Christmas Alone. Again

[BeZingyPeachWriter]

There be loads of these posts I am sure.
mine goes like this: been together 2 years. Horrible, horrible year for us both. I miscarried our daughter and recently moved a lot nearer to my SO. It’s been been rubbish. Promises of togetherness never happened or moving in. I’m here alone with my daughter in a strange place. Instead of helping to make this feel different and make it what could be a magical Xmas…I have been informed I am not invited to Xmas Day at his sister and brother in law’s apparently due to capacity. He goes with his elderly parents who he lives with. He knows I’ll be alone for Xmas now. I have no family in the UK. I have been to family gatherings before but I feel like it was only because I was pregnant. He’s wanting us to go away at Twixmas but this has got me in the stomach and really hurt my feelings. After everything I’m left out and excluded. He could have, if it was a numbers things said he would be with me. This is a line in the sand I can’t get past. I hear all his declarations of love but looking at it I spend most my time alone, when he should have be doing seasonal stuff with me. I feel used. Love bombed as I try and walk out the door and he just comes over, breadcrumbs me and disappears. After everything this has hit me hard. He’s the most unsupportive and selfish man I’ve met in a long time. I’m expected to sit here in a bare house I’m still putting together whilst he opens presents under a tree and sits around the family tables without a thought. I didn’t know ppl could be so mean 😢

I’m really sorry about being harsh op. I was thinking from the perspective of your child who had no say in this. It was two years and a lot happened. Go to Greece, dump this loser and just never be with a man who won’t even meet you half way over anything.

Pack your things and leave while he's with his family. Move home. Move away. But get yourself out of there. View Christmas as your starting over with the fucking arsehole this year.

You say his family like you. I do not accept you not being invited because of numbers. Either he is telling them not to invite you, most probably, or they don’t like you, least likely!

I am sorry that you lost your darling baby! You have a DD, is she your SOs?

Leaving you alone at Christmas, while as you say, he opens presents with his family is not acceptable.

Is he faithful? Does he have another person they he is taking to his families? This doesn’t sound right.

Way back in my youth, my useless DDs father was doing this kind of thing to me. M

I understand you are alone, but is there anyone that you can meet up with and speak to? You have made the first step reaching out to MN.

It was my thought too. Her child is the one that matters here, not this man that she has only known for a short while. It’s perfectly possible to have a lovely Christmas just mother and child, that doesn’t need to be ruined because of some idiot man.

OP, focus more on what you have and less on someone who makes yours and your child’s life worse than it needs to be. Neither of you deserve that.

When people show you who they are, believe them!

You don't deserve to be treated like this.

So sorry about your miscarriage

In your shoes I would be using this time to start winding up my life near him and make plans to move where you have the best support network.

Don't do him the courtesy of keeping him informed, just go when you can.

I hope you haven't bought him any presents?

If you are anywhere near Bristol or can get to it you’d be very welcome here. We may be strangers but I’m told I’m a nice person and the kids are now 15 and 19 so will be calm ish in their present mountains! We’d absolutely love some company, it gets quite boring sometimes just the four of us. I’m not nigella lawson but I put on a great roast! Seriously OP, DM me if you want to come, we’ll make you very welcome.

p.s I also have miscarriage experience (first at 5 weeks, second at 16 weeks). I’m so sorry 💐

Defo go to your aunt in Greece. Possibly permanently if you have dual citizenship amd it’s nice there.

I have always seen my family AND my various partners over the years on Christmas Day. I was knackered with going from a to b, to c, to d, but no way I’d not see anyone close.

He maybe thinks youre happy being a family unit with dc but why would he not try and fit in seeing you at some point. Hes weird and insensitive amd choosing not to prioritise your relationship.

I’d go to Greece and have a lovely time with your family. Think about what you want while you’re away. I don’t think it will be him.

Throw him in the bin.

He's no good.
Leave him.
Start planning to move to a new place where you would like to live in the new year.
There really is no point wasting any more of your precious time on this utterly selfish man. He can never make you happy because he is just using you when it suits him. His family sound awful too or he is lying about there being no room at the inn. No decent family would leave the girlfriend of one of their son's alone at Xmas knowing she recently had a miscarriage and that you have no parents and no family in the country.
It's utterly cruel.

@BeZingyPeachWriter, DM

@DeadsoulsAngel.

Please do!

Love you @DeadsoulsAngel x

@JoClogs that is what is keeping me strong . In the end, I wasn’t asking for a lot to be treated better and with kindness. The other way around id have.

@DeadsoulsAngel sent you a DM x

How lovely!

Guarantee he changes his mind when he realises you’ve got better options.

@BeZingyPeachWriter and
@DeadsoulsAngel - I am crying xxx

Aww, that's lovely!! 💕

I really am blown away away by the kindness shown here. Thank you. Kinda feels more than I deserve. x

Is he your daughter’s Dad? If not I definitely move to Greece with your DD.

That would be lovely. Don't tell him your plans.

Are you able to afford a little holiday or find out if there are any Christmas lunch events in your community. Spending the day alone is not a great idea if you would rather be with people.

I suspect he thinks it would be cruel to end things when you're grieving the baby you lost. But he's making things worse. He was never fully committed, just going through the motions. He's not a nice man.

@Needtosoundoffandbreathe no doubt that. Nothing is making him declare his undying love and I’m sat there telling him I’d rather hear the truth if it’s over. Do it once and be done. Nah, I think he’s messed up, that’s all I can think. Something isn’t adding up but I’m too unwell myself to be doing that

Yes. That's what I meant.

@BeZingyPeachWriter I hope you find the strength to move out and dump this sorry excuse for a partner.

You can move forward from this.
Start preparing to end this relationship.
Never uproot yourself and your daughter again for anyone.