AIBU - to say Christmas Dinner is not the meal to go wild on flavours?

[StacksOfSnacks]

TLDR
My sister has just dropped that she is doing an ‘elevated’ Christmas dinner. Can I politely ask her to keep it simple?

Long Version
My sister and I share a love of food and cooking, we enjoy food and flavours from an array of cultures and will often do dinners composed of a spread of small plates - this is to say that I’m not typically unadventurous or fussy.

We are spending Christmas at hers this year, as we have previously, and were expecting her absolutely delicious yet conventional Christmas dinner. However, she has just excitedly shared what she plans to cook and I’ve been knocked for six. I have no doubts that she has the skills to execute it, and that each element will be delicious, but it seems a bit to busy to have all on one plate, I’m not sure they will mingle well together. And I just love a traditional Christmas dinner and think that it should be left to be simple and tasty, this just won’t feel like Christmas dinner to me. I will put her intended menu below.

I know she’s the host and should cook whatever she wants, and I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but I feel this has been dropped on me. I know she would reject me offering to bring a dish or two. We’ve each said many times that having people bring a dish to an occasion like Christmas is more hassle than it’s worth. It’s too late to make alternative plans for Christmas without it being a ‘thing’. I’m a bit gutted, can I say something? If so how?

• Ballotine Porchetta Turkey
• Nam Prik Pao Smoked Prime Rib
• Rosemary Bonito Gravy
• Fried Sprouts + Cheese Foam + Preserved Lemon + Pistachio Relish
• Honey Gochujang Carrots
• Truffle Cauliflower Cheese
• Marmite Roasted Garlic and Parmesan Roasties
• Parsnip and pecorino stuffing
• Sticky Pomegranate Pigs in Blankets
• Champagne Cranberry Sauce
• Hazelnut and Nutmeg Bread Sauce
• Yorkshire Puddings

Sounds diabolical. I've never even heard of half of it.

Disappointing she didn't manage to find a way to "elevate" the Yorkshire puddings 😂

Op I feel your pain. It made me feel queasy just reading that list, I still don’t think you can say anything. It’s rude, as it’s her Christmas extravaganza.

Just order a turkey and have your Christmas lunch on Christmas Eve and be open to a new culinary experience - you might be pleasantly surprised. I wouldn’t be eating anything for breakfast in preparation…. And have lots of water rather than wine…

I hate truffle, the smell makes me gag. So I’d be politely declining the invitation.
It really doesn’t sound like a nice combination all round.

She’s obviously going to lot of effort to cook for you. If you don’t want to eat it, don’t go! But does it really matter? Can’t you make a “traditional” version yourself the day before or the day after and just go and enjoy her company?

I mean it could work, but there's Lots of competing flavours there...

Lots of use of cheese...!

I think it sounds amazing. Nothing there is particularly outrageous for a roast. If it was a curried turkey I'd see your point but these are flavours that will compliment the traditional food.

Sounds delicious. She's the host, she gets to cook what she wants.

I agree with you that I wouldn’t fancy those dishes for Christmas dinner, especially not all served together. But as she’s hosting I don’t think you can say anything.

Out of interest are there any children or people who have more simple tastes coming to Christmas Dinner? I’d eat all the veggie food from there happily (though maybe not on one plate) but as a child I’d have struggled. If there are guests with more simple palettes you could point out that Uncle Bill or little Elsie might struggle and while it sounds amazing to you, having a few plainer dishes might make it work for everyone.

It sounds quite overpowering when written down, but I bet it’ll be delicious.

I grew up with a mum who would simply boil vegetables with a roast, even the Christmas one. No pancetta and chestnuts roasted with the sprouts, no maple syrup or honey with the parsnips etc. It was all bland.

PS - I’d like to ban the word ‘roasties’ on here. As you were.

Yep, and went higher with sprouts, cheese and preserved lemon.

Pomegranate pigs, parsnip stuffing - both Ottolenghi

Marmite roasties - Ruby Bhogal

Cauliflower cheese, bread sauce - I believe she uses Felicity Cloake as her base recipe and adapts from there

It will be fabulous! Your sister is a fun person.

It will not spoil the togetherness. It will end up as One Big Fail where everyone is gagging and laughing .. or one room full of very impressed diners eating delicious surprises.
You have to support your sister.
Ask her which drinks to bring to accompany her flavours?

It will create memories. The outcome will dictate whether she does it again.

It would be so sad for her to cook the old roast when, all along, she has been dreaming up variations.

@StacksOfSnacks The list of food made me laugh! What a pretentious load of bollocks! She’s no idea about flavour combinations at all. It’s just a list of individual dishes pushed together and NO decent chef would serve this up.

Rosemary goes with lamb. Who wants it in gravy with beef? Or turkey for that matter? She’s making fairly standard vegetables and throwing in extra ingredients with no thought as to suitability. Who wants truffle and marmite on the same plate? Has she ever been to a Michelin starred restaurant? She needs to - she might learn something!

Eat it to be polite but not on the plate at the same time! The execution of some of this isn’t difficult by the way, it’s just stupid. Get your own lovely dinner at home and enjoy every flavour as it comes! (Although I do cook my carrots in butter with star anise - thanks Tom Kerridge!)

You should absolutely not go .... and give me her address and let me know what time we will be eating!

Seriously though, she is hosting, she can cook what the hell she likes - and so can you. So do yourself a traditional Christmas dinner another day. If her food doesn't grab you, so what? You have family and food, so be grateful for that and enjoy the whole occasion, take the emphasis off the food.

After that lot I’d definitely want to be back at my own home later that day for whatever joys that lot brings my digestive system!

OK. Having read everything that came in overnight it seems it would be quite rude for me to say anything. I agree that it seems silly to complain about her pulling out all the stops to put on a feast for us - it’s just that she could take a step back, do less work, and I would be happier. Her usual Christmas Dinner is wonderful. We are close, but I’m aware that I don’t want to bring her down when she is excited. To answer a few questions -

• She’s knows DH & I will eat everything there, so no poor hosting in that regard.
• Other guests are her teen children who will eat most of it, my little one who isn’t weaning yet. And 5 of her in laws - I’ve met them a couple of times but don’t know them well. DS is typically a good host so I don’t imagine she will serve a meal people can’t/won’t eat. I’m almost certain of no allergies or vegetarians anyway.
• She is a meticulous planner and thrives under pressure. I can already see her with her timings spreadsheet, figuring out what goes in what oven when... She is incredibly organised and will do as much as possible in the days before.
• Drinks will be wine - all the varieties! Red, white, sparking. Maybe a tot of port with puds.

My other concern is that she takes a great deal of pride in her cooking and hosting - and in fairness she is typically brilliant. I worry that she may be disappointed if this doesn’t go down as “the best roast ever”.

I love adventurous food and will happily eat anything that has been deliberately buried in sand, dug up wriggling and sold as extra fermented. My family compete to find the deepest food niche we can.

Those flavour combinations are an abomination though, sorry.

Boke!

I love a traditional Xmas dinner so I agree with don't mess with classic,BUT she's cooking and hosting and clearly enjoys doing it.
I would ask if theres gravy and cranberry sauce though and if not bring my own.
Whats for pudding?

How do you make marmite roasties?

Mix marmite into the oil, heat up and coat potatoes

I’m very much looking forward to my sage and onion paxo stuffing this year OP. I might even chop my carrots in to sticks instead of rounds if I’m feeling ‘fancy’. So as far as I’m concerned, yanbu.

As they say on MasterChef, there needs to be a point to all those flavours and they need to work together. There's too many elements on the plate that just don't work.

I'm adventurous and I don't mind adventurous for Christmas. The problem here isn't adventurous.

The problem is a try hard who doesn't know when to stop and reign it in and marry the flavours together. There's no harmony. It just doesn't sing.

Grace Dent would not approve and GreGg would be super rude and probably make a dodgy comment.

I think there are too many flavours that don’t go together - I’d definitely be passing on some of the stuff to try and make a more cohesive meal.

I’ve never heard of bonito, and Google tells me it’s fish. Please tell me Google is wrong and your sister isn’t really making a rosemary and fish gravy?