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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tempted to pull a sickie?

501 replies

ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 06:28

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

OP posts:
MrsHamlet · 02/12/2025 06:54

A hospital appointment is different.

But you're going to do it anyway

ThatIsABigSon · 02/12/2025 06:55

Just go. It's your ppa time anyway so you wouldn't be due to teach. The school's fault for having such a blanket 'no' policy

MrsHamlet · 02/12/2025 06:56

ThatIsABigSon · 02/12/2025 06:55

Just go. It's your ppa time anyway so you wouldn't be due to teach. The school's fault for having such a blanket 'no' policy

It's still directed time

ProudCat · 02/12/2025 06:57

Teacher and union rep here. You do you. And if you get pulled up on it, you'll have no union support. One day you might get pulled on something else and this instance of misconduct could be brought into play.

Twiglets1 · 02/12/2025 06:57

Your school sounds awful @ofthelandandsea

I wouldn’t feel that guilty pulling a sickie seeing as they make it almost impossible to get time off any other way.

Something that plausibly could improve during the course of one day just in case you do get recognised (unlikely). Like extreme toothache where you need an emergency dentist appointment.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 06:58

They'd replace you if you died. Your dd wouldnt. Go for it! 🥰

PeachRings · 02/12/2025 07:00

SushiForMe · 02/12/2025 06:51

Would you also commit tax fraud?
You do realise that this is the same: you are paid for work you do, deciding to lie in order to not do the work but still be paid is fraud.

Personally I would not do it, and accept that missing the school events is the trade off for getting all the school holidays off.

By that measure though every second you spend at work not working is fraud? Every single moment chatting, a quick check to see if your parcels have been delivered, a message to ask your husband to put the oven on? All fraud.

Mygardenandme · 02/12/2025 07:03

Well if you've told people about the play it will be obvious why you've taken the day off. Such a shame you were feeling awful a few days before hand though...

Frynye · 02/12/2025 07:05

I know it tempting, I completely get it, but where does it end. End of school concert? Next years play, reading in class.

You need to help your dd to understand why you can’t be there and maybe make a big deal of watching the recording together in the evening.
Maybe time to look for another school.
Im sorry Op. I get it’s frustrating

Original poster
ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 07:05

ProudCat · 02/12/2025 06:57

Teacher and union rep here. You do you. And if you get pulled up on it, you'll have no union support. One day you might get pulled on something else and this instance of misconduct could be brought into play.

This is not aimed at you personally and please don’t take it that way but I really could not give a shit 😂 The union aren’t really a form of support anyway. As I say that is not aimed at you; we all know if a school want to get rid of a teacher they will.

OP posts:
NET145 · 02/12/2025 07:07

Lying is a sackable offence

Crimsonbow · 02/12/2025 07:08

One of the (many) reasons that I left teaching. I haven't missed one of my children's school events since.

If you aren't already considering it, I thoroughly recommend it. Life is amazing now and I no longer consider crashing my car to have some time off to rest.

PeachRings · 02/12/2025 07:08

NET145 · 02/12/2025 07:07

Lying is a sackable offence

This is why you make sure you can’t be caught

bigsoftcocks · 02/12/2025 07:09

If you don’t give a shit, per your more recent response to someone why are you even asking here ?

EINSEINSNULL · 02/12/2025 07:10

ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 06:32

I hate sounding antagonistic here but why would I lose my job for one day off sick?

After all, even if I was really unwell I wouldn’t be under house arrest.

Show quote history

Um, because you just happen to be too sick to go to work, but not sick enough to stay away from lots of other people, on what happens to be the day of your daughter's school play?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/12/2025 07:14

I don’t think I’d do it.

I would start looking for a different job though as it sounds awful.

SushiForMe · 02/12/2025 07:15

PeachRings · 02/12/2025 07:00

By that measure though every second you spend at work not working is fraud? Every single moment chatting, a quick check to see if your parcels have been delivered, a message to ask your husband to put the oven on? All fraud.

Show quote history

People don’t usually need to lie or
hide to take a break or have a quick chat with a colleague. I guess that if you pretend that you are temporarily unable to work in order to take a break then yes, same thing.

Lolalovesroses · 02/12/2025 07:15

There will be connections, maybe not between the parents, but definitely between the teachers, they often meet up and learn about best practice, have trained together or even worked at the school. It’s too risky.

theresapossuminthekitchen · 02/12/2025 07:15

I have left schools like this for exactly this reason. We are adults with lives and schools need to recognise that. Where there are no cover implications, it shouldn’t even be a question. The government are trying to stem the flow of teachers (only very slightly more teachers started teaching than left last year) and one thing they have been pushing for is that PPA should be able to done at home, where practical. Last period of the day is one of those times where it’s practical, and you’re not even asking to do it every week - just a one off. My school wouldn’t think twice about allowing you to leave early (we wouldn’t have to ask - we’re not imprisoned in the building!) and we’d be given cover for a couple of lessons to go to significant events (I’d take cover to watch a nativity or make an appearance at a first sports day but when they were older and better able to understand, I missed a lot of class assemblies and sports days). Schools depend on staff goodwill and need to be more give-and-take - if you end up not going, make sure you don’t do an hour more than your directed time going forward!

Original poster
ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 07:16

bigsoftcocks · 02/12/2025 07:09

If you don’t give a shit, per your more recent response to someone why are you even asking here ?

I said I didn’t give a shit whether the union would support or not. I know they wouldn’t, and I wouldn’t expect them too. The union can’t do much if a school decides they want rid. That is not aimed at the poster in question and I wouldn’t want her to think it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 07:17

Lolalovesroses · 02/12/2025 07:15

There will be connections, maybe not between the parents, but definitely between the teachers, they often meet up and learn about best practice, have trained together or even worked at the school. It’s too risky.

Not at a tiny primary school and a huge urban secondary school over ten miles apart from one another in different counties and with an entirely different school as a catchment.

I promise.

OP posts:
PeachRings · 02/12/2025 07:19

SushiForMe · 02/12/2025 07:15

People don’t usually need to lie or
hide to take a break or have a quick chat with a colleague. I guess that if you pretend that you are temporarily unable to work in order to take a break then yes, same thing.

Show quote history

Well no, by your measure any time that you’re at work that you’re not actively working, is fraud. Which is just bollocks.

If the school wants to have a ridiculously strict policy, that’s fine. They need to accept that people will do this.

OP, at this point I’d consider getting yourself signed off for the Christmas period. It sounds awful.

EINSEINSNULL · 02/12/2025 07:19

ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 07:17

Not at a tiny primary school and a huge urban secondary school over ten miles apart from one another in different counties and with an entirely different school as a catchment.

I promise.

Show quote history

You can't know that for sure.

SatsumaDog · 02/12/2025 07:19

Wont it be completely obvious to everyone you are lying? What is the risk of getting caught out? If you think it’s low and are willing to face the consequences should you gwt
found out then go for it. It seems very harsh of the school not to allow teachers to attend these things but I suppose it’s a money thing. Getting cover teachers wouldn’t be cheap.

Original poster
ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 07:20

Why would it be obvious @SatsumaDog ? Not meant contentiously, genuinely asking why it would be obvious? It isn’t unusual for both staff and kids to be off at this time of year; I think our whole school attendance was about 82% last week!

OP posts:
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