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Original poster

I feel terrible, taken out of school for Lapland UK

305 replies

MummaHud · 02/12/2025 07:15

I’ve taken my daughter out of school today she’s 5 for Lapland UK. We don’t have a lot of money and her brother was born extremely premature last year and she missed out on a lot of things because of it.

she’s the kindest soul, she’s really clever and she’s just amazing.

im not justifying anything as id never take my child out of school, but we won VIP at Lapland UK.

an experience I’d never ever consider looking at usually and its not an experience I can turn down.

my daughter has 100% attendance, I’m worried what the school will do? I’ve been honest and she will be back tomorrow.

am I a bad mum? 😭

OP posts:
Wildbushlady · 02/12/2025 08:07

Don't worry, by the time she is a bit older you will be completely immune to any guilt tripping the school do. When they go so overboard, so often, it quickly immunises you to it!

Dd has a disability and a serious health condition, that required surgery. My mum guilt evaporated when we recieved a threatening letter about too much time off, and dd missed out on the 'good' childrens attendance party.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 02/12/2025 08:08

OP, that’s awful. Your poor DD will miss that day’s phonics, and go through life never able to use that day’s letter. 😁😉

TrippingOverMyAssets · 02/12/2025 08:10

Well if you don’t have a lot of money you probably won’t want a fine for non attendance, bear in mind that nobody on here telling you you’ll be ok is going to pay the fine for you. What’s the schools policy? Fines usually start at compulsory school age on the school term after their 5th birthday and you say she’s 5 so it sounds like you could well get a letter regardless if you told them.

usedtobeaylis · 02/12/2025 08:11

Who cares about 100% attendance? Go!

AliasGrape · 02/12/2025 08:12

Oh how lovely, have a wonderful time and don’t think any more about it, I’m so glad you won the tickets, I’ve heard it’s truly magical if ridiculously expensive!

I was a primary teacher for 16+ years until having my daughter and would still absolutely do the same without a second thought (well ok, I’d probably overthink it a bit!) I’m really hot on her being in school usually and wouldn’t make a habit of it, but for something like this I would.

Last year she was in reception, not 5 yet and we took her out for a day. I was away for work, DH had the chance to go join his parents in a beautiful holiday spot but the only way it could be made to work was for them to go down Thursday evening and miss the Friday of school. I told the teacher honestly what we were doing and she said brightly ‘oh how lovely’ and then told me to just can the office Friday morning and say she was ill, ‘obviously I didn’t tell you that but just easiest all round!’

TrippingOverMyAssets · 02/12/2025 08:12

usedtobeaylis · 02/12/2025 08:11

Who cares about 100% attendance? Go!

Schools governors do interestingly.

Maryaliceyoungx · 02/12/2025 08:13

No! Your daughter will have the most amazing time - it’s magical!

usedtobeaylis · 02/12/2025 08:14

TrippingOverMyAssets · 02/12/2025 08:12

Schools governors do interestingly.

Show quote history

Who gives a fuck about school governors 🙃

Flomingho · 02/12/2025 08:14

You are absolutely not a bad Mum. Hope you have an amazing time in lapland. Holidays are educational and making holiday memories before your children grow up is so important. Many would disagree but my personal stance is that schools are there to educate and should not be dictating how we bring our children up. More government interference in peoples lives.

Maryaliceyoungx · 02/12/2025 08:15

TrippingOverMyAssets · 02/12/2025 08:12

Schools governors do interestingly.

Show quote history

But they are would not expect 100% attendance. Their focus would be on school average and if there are any repeat offenders bringing it down…. Not one day to Lapland for a child with otherwise good attendance

CantBreathe90 · 02/12/2025 08:15

Oh no - she'll never catch up on her colouring in 😨😨😨

AgnesMcDoo · 02/12/2025 08:15

Good grief of course you are not a bad mum

SatsumaDog · 02/12/2025 08:15

No, of course you’re not a bad mum. You can’t turn down the opportunity to take her when you’ve won tickets. One day of school missed at her age won’t have any impact on her education.

schoollane · 02/12/2025 08:18

It makes me sad that you would even hesitate with this. Nanny state...

OP I am a rule keeper but would not give this a single second thought. Have the best day!!

Farkinhell · 02/12/2025 08:21

Go and have a wonderful day. One day off school in a 100% attendance (especially at 5 years old) is nothing to worry about.

StephensLass1977 · 02/12/2025 08:24

Well yes it will ruin her attendance, and no she won't be able to keep up any sort of "off sick" fib as she's so young (I know you didn't ask the latter) but I can't see any harm in this. She's 5!

When my son was 13, a family USA holiday (in school holiday time) overran by a day, due to delayed flights home, which then pushed him into a 1-day absence - we just called the school (this was 2007) and were honest. The head was absolutely great about it. But yes he got an absence.

Don't let the school issue impinge on your fun day. Have a great time.

Headyhead · 02/12/2025 08:27

This reply has been deleted

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Headyhead · 02/12/2025 08:28

I’m worried what the school will do?

presumably you contacted them weeks ago? Or did you just drop them a line today?

Headyhead · 02/12/2025 08:29

she’s the kindest soul, she’s really clever and she’s just amazing.

shat does this have to do with anything?

and she isn’t. MY children are 😆!

waterrat · 02/12/2025 08:30

The whole fuss about attendence is insane and genuinely damaging in our culture. Many, many things are as important - or in fact more valuable - then a day in school. The fact we can't see this shows how f-ed our society is.

My aunt was a headteacher (now retired) and said when she was working 20 years ago or more - it was just up to school to say yes or no and she was able to let children enjoy holidays/ days off that couldn't be done on other days - and it was totally normal, school could see if a child was missing school for concerning reassons and nobody gave the odd day off further thought.

CuriousKangaroo · 02/12/2025 08:32

You are not a bad mum! She’s only 5, has a perfect attendance record which suggests you are not the sort of parent who lets their child have days off for every little thing and this is a one off for something really special. And you have been honest with the school too. Please don’t worry, just have a fabulous time. Congratulations on winning the tickets - what a joy!

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 02/12/2025 08:32

Hedgehogbrown · 02/12/2025 07:42

Just lie. Why be honest? Why do you even feel bad? Other countries aren't as strict on this. This is a UK thing.

Edited
Show quote history

Don't lie because that means stopping your daughter from telling all her friends about her amazing day which isn't fair. Go, have an amazing time and don't give it a second thought

Hufflebuffs · 02/12/2025 08:32

No. Go and have fun. I’m very pleased for you, it sounds like a much needed treat for you all.

wellingtonsandwaffles · 02/12/2025 08:33

There will be no fine, the school probably wouldn’t say anything. It will be marked unauthorised but it doesn’t mean anything to you - it affects the school’s stats that’s all. What an amazing experience for your daughter - children miss weeks, one day won’t be a problem at all

Happyjoe · 02/12/2025 08:35

She will love it! Go go go go go!

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