Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

[Moknicker]

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

• One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
• Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
• Total people on the trip: 8
• 4 from the host family.
• 4 individual children

Shared costs:

• Accommodation: 4k total
• Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
• Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OK here's a thought...

£4000 / 3 = £1333
add £300 = £1633 which rounds up to £1640.

Do you think they've just had a maths failure and divided the accommodation cost by the number of rooms rather than the number of guests?

I regularly share a holiday with another family. We share a 3 bed lodge; DS and I share a room. We pay one third of the lodge, plus our share of the initial food shop. We split expenditure after that. It all works out fine.

What's happened here is that the 'host' family seem to be subsidising their costs to the tune of several hundreds per extra child. Given there are 4 extra kids, they're pretty much getting their holiday funded.

Why have you not just asked for a breakdown of costs? There are so many unanswered questions in the info you’ve shared here it’s hard to tell if the price is unreasonable or not.

We don’t even know where in the world this is - I’ve just done 2 days skiing in the Rockies, with accommodation in a log cabin for 2, and frankly there was not much change from £1000 each even without flights. But for the same money in Europe, you could get a long weekend in shared accommodation quite nicely. Lift passes in some resorts in the States come in at £200+ per day easily. In Europe, you’d be hard pushed to find a resort charging more than £50 per day. I know this because DH and I spent plenty of time in the States goggling over the difference in prices.

Your list of what is included has not mentioned travel costs (other than the 7 seater car for 8 - how is this going to work?) Who is paying for flights, fuel, road tolls, parking costs? How are meals being provided? What about household essentials if it’s a self catering chalet - loo roll, soft drinks, firewood, etc?

You need a proper breakdown of costs, and you can only get that by asking the hosts, because no one on MN has the full picture. Personally, I would be properly pissed off if I’d offered to take your child away as part of my family and rather than getting together to discuss costs like grown ups I find out you’ve decided the host is unreasonable and posted it on a public forum without even asking.

" I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure)"

It's in the OP.

OP has already stated (in her first post) that the OP is covering flights etc. She also states that her child has a card to pay for lunches and incidentals.

If we're talking about charging OP for loo rolls, then these hosts should not be hosting at all.

We wouldn't dream of charging friends' children to join our holiday; flights yes, but nothing else. Certainly not loo roll and firewood.

Ski holidays are very expensive, but this seems outrageous.

Maybe they’re including part of the car hire, as presumably they wouldn’t be hiring one if it was just their children going. They should make it clear anyway.

Just send a friendly but clear response.

Thanks for this. It's a bit more than we expected and we are a bit confused by the numbers - are we covering something else in this cost? Car hire? Food? Something else we hadn't considered? Thanks.

If there are eight going, why are they booking a seven seater?

It seems over the top to take an additional four children along. That is a LOT!

I imagine this number is quite strategic tbh and now the OP is finding out why.

Is the extra cost for a minibus because surely they aren’t planning 8 people + luggage in a 7 seater car???

I’d just message and say that’s a bit more than we were expecting as we thought accommodation share + lift pass would = X not Y and is the extra to cover a bigger hire car?
I’d also have a secondary concern now that he’s not going to get a seatbelt on what is potentially a sketchy journey, motorways/mountain roads, so would want reassurance on that as much as where the money is going.

I think that's a good message.

So they've invited four other teens so their DC will have friends on their holiday but apart from a dinner or two they're 1) not prepared to pay for anything for their guests and 2) they're trying to split the accommodation by room rather than per person. Even if your £1600 includes money towards their car hire it's still too high Op.
Trouble is, now you've said yes asking for a proper breakdown is going to be awkward and your DC won't be happy if you cancel. Moral of this story- never say yes until you've seen the bottom line

Ah, well that’s an easy one to resolve then.

OP: ‘Hi HostMum, you say the lift pass is £300 and the accommodation is £4k - divide that by the 8 people staying and that’s £500 each. I make that £800. What’s the other £840 for?’

It’s not a trick question, it’s purely a fact finding exercise. Sensible people would ask this question and other sensible people would answer it. But none of that would give the drama of a MN thread. 🙄

Your updates make this all so much worse....this family sound like absolute CFs.

That’s an incredibly rude message though that most people would not want to send.

There are far better ways to rephrase this in a less aggressive and confrontational way and other posters have already given examples.

This feels very expensive to me. For comparison, we just booked a week in February for £1,150pp (7 going) in one of the main snowsure French Alps resorts. This includes accommodation (4 bed apartment within a hotel), flights from London, transfer from Grenoble airport and ski lift. It also includes extra suitcases/ski bags. Most of our group have their own skis but those who don’t will rent (about £140 for the week). We will make our own breakfasts and lunches in the apartment to keep costs down. We are technically ski in ski out onto a nursery slope, 50m from another lift and a short walk to the main lifts/free bus if you don’t want to walk with skis.

I agree you need a full breakdown. Where are they going?? Sounds very expensive, but not unreasonable as skiing can be! Have to shop around for a good deal.

Yes, they're asking you to cover their costs. Some subsidy might be OK as they're looking after your DC, but not that much!

I think they have divided car hire, breakfast, dinner, ski hire, accommodation by the six DC.

This is good. Just ask - and come back and tell us!
As above, 300 for the ski pass is way too much in the Alps for 4 days, should be nearer 200 (easy to find out online).
Should be very straightforward to work out one-eighth of the apartment.
Your son pays separately for flights, insurance, ski hire, food on the mountain.
Then you are left with transfers from the airport (share of the car + petrol) and evening meals (one-eighth of the grocery shop). I'd be happy for the hosts to take these two up front but it doesn't come to the figure you've been quoted.

I must be a rude person then. Because it would be the first I’d ask. I would not find anyone asking me such a question rude though, as I appreciate that people want to know what they are giving me money for. I cannot understand how it’s rude to ask what the cost breakdown for something is, but it’s not rude to not ask, then be surprised, then moan and bitch about it on MN without actually knowing what the full costs are. And if the full costs are £800 and not a penny more, but the host family want £1640, then I do also think that!s CFery but you can’t not ask because you think it’s rude to ask.

Anyway. I’m not the one here being possibly (or possibly not, who knows?) fleeced over a kid’s trip with a friend.

We used to go in groups. There are discounts on groups. One friend out in a lot of effort organising these bug had a free holiday. If you put the holiday in your name you become responsible for the balance of the payment. Someone casually asked my husband if we'd go on one of these and he must have nodded. I was unaware of it and wouldn't have been able to go on that date. Apparently people dropped out and tge couple didn't get tgeir free holiday so they took a county court claim put against me. I was asked about my knowledge of the trip. I denied any knowledge and the plaintiffs were asked to show copies of the paperwork including our names, none was available. But the plaintiff said we were comfortably off and I could afford to reimburse them. I won and did in fact organise a trip for the following year. When I confirmed the holiday I listed the split of the invoice showing the names of those sharing rooms and a breakdown of the invoice. I added a small charge for admin, postage etc. One thing we did include was adequate insurance per person. I've had the privilege of flying over the Alps in a WW2 plane with its pilot, so seen heliskiing from above. Unfortunately I was born with problems walking and wore built up shoes when small. I'm knock kneed and have no co-ordination as well as having arthritis. So I can walk using poles and was very fit as I was quite happy in high altitude. One year one of the Aussie ski instructors offered to take me round the slopes on his skis promising not to dropme in the dips. He told me that my knees were misshapen. A few years ago it was recommended that I had new knees. Then we had Covid-19 and the consultant suggested I had new X rays and he'd send me to the local hospital to see a consultant there. He said as my knees weren't straight I wasn't suitable for an operation as replacement knees are straight. I believe there are more sophisticated and expensive alternatives now.

Maybe lessons are included too?

Honestly, piss take! If I was inviting other kids to come and I would say we pay for accommodation and the invitees pay for travel, ski pass etc and maybe some spends. But, at the very least, should be split as you suggest.

Sounds insanely expensive. I'd do a 'Thanks for the info, this is much more than we were expecting, could you send a breakdown as we can't get the maths to work and are trying to figure it all out'. We've done multiple 'shared trips with kids'. I've never known the organiser not to send the Airbnb link, showing costs, and agreeing how to share before booking.