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AIBU?

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Original poster

6 year old is sad to only have 2 words to say in nativity

111 replies

Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 22:02

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to ask a question.
My six year old son is very sad to only have 2 words to say in the nativity. He says that everyone else has lots of words and are in more than one scene. He is in one scene.

He doesn't usually get upset by things but keeps mentioning how upset by this he is. He is also quite honest and tells me what is going on (telling me if he got in trouble etc) so I believe him.
he is also really sad that he has never got a certificate at all. He said quite sadly to me: I've shown perseverance! Why haven't I got one like everyone else?

WIBU to raise it with the teacher?something along the lines of: my son is a bit sad that he's got such a small part/ hasn't got a certificate unlike everyone else. I don't want to overstep, annoy the teacher or make things difficult for my son though. How should I approach it?
thank you.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 04/12/2025 22:12

I'd leave the play thing because it's extremely unlikely that EVERYONE has got multiple lines and scenes except him. Wait until you see it before you speak to the teacher. I think you'll find lots of kids have a only a couple of words/one scene.

I'd mention to the teacher that he's feeling disheartened about not having received a certificate yet. It's good for them to know that his morale is low so they can help encourage him/perk him up.

readingmakesmehappy · 04/12/2025 22:14

What is his part? One girl in DS’s nativity is a tree. She does not have many lines. Agree that you should wait until you see it as 6yo’s are not reliable narrators.

FunMustard · 04/12/2025 22:16

No, I think you should be bigging your son up for his amazing two words.

Sure mention the certificate though. Did your 6 year old really say "I've shown perseverance!"?

Kendodd · 04/12/2025 22:18

Is he doing lots of singing? Big that up.

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 22:19

re certificates, most schools will only give one certificate a week. We're still in term 2 so most children won't have been given one yet. He might feel that everyone else has had one but that's very unlikely.

I'd tell him that his turn will come and encourage him to focus on the positives at school rather than the negatives. If he still hasn't had a certificate by summer half-term, that's the time to mention it to the teacher as - even at a rate of one a week - in an average class of 30 children, everyone should have had a certificate by then.

Timetochillnow · 04/12/2025 22:20

Practice his two words so he is proud of them and the part he’s playing in telling the story - some children won’t have any words

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 22:21

FunMustard · 04/12/2025 22:16

No, I think you should be bigging your son up for his amazing two words.

Sure mention the certificate though. Did your 6 year old really say "I've shown perseverance!"?

That's quite likely if it's one of the school values (or whatever terminology the school uses).

One of our school values is resilience so a lot of 6 year olds know and understand the term - which I certainly wouldn't have at their age.

DelphiniumBlue · 04/12/2025 22:21

This term is about 12 weeks long. If a certificate is given at the end of each week, that's 12 children who will have received a certificate. If he's moping about this, don't encourage it. It's trivial and more than half the class won't have received a certificate yet.
As for the nativity, I'd be surprised if everyone else had more words. Most parts in the nativity are non-speaking, eg sheep and shepherds and angels, and of course Mary.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:22

FunMustard · 04/12/2025 22:16

No, I think you should be bigging your son up for his amazing two words.

Sure mention the certificate though. Did your 6 year old really say "I've shown perseverance!"?

He probably did if they keep rewarding them and telling them that's why they got it.

I would raise it op, but don't go in guns blazing as sometimes children don't have the facts right: there might be only three people with more lines than him for instance, in which case you will look like Attila the Mum.

If you don't advocate for him, no-one else will.

You don't want to be the pushy mum but there is a balance if you don't want your dc always pushed to the bottom of the pile. Those nursery certificates get handed out in order of the pushiest to least pushiest mums!

Cherrysherbet · 04/12/2025 22:23

You should say something op. In my experience, teachers over look some of the children in favour of others. It happens all the time (usually to the same kids)
He feels like this for a good reason. Don’t worry about being ‘that parent’. Advocate for your Son op.

CommentHere · 04/12/2025 22:24

Your son might be right but it's not often a six year old is right when they say they are the "only one" or "everyone else has xyz except me" Let the nativity go and encourage him to say his two words nice and loud and clear.

What is the certificate for? That could well come his way later in the year.

To the person who said someone was a tree in a play: I was a wall. Seriously, a wall!!

Kirbert2 · 04/12/2025 22:24

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 22:21

That's quite likely if it's one of the school values (or whatever terminology the school uses).

One of our school values is resilience so a lot of 6 year olds know and understand the term - which I certainly wouldn't have at their age.

Show quote history

I was going to say, all of the children at my sons school, even the youngest ones know the word resilience because it is one of the school values and they hear it all of the time.

FracasFracas · 04/12/2025 22:26

My son was Joseph in Reception and wanted to be a shepherd. Then he was a sheep in Year 1, and was incandescent with rage because he was ‘the wrong sheep’.

MarxistMags · 04/12/2025 22:26

My grandson was delighted to have a part wearing the tea towel ! 😄

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 04/12/2025 22:27

I think lots of kids want bigger parts in the nativity every year but such is life we can't always get what we want. He'll have potentially another few years of nativity performances ahead of him so perhaps he can have a bigger parts next time.

I don't think they can rewrite your son's part or give him more words without potentially creating havoc with all the other kids in the nativity. Like a PP suggested I'd be bigging up his two words until they are almost Olivier standard 😁.

ETA if it helps I was Mary but spent the entire thing sporting a bitchy resting face because I was super pissed that Joseph got all the lines.

MarxistMags · 04/12/2025 22:27

Aw, bless him.

Kettledodger · 04/12/2025 22:28

From the dawn of time the “middle of the road” children are often overlooked imo. Not saying that it’s right but just saying that it has always been thus and those of us that have children that just get on with things need us to be their advocates.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:29

FracasFracas · 04/12/2025 22:26

My son was Joseph in Reception and wanted to be a shepherd. Then he was a sheep in Year 1, and was incandescent with rage because he was ‘the wrong sheep’.

That's so cute!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:30

I have seen a nativity with a dog who had no lines and and had to crawl.

Yaffly · 04/12/2025 22:34

Mary in my son's Nativity wanted to be a donkey but got landed with the role of Mary. She forgot baby Jesus when they were leaving the stable, I think in protest.

Londonrach1 · 04/12/2025 22:34

Saying two words is amazing. Most rules have no words. Manage your child expectation here. He done so well to get two words and you coming to see and here him. He speaks his tro words clearly and looks into the audience. Even if he doesn't tell him how amazing he is.

Florally · 04/12/2025 22:35

I've watched my child in a nativity where she didn’t even get on the stage and was sitting on a bench in a donkey onesie, hood up, without moving for the whole thing. That was her part.

The following year she made it onto the back of the stage and didn’t have any lines but stood there beaming!

Any lines I think is a generous situation! Enjoy them OP and just make sure he knows you think his role is awesome. That’s all he needs.

Eenameenadeeka · 04/12/2025 22:36

I think there's a lot of children who don't get any lines at all, id reassure him rather than complaining.

fairislecable · 04/12/2025 22:41

When I asked my DGD why she was never picked as Star of the Week she said ‘ It’s only for the naughty kids to encourage them to behave’!

On that reasoning he should be relieved NOT to have a certificate.

Smugzebra · 04/12/2025 22:41

Id feel sad too but unfortunately that's life.
Yeah I'd just make a big deal of those 2 lines.

As a parent of a kid who could never even be in the play because of various SEN issues having 2 lines would have been a major celebration. There will DEFINITELY be other kids with no lines or even not in the play at all.

Also do people ACTUALLY go in to school to complain about this type of thing?

He will get his turn for the certificate they always do. I remember having this conversation with my kids. They always got one in the end. Just have to be patient and it'll feel amazing when they finally win one.

Can't imagine going in and saying my kid has been whingeing about not getting star of the week or whatever it is. Then they're only getting it cos you've complained so it's absolutely meaningless....

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