setting...

I have definitely been in restaurants where parents have thought it was't obtrusive because they were so used to it, they'd learned to filter it out like other background noises. But other people definitely could hear it. We never confront anyone though, because in general people who do this don't care about anyone else other than themselves. Including other SEN kids/ND families.

This specific time I’m referring to was fireworks night, and the restaurant was busy as there was a local display on. It was 6pm. The restaurant is a former pub, large, cavernous, wooden floors. There was music playing, loads of chatter, and the group who had clearly been in since lunch time, screaming and shouting. My son had the volume at 1 up from mute.

@BestOfTimesBlurstOfTimes Was he really able to hear at the volume? I know it can be very difficult for a SEN child (I have one too) to have to watch something very very quietly (1 up is barely audible), so headphones make more sense.

I know I've asked generally on here before but does he not use noise cancelling headphones?

He’s more about the visuals than the sound. He likes zooming in and magnifying characters and small background details. He can’t tolerate headphones or ear defenders and will remove both immediately.

Okay, i don't think that this would be considered inappropriate then as it seems he's not disturbing others. I don't think him watching videos very quietly would constitute unwanted noise to me, it would probably blend in the background with others talking at a normal volume.

We are all on spectra for various things.

A family who can socialise during a meal, might have children who are are easily distracted, so can pick up on the inane ta-da sounds and squeaky voices from another table, and that can ruin the family meal dynamic.

Remember that children have much better : hearing than adults, so even if an adult can't hear the offending tones, a child a few tables away certainly can.

Even loud organic conversations from around the restaurant are not notable to a distractable child.

Normal conversations are fine: electronically derived sounds are not.

Honestly, yes. Even a noisy kid problem won't shout and scream through the whole meal. If they do they will likely be taken outside by a parent. A headphoneless ipad is relentless.

Pubs and eateries need to crack down on it. There should be a rule that all phones and tablets need to be silenced.

I think there has been mention here that some parents view restaurants as an extension of home. This means that home behaviours are acceptable/encouraged in restaurants.

To me, I see going outside the home as an opportunity to reset troublesome fads. Children are usually keen to fit in with social constructs and it's the parents who say they are unable to without even giving them the opportunity to make their own choices.

What is so hard about just saying to the child, "when we are in Wetherspoons, we sit down and talk about our days. We tell jokes. We describe what we see around us. We play I-spy. We try to see dragons in the swirly carpets."...?

The first time, this might be 5 minutes. The second time, it might be 10.

You cannot give up on a child when they are three or four years old to say that they cannot do something - ever. What is their future going to be like? They can't concentrate for 15 minutes - yet.

So you're that parent. Have some manners and consideration for other people, if your child can't behave or eat dinner without a screen feed them at home!

I think the child should of been give ear phones while watching the video on phone. You were not unreasonable.

I’m almost sure that when most of us grew up we could go to a restaurant and not have to be entertained by a screen. It’s isn’t socially acceptable or okay and quite frankly why go out at all if you aren’t even going to talk or interact with each other.

We don’t allow screens at tables or in restaurants. It isn’t a holier than though statement but we didn’t want our kids to grow up like that and frankly we enjoy being with our kids and talking to them.

Personally I think it’s lazy parenting and if you are going to be lazy the rest of the restaurant shouldn’t have to suffer. I don’t go out to eat to watch and hear a screen the table over.