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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to be pissed off with brother's sexist "jokes"

19 replies

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 06:26

I'm in a family WhatsApp group, me 1 brother, 2 sisters. Every so often older brother sends these supposedly funny memes, usually sexist or racist ones. Like a black person filmed doing something a bit stupid or ones about how bad women are are parking or how good they are at spending their man's money, the usual old tropes. Latest one is a video of a young woman listening to this joke and laughing at it. The "joke" " what's the difference between a wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist"

WTF! Why would he send it to anyone let alone 3 women who are his sisters??? He's 63. 😩And the sisters will politely respond with laughing or giggling emojis which is nearly worse. 🙄

I've responded before with that brace yourselves, winter is coming meme except it says brace yourself triggered feminists are coming. He ignores it so now ignore his pathetic memes. Or should I put him in his place or explain to him that it's not ok that he's being sexist/racist? Anyway, it pisses me off!!!

OP posts:
IcyPuddles · 03/12/2025 06:45

You either tell him to stop and if he doesn’t, leave the group, or say nothing, mute the group, and let it all wash over you.

FracasFracas · 03/12/2025 06:49

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just say ‘Do you actually think that’s funny, Dave? Do you want me to explain why it’s not?’ Every time.

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 06:52

Problem is they are all soooo polite and wouldn't dream of saying anything like that to anyone else. There's an age gap between me and them. Oh I know I should tell him to cut it out but I'll end up being the baddie. I know, I know, I shouldn't care. 😩

OP posts:
FracasFracas · 03/12/2025 07:00

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 06:52

Problem is they are all soooo polite and wouldn't dream of saying anything like that to anyone else. There's an age gap between me and them. Oh I know I should tell him to cut it out but I'll end up being the baddie. I know, I know, I shouldn't care. 😩

Who are? Your sisters? But maybe they think his jokes are delightful. You’re the one being driven mad by them, so you tell him to shut it.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 03/12/2025 07:04

I had to check the date of this post to make sure it wasn’t one of mine. Uncannily similar situation to one I had a few years ago.

I just used to ignore the memes, and in the end, it stopped being an issue because I went NC with my family anyway!

You may want to take a more measured approach. Just mute the chat.

ChikinLikin · 03/12/2025 07:10

I would leave the chat and explain why. Racist and misogynistic memes from a 63 year old man to three women? Wtf?
Maybe you could start again with a no memes rule?

pestowithwalnuts · 03/12/2025 07:22

Could you not form another group with just your sister's ,?
Do they think he's funny ?

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 07:22

Can't mute the chat as it was primarily set up for us to discuss the care of our ancient parents who are still going strong!

OP posts:
Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 07:28

pestowithwalnuts · 03/12/2025 07:22

Could you not form another group with just your sister's ,?
Do they think he's funny ?

Well they seem to, they always respond with laughing emojis. But I think out of politeness. When I posted the triggered feminists are coming meme 1 sister laughed her head off but in a separate message to me only. It's fucked up.

OP posts:
Strollorweight · 03/12/2025 07:29

How odd

in my family the very first occasion someone made a comment like this… the shower of shit that would have been poured on them from every family member would have been epic

not so, it would appear, in your family OP

Strollorweight · 03/12/2025 07:29

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 07:28

Well they seem to, they always respond with laughing emojis. But I think out of politeness. When I posted the triggered feminists are coming meme 1 sister laughed her head off but in a separate message to me only. It's fucked up.

I imagine this is just the tip of the iceberg as to what’s “fucked up” in this family

BlueEyedBogWitch · 03/12/2025 07:30

Strollorweight · 03/12/2025 07:29

I imagine this is just the tip of the iceberg as to what’s “fucked up” in this family

Yup.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 03/12/2025 07:33

What about doing some memes targeting him? The ‘man’s here’ cartoon for example. I know they are harder to find…

Given he’s apparently a dinosaur, the winter is coming meme may have gone over his head.

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 07:40

Strollorweight · 03/12/2025 07:29

I imagine this is just the tip of the iceberg as to what’s “fucked up” in this family

I don't know about that other than they are a different generation to me, late 60s, early 70s. I'm a young thing of 56!! And like I said, they are soooo polite in this group, there's no light hearted piss taking there or in real life like you get with most siblings. Although I do it sometimes to try to relax and lighten things up.

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 03/12/2025 07:42

It’s your brother so why can’t you be straight with him and just tell him him

FracasFracas · 03/12/2025 07:44

Greysowhat · 03/12/2025 07:28

Well they seem to, they always respond with laughing emojis. But I think out of politeness. When I posted the triggered feminists are coming meme 1 sister laughed her head off but in a separate message to me only. It's fucked up.

But they don’t have to agree with you, whatever their ages. His sexist, racist memes annoy you. You get to tell him that you don’t want them on the family WhatsApp group. Or to suggest he starts a separate group dedicated entirely to sexist, racist memes. He could call it ‘Repellent Dinosaur’.

StruggleFlourish · 03/12/2025 07:52

If you've told him to cut it out, and it's not appropriate/funny and he won't (like seriously? Read the room dude! Your sisters in a private chat?) then fight fire with fire. There has to be a bunch of just as stupid memes and jokes about 60 year old guys ....whatever job he did, whatever his physical looks are, wherever his personal flaws are, then find a joke about it. Can't find one? Ask chat GTP to make one. Then post and 😂. So stupid and immature, I agree. But if open and reasonable communication didn't work, try "dumb privileged white male" logic and assume there's nothing wrong with making fun cuz "it's just a joke".

rwalker · 03/12/2025 07:53

Ether address it or put up with it
you can reply “grow up”or eye roll emoji

ChikinLikin · 04/12/2025 17:34

Ban all memes.
It's a lazy way to communicate anyway.

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