To be tempted to pull a sickie?

[ofthelandandsea]

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

It’s just wrong - sorry. I’m a teacher and I’ve missed all sorts of stuff with family (and friends). My kids have grown up well balanced and successful - they haven’t been damaged! I agree it’s sad to miss things but it’s part of your job. It is possible to lose your job over this too.
What if doctors, dentists, shopkeepers etc etc just decide to throw a sickie to watch a child’s play?

Schools don't assume that, but school happens during the day so that's when performances happen. It's equally unfair to expect folk to drag their kids back in at night, and we always refused to do this.

I suggest you look for a job in another school. Considering there is a teaching crisis (I know I used to be one) especially for secondary, you could look at other options as other schools might be better at allowing leave (I always had time off at mine, but I didn't take the mic and go to everything...the kids dad went instead).

I think it is still risky, whatever you say, about being sick at the time of the play. Some of your examples of mental health could play out but would require being signed off for a prolonged time (as someone with depression going out to do something to help their mental health is different to someone supposedly off with S&D).
You also say it's unlikely anyone would spot you, but you never quite know. All it takes is a few people to talk, or a new unknown partner of another child who also works in education to be introduced to you as another teacher.

Also what will you do with the other events throughout the year? Sports day? Book looks (if their school does that of a day time) Any other plays? If you repeat this at a similar time each year it will become quite obvious.

Everyone does it though, besides a few evangelical posters on here

Exactly this. It’s part of the job. If it’s a deal breaker you need a different job or at the very least a more flexible school.

They can defer parental leave but only with solid business reason that it would cause significant disruption which is unlikely. They then risk a grievance which takes much more working hours to deal with.

No, everyone doesn't lie to their employer.

The vast majority of people will pull a sickie in their lifetime. Then again I’m pretty sure you’re the poster who gave me a hard time when I posted about one back in the summer, so 😂

Which can and I am sure would be made up over the weekend/evenings the following week.

I was in exactly the same situation nearly thirty years ago.
I did pull that sicky. Only that once, for her first nativity in reception. Never did it again.

“It is silly because if it was OKd I’d only be missing the last period of the day which is actually my PPA anyway so no implications for cover.”

Now, this is ridiculous. You absolutely should be able to go under these circumstances. My school is quite tricky with things like this but if no cover was required (due to PPA or others in the department willing to cover) there would be no issue at all. It just seems petty.

I’d be tempted to just leave at lunch time. Better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

I thought new guidelines said teachers could WFH for PPA?
The inflexible attitude of your SLT is ridiculous. no wonder teachers are leaving the profession in their droves. In my experience SLT get the goodwill back ten times. Take the day off and strap your knee up heavily 😉

If I had this scenario this I’d be so paranoid I’d get caught that I wouldn’t do it.
I used to work in a school - admin, not teaching - and even for admin staff it was hard to get time off. You had to get a form signed even if you needed to leave 15 mins early for an appointment so I know these rules can be draconian. I still wouldn’t do it though.

Yes but she made her choice, for the lack of flexibility.

OP, if genuinely all you would miss is PPA time and there is NO impact to other staff at your school, or costs for cover, then I would go in, teach normally till lunch, start muttering about headache, shivering, then valiantly teach the next student lessons, then leave in a hurry. But there are a lot of events for your DC- you need to prioritise. I always missed sports days. My DC was useless at games, hated them, so didn't care if i was there or not!

As someone senior in HR for a small MAT, go.

Go and enjoy your daughter's first nativity, you don't get that back,

You had a horrendous migraine which subsided throughout the day and you felt better to leave the house (or something to that effect).

Then when you get home start looking for a new role within a school that really cares about its employees as people.

:)

I do think then you work in a school you go into that knowing you get all the holidays with your kids, and the downside to it is missing out on these things sometimes. I’d ask your school to allow you to attend but wouldn’t pull a fake sickie.

It's morally wrong to be forced to put other peoples children first at all times, to the detriment of your own children.

I mean, it's her job, fair enough. But there has to be a little flexibility otherwise parents can't be teachers.

Surely it would ‘bite’ you if it was found out you were faking being sick? It’s not the taking a sick day that’s the issue, it’s the lying. Many employers would sack you for that, especially in a profession where integrity and trustworthiness are essential requirements. And believe me, you always get found out, whether it’s the partner of a work colleague you bump into in Tesco's or the fuel station later.

But the risk is up to you.

ETA: I know that first nativities feel important, but they really aren’t. We are made to feel that way because of the way schools/society spin it. My DH never got to got to one and my kids have no recollection whatsoever of any nativity or school play there were in before the age of 7. Neither is damaged. There will be lots of firsts, meaningful firsts that they WILL remember and where you or your DH being there is significant. I’d not risk my job on this one.

Agree with this.

OP, I feel for you as must be horrible to want to be there and know that you can't go unless you call in sick. But what are you going to do when the next school play comes around - call in sick again? It sounds like your school's lack of flexibility is not sustainable for you long term.

I think this is a little dramatic. Plenty of other jobs cause people to miss time with kids, usually much worse things like Xmas day too (nhs, police, military etc). Missing an Xmas play is not the end of the world, sounds like the real issue is actually the primary school, I’ve never known a school only do a daytime show.

As people love to say to my family, you know what you’re getting yourself into. Getting the school holidays is a pretty big perk, but of course it means you don’t get school days, you can’t have it both ways. A day off in a school is disruptive to 30+ people.

I teach at a school where they will move mountains to allow you to go to these things. You literally give your lives to other people's kids so why miss out on your own?
But then again it's PPA time, we wouldn't even have to ask as we can go home and do it there.
If there are no cover implications it's always a yes.....and this is why I've worked there for 18 years!

The issue is, as PPs have said, OP seems to want all the school holidays AND unlimited flexibility for all these 'one-off' events -

All working parents miss these things sometimes - it's just the way it is unfortunately.

Does she think my children are any less disappointed than hers would be when they get shoved into school clubs in the summer holidays - when their friends with teacher parents are having lovely days out?

Everyone who works in a school has to do this from time to time. Be discreet and enjoy the Nativity.

Edited to say though that all schools I worked in did allow time off for occasions like this,I would agree to make up the time.

Can u say youve got an appointment so you dont miss the whole day?

What time is the play? Presumably it’s not the whole day. So, either you will feel well enough to attend a local event later, or you will feel well enough to go into school after the play.

I have never done this, but I have missed a day when exhausted and overwhelmed by planning and marking. I spent the day working, just not teaching. I am aware, however, that many teachers take their full annual ‘entitlement’ to sick pay whether they are sick or not.