Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Please learn to spell Edinburgh… it’s not even pronounced borough

They did say it was completely different over in the states.

This, why are parents SO scared of their kids these days?

FFS I am well off, in a well-off area, and I wouldn’t dream of spending £6500 on a school trip. That would be a special family holiday saved up for over a year or two.

My children were offered this trip. I have rather strong views about such trips, which my children know. It's far too expensive, I'm from that part of the world, for that price, we'd be travelling to see family. I also do not agree with fund-raising for a 'holiday', why should anyone pay for someone else's child to have an expensive holiday? I cannot see how this helps the locals there, sorry, that concept comes across to me as white supremacy. (I can afford this, but finds it ridiculous and disgusting, that I will never pay for it.)

Glad to see you’re not going along with the trip. My kids secondary had a company that was backed by the LEA pitch an expensive ski holiday. Whole thing collapsed just before they went as someone was creaming off money, lots of parents left out of pocket. Fortunately I’d looked at it and said no chance we’d spend that much on a holiday for just one family member.

Its not about being scared, its about poverty guilt.

Its about always having to say no.

Because there simply isnt a possibility it can work. My ex, who was a cunt in every conceivable way to me, will make sure that our shared DD goes on every single trip that school offers, because he remembers his mum (single as his dad left for his latest OW, ironically) having to say no to everything. He understood that she couldnt afford it, but didnt want that for DD.

I hate that I cant seriously consider anything because however good/bad an opportunity is, I know I cant afford it. Its guilt, plain and simple.

We had these types of trip when I was at school (I'm 33 for context) and back then yes, the kids fundraised but parents were expected to fund the shortfall. I was also at the local comprehensive, these trips aren't new but it seems the prices have skyrocketed.

My friends daughter did a similar trip but it was for just over 2 weeks at a cost of about £4k.
Impressively she covered almost the full cost of the trip by fundraising.

This. That kind of money could get the whole family a lovely holiday.

And then there’s the siblings who will feel hard done by when there’s no money when it’s their turn for the same sort of trip.

We will earn equivalent of just under £200000 collectively this year and would never pay for thisthis. That's 3 years of ferry and 2 years of accommodation for a summer holiday for our family of 4. Ridiculous cost.

That is a family holiday. We are comfortable enough and have a good amount of savings and I would not pay that amount for a school trip. We are taking our 13 year old travelling around Vietnam in April for 3 weeks and that is probably similar price but for the 3 of us. Don’t be hard on yourself at all.x

Granted I've never had a holiday abroad but from what I've heard about the cost of going I'm sure you could get your full family there for that amount

Even in a middle income area, trying to raise £300 month after month would be really hard.

People might buy your cakes the first time to help out, the second time the same, 3rd time unless they are awesome probably not.

Same with sponsors, you might get a sponsor for a hill climb, but they probably won't sponsor you a second time.

My school offered a similar thing, but to Kenya. It was 20 years ago and £3,500, so probably closer to £5000 now in terms of inflation. It was sold to us (students) as something to put on UCAS forms and CVs, as it wasn't so much a holiday as volunteering with a few day trips thrown in. Same sort of idea as well with the fundraising part of it. I remember being really upset with my parents at the time that they wouldn't let me go (they could afford it, but refused to pay that much money when they could have two or more family holidays for that price). Anyway, my mood lasted about a month and then I got over it. Now as a parent to teenagers myself, there's absolutely no way I could afford any sort of school trip like that and even if I could, I just couldn't part with that much money! There will be other (more affordable) opportunities once they are working themselves!
Also, a lot of my friends that were going became insufferable for the months leading up to the trip as they were constantly talking about or going to fundraising events. Funnily enough, none of them seemed to have the experience of a lifetime they were promised, just a very sweaty summer of hard work and uncomfortable sleeping!

These are scam at the expenses of students. The fact they are invited to raise funding to cover for this luxury is outrageous. If you google it there are a lot of anger towards these trips and that kids of friends are bullying people to give them money to fund raise for a very expense holiday. I would look for these posts and let her read them. They are making money businesses advertising to kids who get excited and it seems legit as it is through school. Schools should know better and they should be banned.

Agreed. This is key. Bad for baby orangutans and people. They are wild animals and can attack, and cuddling makes the babies stressed.

That's way too expensive, it's ridiculous. Maybe suggest to your daughter that she could work and save for a year or so and go backpacking when she's older. Or what about camp America or Bunac? Or she could do a working holiday in Australia, New Zealand or Canada.

I've travelled all over the world but missed out Borneo. It's quite a dangerous country with pouching and drugs.

I mean, I wouldn’t even have SHOWN my mother that letter when I was 14. I’d have ripped it up and thrown it away unseen. I knew her financial circumstances and even as a selfish, thoughtless kid, wouldn’t have expected her to impoverish herself still further so I could do hug orangutans.

That can't be right. Before the school holidays flights to Singapore will be £500 return for a child, Air Asia to Borneo is £50 each way. Borneo isn't dirt cheap but it's not expensive, and a large group will make trips economical. What on Earth are they doing out there? Are they raising funds for a charity out there or something as I can't think 4 weeks would need to cost more than £2k.

TBH Borneo is cool for a week the wild life is certainly great - although you certainly don't get close enough to Orangutans to cuddle them - but 4 weeks is a long time unless they are building a school or something.

That's ridiculous! I tell the daughter it's not going to happen and there are likely more parents who will not have the money to let a child go! That's half a car! Or holiday for a family! Then I'd speak to the school head that what they have done is in the wrong order! Parents should have e been asked and then a decision made. Finally tell the head it's out of most families budgets and to get a census of opinion from parents , on. or, off!

50% of the cost is profit for the company running this trip. The other 50% pays for all the costs, including paying for the teachers accompanying the trip. So probably 35% is the actual cost of the trip for your child. £2,275.

Will the teacher (s) get their 4 week holiday to Borneo part or all funded?

My son’s school offered us one of these external provider educational trips to India at a cost of over £1500 plus other expenses. Sounded great but with him being neurodiverse and rarely stayed away from home I wondered if he’d cope. We couldn’t afford, school said they’d help with fundraising but honestly he has no initiative or interest in engaging with other people. They had to do an application form but he struggled to do it and gave up, because he thought we’d said no even though we’d said he needed to prove he would do the hard work. TBH I felt guilty at the time as some of his friends are going, but months on he’s not mentioned it and I don’t think he would have made the effort, and I wouldn’t have been comfortable him going across the world without us (he’s never been on a plane either). He’s doing Duke of Edinburgh award now which I’m fully supportive of so it’s not like we say no to everything

They're doing a very similar trip at my DCs school. I know the parents of a fair number of the kids who are going. There's only a very small group of them- ten to a dozen at the very most, so most children in the school are not going (1500+). Don't feel bad your DD isn't going: most are not.

The parents of the ones who are going are cooking so many cakes and fudge and biscuits and trying to flog them to all comers that I'm surprised they have time for anything else.

Fortunately, my kids didn't want to go. I, on the other hand, am spittingly jealous. Id give my right arm for the chance.