AIBU - to say Christmas Dinner is not the meal to go wild on flavours?

[StacksOfSnacks]

TLDR
My sister has just dropped that she is doing an ‘elevated’ Christmas dinner. Can I politely ask her to keep it simple?

Long Version
My sister and I share a love of food and cooking, we enjoy food and flavours from an array of cultures and will often do dinners composed of a spread of small plates - this is to say that I’m not typically unadventurous or fussy.

We are spending Christmas at hers this year, as we have previously, and were expecting her absolutely delicious yet conventional Christmas dinner. However, she has just excitedly shared what she plans to cook and I’ve been knocked for six. I have no doubts that she has the skills to execute it, and that each element will be delicious, but it seems a bit to busy to have all on one plate, I’m not sure they will mingle well together. And I just love a traditional Christmas dinner and think that it should be left to be simple and tasty, this just won’t feel like Christmas dinner to me. I will put her intended menu below.

I know she’s the host and should cook whatever she wants, and I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but I feel this has been dropped on me. I know she would reject me offering to bring a dish or two. We’ve each said many times that having people bring a dish to an occasion like Christmas is more hassle than it’s worth. It’s too late to make alternative plans for Christmas without it being a ‘thing’. I’m a bit gutted, can I say something? If so how?

• Ballotine Porchetta Turkey
• Nam Prik Pao Smoked Prime Rib
• Rosemary Bonito Gravy
• Fried Sprouts + Cheese Foam + Preserved Lemon + Pistachio Relish
• Honey Gochujang Carrots
• Truffle Cauliflower Cheese
• Marmite Roasted Garlic and Parmesan Roasties
• Parsnip and pecorino stuffing
• Sticky Pomegranate Pigs in Blankets
• Champagne Cranberry Sauce
• Hazelnut and Nutmeg Bread Sauce
• Yorkshire Puddings

Yabu. If she can be bothered to do all that, that’s her choice as host.
You could do your preferred option eg for New Years Eve/Day.
Plus it’s one meal on one day. Be thankful you’ve got something planned! Better than nowt.

It sounds fantastic and I'd be excited to be served that

If she’s your sister, why can’t you just be honest with her? Just say, ‘’OMG, Jane, they sound delicious individually but they won’t go together as one meal and it sounds too chaotic. I prefer traditional Christmas dinner, can we stick to it?’’

If she questions it, you can suggest she either compromises and does some of the posh bits but not all of them, or she cooks her fancy foods for Boxing Day buffet style to enjoy them individually.

Seems easy enough to me. I’m sure she wouldn’t want her guests not to enjoy their food!

No-one who actually likes food would cook that mess.

Don't be ridiculous.

You jumped the shark with rosemary and bonito.

Only a lunatic would pair them.

When did we start advocating for guests to be so rude? Stay at hone and make your own dinner, stop being so bloody ungrateful.

Rosemary Bonito Gravy sounds disgusting. It's made with bonito FLAKES; just saying. Plus if you survive all this you definitely should get the Supah Chill Caesar and the Bourbon Pecan Pie!

shes listed every main element of the roast and put a twist on it. I’m an adventurous eater, everything sounds lovely … individually or maybe a few together, but not all heaped in together. I’d eat it if she’s likely to have already shopped and then do your own Xmas dinner for New Year’s Day so you don’t miss out. Although unfortunately it’s extra effort…. Or just communicate honestly and say that sounds yum but a traditional Xmas dinner is just lovely, I prefer it …

100% DON’T say anything. She’s hosting - it’s up to her! Nothing to stop you cooking a fab Christmas dinner on any other day.

The ghost of my missing gallbladder yelped at me reading that. Yikes.

I'd be excited. But then I think the trad Xmas dinner is an utter bore and the exact thing to go wild trying to jazz up.

I can't imagine everything working... or working together... and I'm particularly sceptical about the sprouts/cheese/preserved lemon/pistachio combo (WHICH cheese will allegedly be involved in this? I pray that it's feta). But a lot of the twists do sound interesting, I assume a lot of the wacky headline ingredients will be more like backing notes (as usual) and honestly if someone's cooking for me, especially an entire banquet like that, the only thing I'm saying out loud is "thank you". If something falls flat just don't eat it!

• Truffle Cauliflower Cheese
• Marmite Roasted Garlic and Parmesan Roasties
• Parsnip and pecorino stuffing
• Sticky Pomegranate Pigs in Blankets
• Hazelnut and Nutmeg Bread Sauce

I would eat the hell out of those things, at least.

It’s too much. However, as the guest you have to remain supportive and silent on the menu choices. Sorry!

You’re “gutted” that a meal of things you acknowledge will be delicious and well cooked is being made for you by someone who is spending a lot of time and effort to host?

As a guest, the only correct response is "thank you. That was delicious"

Marmite roasties sound ace.

Christmas dinner can be dull. So a bit of a change up, especially if someone else is cooking, I’d be delighted.

Christmas dinner is just a roast dinner with a few change outs. She’s hosting and cooking, so maybe don’t tell her what to cook? Just say thank you, and try it?
My god, nothing bad will happen if your roasties are flavoured with marmite instead of rosemary 🤦‍♀️

This is what I think too - most of those things are just going go be extra heavily described, rather than particularly oddly flavoured. Like when you buy fancy “red West Country extra mature cheddar and french shallot with Italian balsamic thick cut crisps” and they’re just cheese and onion.

I honestly think it’s mostly going to taste just v nice, there might be the odd dish where the extra piece is too intrusive (am thinking maybe the truffle cauli?) but I bet it will mostly taste not too far from the norm.

This! It is why Xmas can be awful, everyone bringing their own expectations instead of being open and grateful.

I often get cooked for at Xmas. It isn’t as nice/to my taste as I’d make it (I would be so happy to have a cook like your sister in the family!). I focus on connecting with my relatives, enjoy the parts I like, contribute nice wine and appreciate the warmth and the full belly.

I think I would go and enjoy it - and maybe do my own Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve?

For me, Christmas dinner is about good quality, simple food cooked really well. So it doesn't - and shouldn't - go all fancy.
But you're the guest so it'd be rude to say anything...

That does sound a bit much. Is she happy to spend her entire xmas day cooking? Maybe gently suggest it might be a bit much if she wants to spend time outside the kitchen. Otherwise you'll have to smile and say its delicious. And then host it yourself next year.

well she knows how you feel now, because if this post isn't outing I don't know what is. Sounds marginally revolting - too much - and I love strong flavours and asian food

I might nick some of these for mine! Not all of them though 😂

I admire her pushing the boat out, but some of these are just weird and the flavours don’t compliment each other so why would an experienced cook even do this? Tuna and Rosemary gravy? Am I reading that right or is there another Bonito that I’ve never heard of?

edited to add, I would eat all the Italian type stuff and miss out the rogue Asian dishes I think.