Not comfortable with MIL’s friend using our children’s pictures for gifts m

[Pumpkin8765]

My MIL’s friend who I have never met before has messaged DH asking for pics of our two young children. She wants to get calendars and a canvas made up with their pictures for MIL for Christmas. I’ve flat out said no as I’m not comfortable sending pics to someone I’ve never met and I don’t know what company she is using to get them made up etc. It feels like this gift should be something left to parents or grandparents. DH doesn’t agree he thinks I’m over reacting.

She had the same request last year but I said no. We were getting calendars made up ourselves.

AIBU about not feeling comfortable with her doing this?

That's a really odd gift for a random friend to give. It's something the parents should be giving, if anyone.

You're not wrong op.

I think yabu unreasonable about the company used but I do think it’s a present that should be from you.

Does your husband know her?

I think its weird to make a personalised calendar with pictures you arent in and didnt take

Depends on what she was planning, if different pages had different people on it and her grandchildren were just one page then I can understand the idea, if all the pictures were of grandchildren, that’s weird

A weird friend of my exMIL did this from fb pictures my ex-mil had posted. I was not with her son at the time. Ex-mil gave out presents “from” my baby to people too- despite never seeing him. People are just weird as…

It’s more that to get these calendars made up I am assuming she would have to send our kids pics to some random company. It makes me nervous knowing my children’s pictures are being sent somewhere that I don’t know is safe and secure.

Agree that’s quite odd, that type of present should be from you not a random friend. Would a short reply like “No sorry, we would prefer to gift MIL any personalised presents with the kids photos” shut it down?

Yes he has met her, so that’s why he doesn’t see an issue with it. I’ve never met her and she has never met our children and didn’t take the pics so it feels quite weird from my end.

The calendar would all be made up of pics of our kids.

What company do you think she is using ? Pornhub ?

Honestly .. what do you think she’ll be doing with them? It seems like a fairly innocuous request, from someone who wants to do something nice for a friend.

Your DH probably knows her better, and has no concerns.. but you aren’t listening to him (they are his children too)

Don't you trust your husband's judgement?

My understanding is it’s all pictures of our kids.

I definitely agree it’s the sort of thing a parent would do (on behalf of the kid(s)) for grandparents. I’m assuming this person isn’t random though, and a good friend of your MIL.

I agree with you OP.

There are absolute horror stories about the misuse of children's photos. You are very wise to be careful about who has access to photos of your DC.

And it's a very weird thing this woman to want to do in the first place.

Your DC and their privacy and safety should be guarded and you are right to refuse this odd request.

It's a weird thing to gift if the kids are not yours and you didn't take the photos.

I really don't see what the issue is with sending pics to a company to print - their job is printing other peoples IP, pics of kids, etc etc - what do you think they're going to do?

If they were selling images that belong to other people for any purpose - say, advertising, stock image companies etc - they'd be caught and out of business rapidly.

I agree. Very odd gift.

No but there are lots of concerns around AI and kids images being ‘stolen’ online these days. Lots of parents don’t post their kids on social media at all now for that reason. Sites get hacked, data breaches etc.

This is only part of the issue, it’s more I just don’t feel comfortable with it as never met her and she has never met our kids.

Yes, it feels like our family’s moments are personal and private. It is a bit odd imagining someone I don’t know selecting layouts and deciding which of our pics go in what order etc.

Agree it’s normally the parents of the children who would do this but it sounds like she’s trying to do a nice thing for a friend. I think you are overthinking and over dramatising this.

No that’s a really strange thing to give. Personalised family photo gifts only come from family. I completely get why you’re worried about the pics being sent to another company too. The posters questioning this are being quite naive at best.

If she's a good friend of MIL's and knows how important the GC are to her, then I think it's quite a nice idea tbh, but if she'd be duplicating something you yourselves are already doing, then I can understand why you'd say no. I do think it's slightly pushy of her to be asking again if you said no last year, and a bit rude to be asking your DH if it was you who said no last year. But I also think it's odd for your DH to want to say yes if you've explained to him that you're already doing a calendar. I think yabu to feel 'uncomfortable' about it. If you've got a valid reason to say no, then just say it fgs. Seems like a bit of a nothing problem tbh, sorry.

It’s a bit of a CF request since you need to do all the work of reviewing and selecting, maybe editing, the photos then she just sends them in and gets the credit!!

I would not send pictures to someone I had never mate. While a calendar with family pictures are nice idea and probably appreciated by the recipient, i would find it odd and a little uncomfortable to receive this gift from a friend who my family have never met. Maybe a calender of friends and friendship outings but family pictures should only come from family.

No way would I agree to that. She's weird.

Oh good lord. Those companies make thousands of calendars, magnets and other claptrap. They aren’t trafficking rings.