Loud Ipads/ phones being used to entertain children in restaurants

[SilverDoublet]

I was in a restaurant recently, I don't often get out and was out with my son aged 6 while waiting to collect my older child. Our food had just arrived when we noticed some very annoying loud noise coming from the table next to us, sounded liked people shouting and screaming. It was hard to relax and eat with the noise. It turned out it was a child watching YouTube while eating. I politely asked if the parents could maybe turn it down a little and was told no, that unfortunately the child can only eat while watching a screen. Was I being unreasonable to ask to turn it down a little?

Wow. Are you actually serious? Why does the other family get to dictate that OP has to eat her meal, which she's paying for, to the backdrop of their excessive noise? So insanely entitled, I cannot actually get my head round it.

If your child can't eat without a bloody noisy screen, you don't get to bring them to restaurants.

Your autistic child really isn’t allowed in a restaurant while they cannot be quiet. Just like I only take my autistic child to restaurants when I think they’re in the mood to be able to sit quietly, and remove them if they start kicking off. That’s what’s known as being a consciencous member of society. And yes it’s stressful to spend the whole time worrying if you might have to leave early, but that’s the chance you take in eating out with a ND child.

If you go to a typical French restaurant (the kind you find on the town square), French children can sit perfectly politely for a 2 hour meal. They engage in conversations with each other and the adults. They don't need diversions. Why are British children so different?

You really think I’ve never had to take him outside/go for a walk/leave early/abandon entirely before? 😂

Why don’t you do that then instead of disturbing other diners with your iPad? I’m so embarrassed for you!

Sadly I think this kind of selfish behaviour is here to stay. You hear it more and more in public places and I'm reading more people on here thinking it's acceptable to not have headphones on. To begin with I just thought it was people saying fuck you to everyone else but turns out those people actually believe they're considerate members of society. Boggles the mind really.

It is out peoples business when they can hear it. There is no need to have tablets with out headphones. It’s just rude

Oh do fuck off with your embarrassment!
As I stated previously, he also uses AAC software on his iPad, as in necessary for his communication needs. And with which he can ask to go to Pizza Express. Where he’ll sit nicely with his iPad, eat his pizza and dough balls, and then we’ll go home.

Ah! Not heard the old “if Peter says to put your hand in the oven…” saying?

Sounds like better parenting is needed so the child isn’t dictating the rules.

If the kid screams - you take them outside. They’ll soon learn. The issue is parents don’t want to be inconvenienced.

You are such a peach, aren't you?

For being pissed off for someone trying to dictate how my disabled son can access something as simple as a restaurant?
Guess we should go back to the good old days of keeping the disabled locked away where they don’t inconvenience anyone 🙄

I think you've missed the part where they take their child outside when they start kicking off?

It's not unreasonable to expect parents to actually parent their children, no. "You want to shout and scream? Great, we'll go straight home and you can do it there. Your day/meal out is over".

I made it absolutely clear to my kids, all eight of them, that inconveniencing other people was not acceptable. I never even had to raise my voice. We have left theme parks, pantos, got off buses and walked. Didn't take any of them long to get the message.

I think it only took one time for my five to get the message.

People in wheelchairs can’t roam all over medieval castles. People who need iPads without headphones to eat can’t in restaurants. It’s sucks, but that’s what it takes to live in a civilised society.

I think the most ridiculous time was when they totally melted down, I tucked them under my arm out of the pub to sit in the car, the desserts arrived and my (hungry) husband decided if the kids penguin-shaped ice cream wasn’t going to be eaten he may as well eat it himself.

It’s really hard being the parent to a ND child. Really exhausting. But it’s your child, not anyone else’s. You cannot go around letting their issues ruin other peoples experiences. My child never goes to the theatre / cinema etc as it would be way too overwhelming. But that’s life.

You might not like it, but they can. Or are you just making up your own rules now?

My son has never been to the cinema, or the theatre. Last weekend we tried taking him to a local winter wonderland, but he was overwhelmed and had a full on meltdown, so we left. There is already so much he is unable to access, so something as simple as a family meal, supported by the iPad (and again, not just watching cartoons, he uses it for AAC communication software to help communicate) is a small win. We go early so the restaurant will be less busy, and if he is finding it too much, we leave. But he has as much right to be there as anyone else.

I'm sorry, but eating out in restaurants isn't a human right under any circumstances. If your child can't be in a restaurant without blasting cartoons on a tablet and can't use headphones, it isn't reasonable to expect other families to put up with their own "simple family meal" being intruded upon. And in truth, he's not ready to cope with that experience yet, if he can't manage without it and you're frequently having to leave early even with it.

I honestly am not without empathy. SEN parenting is bloody hard. Sometimes you can't meet every need, sometimes you can't do the things you really want to do with them. You can feel trapped not being able to do things other families do without thinking. Tech gave us some breathing space when ours were wee, it's liberating, but hard when there are not many other ways they can be occupied enough. And of course, using an iPad for a communication need is obviously different to having it blasting out cartoons, it would be very unreasonable for other diners to complain about that.

You’ve lost your argument by resorting to swearing. Say it all really, and explains why you still think no headphones and low volume is acceptable. It’s not.

If kids can’t be in a restaurant without shouting, screaming and watching a tablet they should not be in a restaurant. END OF!

Why is it a choice between loud ipads or kids shouting and screaming? Why can't people just teach their kids to behave properly?

He doesn’t “blast cartoons”. Lowest volume setting. I won’t let him blast cartoons out in public. Often he is just zooming in on items of interest, or doing jigsaw puzzles, or looking at Google Earth. We aren’t often having to leave early, but we have left early in the past. I can’t seem to get the point across that we are super vigilant about his behaviour and noise level. More often than not, there are neurotypical children causing chaos, whereas he is sitting quietly. My husband and I aren’t sitting there getting stuck into a second bottle of wine and ignoring the kids.

The noise is awful for anyone on spectrum. Turn your noise OFF you ignorant people who think this is ok!!!