Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

@InMyOodie They do sponsored walks, packing groceries for the elderly, clean cars etc. Many parents do 50:50. This is too much for most families though and one does think the school school should have gauged interest with parents first.

I did one of these, it changed the course of my life.

That’s ridiculous - my husband and so are both teachers so reasonably comfortable and there is no way I would pay this so I wouldn’t worry about her being left out. Even my really well off friends wouldn’t pay this on a school trip.

I haven’t read all the comments but just sharing my own experience of something similar in case it helps.

I did do something like this at school with World Challenge. Standard comp but fairly afluent area in south west. We were a mixed group across 3 school years. 30 students total from yrs 11,12 and 13 by the time the trip took place so a very small percentage went. We each paid £3300 for 4 weeks in Cambodia and then Thailand (in 2006) but the vast majority funded it themselves. Some busking/ saturday jobs etc. We had almost 2 years to get the money together. I worked in a shop and then a care assistant on the weekend. My parents didn’t pay anything toward the fare but they did buy me a rucksack and some kit.

Its the only proper backpacking I’ve ever done and it was a wonderful once in a lifetime opportunity so I’m grateful that I did it, but at the same time I took on too much other stuff while I was doing my A levels and that may have contributed to me not getting quite as good results as I otherwise would have done.

Many of the group I went with then gained the confidence to do lots of backpacking after school and it is nice to do your first backpacking an gain independence in a supported way.

If I were you I would be very upfront about how much (or little you would be willing or able) to contribute and what other things it would mean she would have to give up to do it (both days every weekend working or fundraising?)

That’s exploitative!

Why is a public body- state run education, allowing a private company to exploit a captive audience.

Id be complaining to the schools governing body and the head.

We have a joint income of over 100k and there’s no way I’d ever consider it an option.

Also if asked, I’d politely decline to pay for another’s holiday through ‘fundraising’.

I did D of E bronze. Still remember it fondly, many years later. It was free.

There are plenty of us teachers who don't agree with these trips either!

Firstly, I think it is totally wrong to dangle an opportunity like this in front of children when you know full well many will not be able to afford to go. It puts parents in an awful position and it really is unethical.

Secondly, I fundamentally disagree with voluntourism. While there will be some children for whom these experiences and exposure to true poverty will be life changing, I don't think it is the responsibility of people living in poverty to be used as an opportunity to teach white western children empathy. In my view, all school trips should be strictly curriculum based, with a hardship fund to support those children who want to go but can't.

Extracurricular trips to exotic locations that cost these amounts are - and I say this as a teacher - often down to the organising teacher wanting a free trip to wherever it is. My school did a two week trip to work with children in Vietnam last year (of which 2 days was volunteering, and the rest a very nice holiday), and the in-fighting over who got to go was quite something. Going on a school trip is always hard work, of course, but getting to go to a lovely and far-flung destination that would cost you £££ if you went off your own steam does sweeten the pill quite considerably, and pretending otherwise is very disingenuous.

That is a truly ridiculous amount of money for a school trip.

And who are the 5% of lunatics who think you are being unreasonable?

I'd find a new school. The teachers and headmaster are obviously morons.

No way, not a chance.
The School is taking the piss. I'd imagine that a lot of families couldn't afford the trip.

of which 2 days was volunteering, and the rest a very nice holiday

In fighting or not, the teachers are never ever ever on holiday. They are working 24/7.

That's more than I spent for ten days all inclusive for a family of five. It would be a hard no from me I'm afraid. Not that I can imagine my kid's school offering something so outrageous.

Hi there,

My daughter had the option of one of these trips.

The idea is that it is sponsored as you say and not for you to dip your hand in. My daughter decided against the £4000 cost of her trip as she didn’t think she would raise the money however some people did manage it and the parents didn’t need to make any contribution

Stop and think that through.

What makes you think, your teen was more capable of building a school in Peru than local teens already in Peru.

Do you think your teen would be capable of helping build a school in the UK?

A UK building site wouldn't want untrained teens partly because of H&S and insurance reasons.
Do we honestly think building sites in Peru would be safer than sites here. On average people are killed every other week on UK constructions sites.

Yeah, I used to do those shoeboxes, the school a friend taught in was a collection point & we both fell for the "gifts for refugee children" schtick. It was a few years before we learned of SP's shady antics.
There are plenty of ways for the little darlings to get their warm & fuzzies without enabling SP, Crisis & Action for Children both run annual appeals & every city has local gift projects.
For adults who want to do good at Christmas beyond bunging some cash in a collection box, giving blood/ plasma is vitally important during the festive season.

How about what one of my dds did - took a gap year, worked (as in 9-5, getting up every morning, turning up on time) for 6 months, saved, funded a 6 week trip to Latin America herself.

Ridiculous for the school to expect the average parents to afford it, with people struggling with the col which planet are they on or it is the teacher who fancy of trip to Borneo l.

I wasn't referring to the role of the teachers being a holiday. I was referring to the trip being touted as volunteering when only 2 days of it was volunteering. The rest was a holiday - for the children.

I know the teachers aren't on holiday. when they're on a trip. I've been one for 15 years and done many a trip abroad. It is exhausting and I didn't say anything otherwise. I do wish people on mumsnet had better reading comprehension!

However, I freely acknowledge that I've got to visit plenty of places I'd never have been otherwise thanks to taking students on trips, and I am grateful for that opportunity. There is a big difference between staying in a youth hostel in Wales for a week and getting to visit the Taj Mahal and tea plantations in India for free, after all - even if you have 30 kids in tow!

I live in a low income, deprived area and our local comp planned a skiing trip to the US. So no jungle trekking, no learning about other cultures (apart from the well heeled and no sham volunteering). Most parents couldn't afford it, so in the end staff and their chums made up the numbers. It ended in disaster but this isn't the place to discuss that. My DCs had already left but had they not, I'd have been having strong words with the head and governors.

I wasn't referring to the role of the teachers being a holiday. I was referring to the trip being touted as volunteering when only 2 days of it was volunteering. The rest was a holiday - for the children

I see. That isn't what you said, so hence my post.

That is an insane amount of money for a school trip/experience. And 4 weeks away from home. I definitely would write to the Head, the governors and local department of education. How horrid to put parents and then disappointed teens in this position. I’m sorry OP.

Oh nice! They offer to the kids so they are the nice ones and you can’t pay so you are the mean one.

yeap. Write a complaint.

So you're saying no without even attempting to fundraise? When is the payment due?There's so many ways to raise money, if she gets a weekend job she could put away £2,500 in the 18 months. Ask people to sponsor, do bake sale at work, start a tiktok trying to raise the money, sponsors from family and friends, her christmas and birthday money,
So many options that I'd be at least trying before giving up.

I agree. Completely tone deaf of the school.

Please don't beat yourself up as the very vast majority of teenagers will not do anything remotely like this in their teens, even those from much more affluent families.

We're relatively higher earners and the most mine have ever done as a school trip was a 3 day trip to London. The most any of their friends did was a Spanish language trip (easyJet flights and youth hostel set up... Maybe £5-600).

Only a handful of kids ever went on the trips abroad, it certainly wasn't most.

I doubt many kids will be going xx

If she's that age then she's old enough to learn a few hard facts about life, like your finances, how much she can make from a Saturday job. How trips like that are what people save up a lifetime for.
Stop keeping your kids in the dark. Let them in on your budgeting and food planning and shopping because those life skills are essential.

When I was a kid I never asked my parents for a penny because I knew they couldn't afford anything.