Or was my birthday shit?

[FunnyFerret]

DH and I usually celebrate my birthday a bit early because my actual birthday falls during a busy period for his work. We had a lovely weekend away to celebrate last weekend, but my birthday is actually today. I didn’t hear from him at all throughout the day then he arrived home late while I was wrangling the DC into bed. We got into a row because I told him I was pissed off that he wasn’t home earlier and I wasn’t in the mood to open presents after a long day of solo parenting.

I said he could have made the effort to come home on time today (it’s 1 fucking day!) and that I often feel like I come second to his work. He says I knew he was busy and that he’s made an effort with the weekend away and feels I am punishing him by refusing the gifts etc.

AIBU? I find myself getting upset most years on my birthday so I’m not sure if it’s just me having blubber or if my day has genuinely been shit.

Oh the drama over nothing
I cannot believe this OP
When you were born what did you do
Just pooped out and screamed a bit
Jeez

Nothing happens on mine either OP. I ran out of energy to keep organising things a few years back. Acceptance is a powerful tool. I’ve always organised nice things for DH and a few family members and friends for theirs, and I recently decided not to in future. Too much output of energy at this point in my life, I’m going to try and feed that effort back towards myself next year. Happy Birthday! 🥳

Nothing happens on mine either OP. I ran out of energy to keep organising things a few years back. Acceptance is a powerful tool. I’ve always organised nice things for DH and a few family members and friends for theirs, and I recently decided not to in future. Too much output of energy at this point in my life, I’m going to try and feed that effort back towards myself next year. Happy Birthday! 🥳

Grow up! You are lucky to see a birthday. I had chemo on mine this year and then had to go to bed. I will be lucky to see my next birthday.

i am married 25 years and the key to a happy birthday is low expectations so anything else is a bonus. You got a weekend away. You knew he was busy at work.

I think you behaved poorly and prescious

Jesus Christ, what a depressing outlook.

Life must be hard work with this level of drama. 5 out of 7 of us work on our birthdays every year

I get your point OP.
I think it would’ve been nice of him to send one text “happy birthday, really busy at work, love you” in the morning and then be home on time.
I suppose it does depend what job he has on if he could choose to come home on time etc.
not opening presents or saying not in the mood, is probs a bit far.
I think next year would be good to manage expectations. Maybe give gifts on the weekend away? Maybe get childcare/help on the day so you have some time to yourself. And say to DH, if possible can you come home XXX on my birthday.
happy birthday 🎂

I’m not one of those people who think adults shouldn’t celebrate birthdays, I love birthdays and make a big deal out of them, as does DH. However, we do have to accept that if our special day falls in a particularly busy time of year either nationally or personally with other commitments, we need to be flexible.

I have a family member whose birthday is on Christmas Eve. As much as family have always tried to make the day about her, she knows it’s never going to be the same as other peoples birthdays. What they have started to do as a family (her, DH and their DC) is choose a day in June to also celebrate her birthday. They go out for the day and or a meal, she gets a birthday cake and a couple of presents. Basically do the things she would like to do in her actual birthday but it isn’t practical to do.

are you for real ?? "you wouldnt stay with someone who didnt prioritise your birthday"..????????

You already got a weekend away. You honestly sound like a bit of a spoilt child. I can’t get my head around grown adults who are so precious over their own birthdays.