AIBU - to say Christmas Dinner is not the meal to go wild on flavours?

[StacksOfSnacks]

TLDR
My sister has just dropped that she is doing an ‘elevated’ Christmas dinner. Can I politely ask her to keep it simple?

Long Version
My sister and I share a love of food and cooking, we enjoy food and flavours from an array of cultures and will often do dinners composed of a spread of small plates - this is to say that I’m not typically unadventurous or fussy.

We are spending Christmas at hers this year, as we have previously, and were expecting her absolutely delicious yet conventional Christmas dinner. However, she has just excitedly shared what she plans to cook and I’ve been knocked for six. I have no doubts that she has the skills to execute it, and that each element will be delicious, but it seems a bit to busy to have all on one plate, I’m not sure they will mingle well together. And I just love a traditional Christmas dinner and think that it should be left to be simple and tasty, this just won’t feel like Christmas dinner to me. I will put her intended menu below.

I know she’s the host and should cook whatever she wants, and I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but I feel this has been dropped on me. I know she would reject me offering to bring a dish or two. We’ve each said many times that having people bring a dish to an occasion like Christmas is more hassle than it’s worth. It’s too late to make alternative plans for Christmas without it being a ‘thing’. I’m a bit gutted, can I say something? If so how?

• Ballotine Porchetta Turkey
• Nam Prik Pao Smoked Prime Rib
• Rosemary Bonito Gravy
• Fried Sprouts + Cheese Foam + Preserved Lemon + Pistachio Relish
• Honey Gochujang Carrots
• Truffle Cauliflower Cheese
• Marmite Roasted Garlic and Parmesan Roasties
• Parsnip and pecorino stuffing
• Sticky Pomegranate Pigs in Blankets
• Champagne Cranberry Sauce
• Hazelnut and Nutmeg Bread Sauce
• Yorkshire Puddings

This. Why would you want fish and rosemary gravy for turkey? Or at all really?

Far too many different flavours and combinations.
But I would want the traditional Christmas dinner only for Christmas Day. Then leftovers for Boxing Day.

Just googled the gravy and found this https://www.joshuaweissman.com/recipes/my-ideal-thanksgiving-dinner
which gives the recipes for a lot of it.

I feel that there's a sort of umami, truffley faction in this meal and a hot/sour Asian faction and I'm not sure how well that will work but I suspect a lot of it is more about having slightly wanky descriptions for perfectly normal things- I suspect that a lot of the elements will seem unremarkable (cranberry, bread sauce, gravy, pigs etc) when you actually come to eat them with the added flavours just being in the background, and the main thing the recipes are doing is making things sound complicated and cheffy. I could describe my cranberry sauce as "cranberry, orange, port, brown sugar and clove sauce with an infusion of cinnamon" but I don't- it's just cranberry sauce and those are the ingredients I use to make cranberry sauce, they don't need listing out for everyone else.

Anyway, I wouldn't say anything- her meal her choice, and it will probably be absolutely fine.

FWIW my view is that at least one or two things on the plate should be very simple- some simple steamed broccoli, say- as a contrast to the richness of the other dishes. But that's just a personal opinion.

It sounds lovely, but I agree, the simplicity of a Christmas dinner is what works.

Champagne cranberry sauce is a champagne-offense. Maybe it means cranberry sauce (cranberries and sugar), with a glass of champagne while you are watching the cranberries pop?

I would save the fancy ingredients for canapes. Maybe have one elevated side.

Pretty sure she uses the recipe that ex-bakeoff contestant Ruby Bhogal shared on instagram. They are good, we have had had them before!

Dessert is my job!!!

Chestnut Bûche de Noël
Pomegranate & Campari Granita
Matcha Basque Cheesecake

These are all really solid chefs to take inspiration from and I would be very heartened!

I think a lot of the negative reactions on this thread are a bit overblown. Ultimately it's fun to have fun with flavour and I bet the majority of those will be delicious.

Those honey and gochujang carrots need to be balanced really carefully though (and kept on the other side of the plate, or preferably on a different plate, to the truffle cauliflower).

I would go and enjoy it but make my own Xmas dinner at some point between Xmas and new year

I really like the look of the parsnip stuffing. Just googled the recipe. Everything together would be overkill but a couple of fancy sides is nice.

That's where OPs sister got her menu from!

No, you don’t mess with Christmas. It’s an awful lot of flavours?! I’m no chef, so who knows.

Christmas Dinner is literally the most boring meal that exists. Oh look, some meat and potatoes mmmm so festive and special 🤣

Just enjoy the lovely meal and all her hard work!

Me too! I was reading it thinking most of it sounded rather delicious, even if I might have to have one plate with some items and then go back for a second plate with different combos!

Truffle cauli cheese sounds amazing!!

Sounds delicious. Can I go instead of you?

Well that's more of a problem than the dinner. Where is the Christmas pud?

I'm a hater of dried fruit based desserts - mince pies, Christmas pudding, fruit cake... it's a no from me.

But I'm told my sisters MIL makes a brilliant Christmas cake and will be bringing that along with the cheeseboard.

I would eat the hell out of all three of these as well. The granita seems counter-intuitive for winter but I'm guessing it will prove to be an inspired, refreshing dessert after the main meal...

Each thing sounds delicious but it’s too many flavours at the same time. It sounds like they should be put together in careful combinations of two or three items at a time like a tasting menu.

but if she wants to do it this year and she’s hosting, it’s up to her. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely meal.

Here is ChatGPT's assessment:

This menu is seriously impressive — creative, cohesive, and indulgent without feeling gimmicky. It reads like a modern, cheffy take on a festive roast with lots of Southeast Asian and umami-driven twists. Here’s a quick breakdown of how it lands:
⭐ Standout strengths
1. Big flavors but balanced:

• Nam Prik Pao with smoked prime rib is inspired — sweet heat + smoke + fat works beautifully.
• Marmite roasted garlic & parmesan roasties is bold but smart: deep umami without overwhelming if executed well.
• Honey gochujang carrots adds brightness and glow to offset the heavier dishes.

2. Excellent textural variety:

• Crispy sprouts with cheese foam and pistachio relish — crunchy, soft, creamy, fresh.
• Sticky pigs in blankets + fluffy Yorkshire puddings + crackling from the porchetta turkey ballotine = great contrast.

3. The sauces are thoughtful:

• Rosemary bonito gravy? Fantastic. The bonito adds a savory note without screaming “fish.”
• Champagne cranberry + hazelnut/nutmeg bread sauce give acidity and warmth to counter all the richness.

⚖️ Things to keep an eye on 1. Umami overload risk: There’s Marmite, parmesan, bonito, truffle, porchetta, smoked beef… it’s gorgeous, but you may want one or two “cleaner,” simpler dishes to reset the palate. 2. Ingredient complexity: Some items are multi-component (sprouts especially). Make sure the day-of prep is manageable. 3. Flavor cohesion: The menu leans Italian, Thai, Korean, British, and modern European all at once — it works because everything is anchored in roasted meats and classic holiday formats, but balance plating so the Asian-flavored items don’t all end up on one side of the plate. ⭐ Overall verdict It’s luxurious, clever, and restaurant-level. This is the kind of menu that makes people stop mid-bite and go, “Wait… what is this? It’s amazing.” If you'd like, I can help refine it, pair it with wines/cocktails, or suggest plating sequences and prep scheduling.

Easy for ChatGPT to say, it hasn’t got a stomach. Fishy gravy 🥴🤢🤮

No high quality chef would put all those together though. She’s read a cookery book and is cooking all of it. It’s not considered or balanced. It’s not planned with complimentary flavours. It’s just trying to look flash without understanding food and flavours. I agree with others: pick the least over the top dishes and have seconds of the others one at a time. All together - no!

Far too many different flavours… 2-4 from the list, yes, plus plainer versions of some of the rest.

But it’s her gig and you need to keep your oar out.

Bring some great wine(s). And smile, eat, eat some more, and thank her profusely.

It's not a traditional Christmas dinner though - and that's what you're complaining about in your opening post.

That sounds amazing...

But it doesn't sound like a meal designed to eat in a British way.

Here where I live (Not the U.K.) people would love that, but we would eat it all seperately, dishes in the middle.. small bowls each.. and then you would just dip in to bits that you want individually. In this eating style, every dish having its own unique/strong flavour works well.

But, I know 100% what you mean. In the UK style of eating, where you combine it all on to one plate, and it all gets mixed together with sauces etc. Then that does seem far to many flavours to have all together.

If it were me, I wouldn't complain though - because it sounds great! I would just be prepared to basically eat each part separately and not think of it like "one british plate of food"

If you don't like the menu just don't go? Your matcha basque cheesecake hardly screams traditional Christmas dessert.