Loud Ipads/ phones being used to entertain children in restaurants

[SilverDoublet]

I was in a restaurant recently, I don't often get out and was out with my son aged 6 while waiting to collect my older child. Our food had just arrived when we noticed some very annoying loud noise coming from the table next to us, sounded liked people shouting and screaming. It was hard to relax and eat with the noise. It turned out it was a child watching YouTube while eating. I politely asked if the parents could maybe turn it down a little and was told no, that unfortunately the child can only eat while watching a screen. Was I being unreasonable to ask to turn it down a little?

I want this on billboards everywhere. Had to sit with my very unwell child in a hospital waiting room where at least six different devices were all playing different things at full volume - YouTube, games, tiktok videos, all inane and irritating. It was the most stressful, overstimulating environment and my child found it totally intolerable. If everyone stuck a pair of headphones on, they wouldn't be inconveniencing anyone else at all.

I was also in a hospital environment waiting for my child to come out of very invasive surgery. And a young teen had their volume on their home. It was ME that had to put MY headphones on the drown out it their noise.

100%

Believe me, it’s still disturbs people! Either volume off completely, headphones, no iPad and your teach him how to behave by entertaining him, or you don’t go.

Headphones. It's very overstimulating and annoying for others having to listen to Cocomelon or whatever annoying cartoon it is, whilst trying to talk and eat a meal. We all know that.

We all love our children and we think they're the most important things in the world, but the reality is that other people don't love our children in the same way and they don't have to. It's a hard lesson to accept but accept it we must.

I just LOVE how tolerant and considerate everyone is. 😬

For the parents that say their children don't wear headphones at restaurants/buses because they don't like them, I take it they don't wear noise cancelling headphones then? Noise doesn't overstimulate them or is this selective?

You’re right! The parents allowing their kids to do this are incredibly inconsiderate. They need to be way more considerate of other people and understand that their precious little child and their need for 24hr screens and the laziness of not parenting doesn’t come before others in the shared space.

Oh no! They can do what they want, it’s none of your business!

I still don't want to hear your child's iPad.

You don’t get to dictate what people do! There aren’t ‘rules’ for not using a phone in a hospital waiting room, and all the other patients were unwell hence why they were. Some were probably waiting for very long. You have obviously ‘survived’ the incident! Jeeeez

But it's ok for other people to inflict their noise on others?

I see again it's very much tough shit for those of us with hearing impairments / find too much noise / loud noise painful

Don’t go to family restaurants then. You’re more likely to hear other people talking loudly than hear my child’s iPad, as we keep the volume so low. My son also uses his iPad as an AAC device, so it comes with us no matter what.

Sadly, there's a lack of consideration and tolerance in all directions.

You're right in that these are shared spaces, but seemingly the spaces are only to be shared with people who meet posters requirements.

FWIW, noise bothers me; I have misophonia. I also have ND children. We do not use screens in restaurants. I don't think that means I'm a better parent than others, or that people who do aren't welcome in the space we're sharing, and I wouldn't begrudge a family using screens.

It's a sad state of affairs when we become a 'my needs trump your needs' group of people, rather than showing consideration to others.

Well tough luck it’s not a choice… there is not much you can do about it! What you want/don’t want, doesn’t necessarily mean will happen!

Maybe you shouldn’t go to family restaurants if you have to inflict the audio from an iPad on others? What makes your need for a meal out trump other people’s?

Precisely this. I find lots of noise overstimulating, (probably ND, but undiagnosed) especially people who have had to much to drink and are screeching and shouting, but they are entitled to be in a restaurant, as is my autistic child. It is a public space. I am always hyper vigilant about how my son behaves when we are out, if it looks like he is disturbing someone, we take steps to correct that.

I dont mind the sounds of families talking :)

If the only choices when you take your child to a restaurant is an ipad with sound on or the child screaming then I would suggest you take a third choice, not taking them there in the first place, because they clearly aren't enjoying it and it's unfair on the other diners.

If you read my post, you’ll see I make sure my son’s iPad volume is kept to the minimum. I guarantee you the people at the next table could not hear it. What the whole restaurant could hear however, was a party of adults who were extremely drunk and shouting. What gave them the right to disturb others?

Yes it's odd that people don't see how insensitive it is having their choice of entertainment audible for others to accept, especially in a hospital where people are already unwell and uncomfortable. Perhaps we should start scooting over to them and looking at their screens - if we're going to listen to your/your child's videos, we may as well watch them together. See how intrusive and inconvenient that is?!

Believe me, the audio from an iPad, when on can be heard.

It is not directional audio is it? No, an iPad has sound that spreads out evenly in all directions, so it can be heard equally well from any angle around the source.

Unless you go around asking people if they can hear it? But I’m guessing you don’t bother doing that? As long as you and your child are ok Jack?

If they could hear the volume on the lowest setting in a former pub with wooden floorboards, no tablecloths, every table full, and a party of pissheads screaming, I would be fucking astounded. If I thought at any point he was disturbing someone, I would sort it. As it was, the table next to us had two kids shouting and practically crawling on the table.

Because crappy lazy parenting affects everyone.

twatty adults don’t suddenly wake up age 25 and start shouting at flight attendants, being rude to dr receptionists, demanding upgrades, exam extensions and any number of unreasonable accommodations.

children with “short attention spans” become impatient, demanding and disruptive school goers then rude obnoxious young adults. Their learned behaviour impacts everyone around them.

there is absolutely zero reason to go out to dinner with DC who are too young to sit still and engage in conversation or quiet activities. If they become distressed for 90 minutes without an iPad, do somthing with them that they might enjoy. It’s hardly rocket science.

What you can’t see is that you aren’t nice, you aren’t compassionate, and you certainly aren’t considerate when you impose on others like this. And you aren’t doing your children any favours as others will regard them in the same way - selfish and inconsiderate.