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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I feel terrible, taken out of school for Lapland UK

305 replies

MummaHud · 02/12/2025 07:15

I’ve taken my daughter out of school today she’s 5 for Lapland UK. We don’t have a lot of money and her brother was born extremely premature last year and she missed out on a lot of things because of it.

she’s the kindest soul, she’s really clever and she’s just amazing.

im not justifying anything as id never take my child out of school, but we won VIP at Lapland UK.

an experience I’d never ever consider looking at usually and its not an experience I can turn down.

my daughter has 100% attendance, I’m worried what the school will do? I’ve been honest and she will be back tomorrow.

am I a bad mum? 😭

OP posts:
B1anche · 02/12/2025 08:57

I am the most uptight parent ever when it comes to school attendance but, in this instance, I say go for it. It sounds like you've had a tough time and deserve a treat. One day at this time of year for a 5 year old will not make a difference.

Kendodd · 02/12/2025 08:57

I never took my kids out of school for holidays/days out apart from one day for a grandparents funeral. All are at uni now. Their peers, who were taken out of school regularly for a holiday or something like that seem to have had no noticeable consequences for these absences. They all got good exam results and are now at equally good unis, including Oxbridge, studying a range things including medicine.

I feel like a fool for paying top prices for holidays, thousands of pounds more, just to keep them in school. That extra money I paid would have been better saved for uni for them.
Anyway, enjoy your day out op :)

teaandtoastwouldbenice · 02/12/2025 08:59

No have a great day! School will be absolutely fine given what you’ve said.

CharlotteFlax · 02/12/2025 09:00

Go and have an amazing day and think no more about it!

Periperi2025 · 02/12/2025 09:02

MummaHud · 02/12/2025 07:15

I’ve taken my daughter out of school today she’s 5 for Lapland UK. We don’t have a lot of money and her brother was born extremely premature last year and she missed out on a lot of things because of it.

she’s the kindest soul, she’s really clever and she’s just amazing.

im not justifying anything as id never take my child out of school, but we won VIP at Lapland UK.

an experience I’d never ever consider looking at usually and its not an experience I can turn down.

my daughter has 100% attendance, I’m worried what the school will do? I’ve been honest and she will be back tomorrow.

am I a bad mum? 😭

Where i am in North Wales we get 10 days 'annual leave' at primary school age, the teachers, and other pupils love hearing about the holidays and adventures the kids have been on. My daughter had surveyed all her teachers and dinner ladies on who had been to Alton Towers before we took her out of school for that trip!!

Enjoy Lapland, I am very Jealous!!

GAJLY · 02/12/2025 09:05

PoppyFleur · 02/12/2025 07:20

What a fantastic experience to win! One day out of school, at age 5, will not hinder your daughter whatsoever.

Go, enjoy every minute of it and immediately cease any feelings of guilt, otherwise you will ruin what could be a magical day.

Agree with this 👆

5128gap · 02/12/2025 09:09

C'mon OP, think about it! How can a routine day at school for a 5 year old possibly be better for her than that experience? The journey, the stimulus, the one on one attention from you? Your DD is at the age where everything novel is a learning experience, and you can point things out, talk to her, discuss things, get her to read signs, talk about the real lapland, what reindeer eat etc. Compare the value of that to an average school day and the trip wins by some margin. Just because it's fun, doesn't mean it's not useful.

UnintentionalArcher · 02/12/2025 09:11

No, enjoy it!

HairyToity · 02/12/2025 09:13

Nah, I took mine out for a week to go on holiday at 5. You won't get a fine, enjoy your day at Lapland UK. She'll remember it a lot longer than a school day.

myheadsjustmush · 02/12/2025 09:13

You are not a bad mum.

Your DD is 5. You all have a fantastic day and don't worry about school. It is only for one day after all!

PersephonePomegranate · 02/12/2025 09:15

Blimey, OP, that sounds fabulous and well deserved.

I'm not one for taking DC out of school, but even I'd jump at this! Notify the school, accept the unauthorised absence and have a lovely time!

Pyjamatimenow · 02/12/2025 09:15

Wouldn’t give it a second thought

ThisQuirkyAmberMember · 02/12/2025 09:15

Please don’t give it another second’s thought! Enjoy your magical day with your daughter…sounds like you BOTH deserve it!

Redburnett · 02/12/2025 09:17

Possibly one of the most ridiculous posts ever (assuming it is real):

'I feel terrible....

id never take my child out of school...'

Except that you are. Either own it and accept your DC is not doomed to a menial job on minimum wage or give the tickets to someone else.

Seawolves · 02/12/2025 09:19

I took my Yr1 child out for a day recently to go to Centre Parcs, school didn't bat an eyelid. Your DD will remember this day for a very long time and her education will not come to any harm because she's missed a single day. Enjoy your special day together!

Liverpool2025 · 02/12/2025 09:20

MummaHud · 02/12/2025 07:15

I’ve taken my daughter out of school today she’s 5 for Lapland UK. We don’t have a lot of money and her brother was born extremely premature last year and she missed out on a lot of things because of it.

she’s the kindest soul, she’s really clever and she’s just amazing.

im not justifying anything as id never take my child out of school, but we won VIP at Lapland UK.

an experience I’d never ever consider looking at usually and its not an experience I can turn down.

my daughter has 100% attendance, I’m worried what the school will do? I’ve been honest and she will be back tomorrow.

am I a bad mum? 😭

Seriously?!

I'm a teacher.

I take my child out to go to the beach in summer. Don't waste time worrying about this.

IAmATorturedPoet · 02/12/2025 09:20

Do it and don't feel guilty.

I did this years ago when my DC were four and six. I took them out of school for the day to go to Lapland U.K.and they had the best time. They are now 22 and 24 and even all these years later it quite often gets a mention at this time of year by one or other of them.

It's for young children and it's done very well, go and have a lovely time with your DD.

Balkancity · 02/12/2025 09:22

It is crazy that this causes such stress and angst in the UK and that the education bods have sold the narrative of missing one day being so much trouble for them. Here in eastern Europe any child can take 15 days out during term time (max of 5 days at a time) on request by a parent, and this was increased least year from the previous 5 days. The world turns, the teachers cope and the kids pass their exams (in fact most 14 year olds here would sail through GCSE maths for example). Relax and enjoy your day.

thesugarbumfairy · 02/12/2025 09:24

You will have plenty of opportunities in the future to feel mum guilt - this definitely isn't one of them. Have a lovely time!

Foreverexhausted1 · 02/12/2025 09:28

Don't give it another thought. School will mark it as unauthorised absence but nothing will happen. Enjoy your day making memories with your family, what an amazing thing to win!!

TheUsualChaos · 02/12/2025 09:28

It's so sad that's parents are made to feel this guilty and question themselves like this.

socool · 02/12/2025 09:29

Don't worry about it even for a minute. She will learn a heck of a lot more going away with Mum to Lapland UK, than she ever will in a day at very early primary school.

I don't really know where all the hand wringing about this issue comes from. Are things THAT disciplinarian nowadays? I know there are fines - which amazes me, it's like making a criminal out of a toddler! A bit of an overreach I think.

My friends in Ireland say there is absolutely NO such thing as worry or guilt about taking their kids out often for a week term time for hols or for a wedding/funeral etc. It is an accepted fact there, and there are no repercussions. Bear in mind that the standard of education in that country is very high too. Hmmm.

Hons123 · 02/12/2025 09:29

Of course not! What nonsense. I regularly took my dc abroad whenever my SIL told us 'here, you have the keys for a week or so' and off we went during term time - I could not afford 'abroad' for them otherwise, without her charity. Every time the school asked, I just said 'don't make me change schools' and as even then they were a small, struggling school, they left us alone.

Welkeom · 02/12/2025 09:30

You get 4 and a half days to be absent from school so use them!

loberoncolours · 02/12/2025 09:32

I imagine that it isn't so much that the OP is worried that she is a bad mum, more that she is asking what others think, because there are so many threads on MN criticising parents for taking children out for holidays or the odd day. There are threads where parents explain that they were honest with the school in advance and parent was later taken to court - and told that it wasn't the school's decision as to whether that would happen or not. In local authorities there may be more rigid thinking "a rule is a rule". Is the problem.

If parents are taken to court I am not sure a defence would be that MN posters approved it.

Possibly a petition should be started asking the government to change the rules about absences, allowing schools to approve absences in certain circumstances.