To be tempted to pull a sickie?

[ofthelandandsea]

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

I can, I promise 👍🏻

I pulled a sickie to go to my daughter’s leavers assembly. The date was announced late and wasn’t on the “equivalent” day to previous years (which I knew I could have had off which was frustrating), I could see from the roster a leave request would be denied so I just called in sick.

Id missed others in the past due to work and my children have been such troopers about that and understand that as a working parent we can’t be there for everything - but the leavers assembly was a red line one for me. Too important

there are gonna be people judging you here @ofthelandandsea but you do you and what’s right for your dc.

id personally go with I had a bout for D&V last night - feeling okay today but don’t want to risk work /passing it on just in case (works better if you have a 48 hr d&v policy because your just following policy then)

Equally, this isn't aimed at you, but you realise that the union is its members, i.e. you. If you're unable to support yourself and your colleagues, say by organising to ensure you get reasonable time off for things that are important to you, then sure you end up with the logic of pulling a sickie.

Schools don't generally just 'get rid of a teacher'. Unions are the best employment lawyers out there. Unfortunately, we are limited when the staff are basically committing gross misconduct.

Some of the responses on here are ridiculous- it’s one day ffs. You only live once OP and your little one won’t be little forever. Just do it and don’t feel guilt.

They'll be lots of parents who are unable to attend because they have to work.

Which doesn’t mean OP needs to put up with her shit work?

You're entitled to request unpaid parental leave and unpaid leave.

I would have requested one of those but you're possibly too late now. Personally I would try.

I understand though as I used to work in a school and it does mean you need to miss out on things. I did request unpaid leave for first day of school etc and it was granted. I missed all plays though and had to arrange for family to attend instead. Always felt shitty about it though.

@ofthelandandsea if this is just admin time and it doesn’t sound like it would affect anyone just do it! Obviously you will flexi it and get it done another time.

what is your plan - go in and feign illness ? You can say youce vomited at work? Or take the whole day off? It is this kind of inflexibility that leads to people doing this kind of shit - longer term I would be looking at another job because there will be many more things your dc will do that you will want to go to plus their policy about medical appointments is insane !

I have a job that is very high pressure in the nhs and I am allowed to mostly take leave when I want unless I’m on call and even then I can try and swap the shift. No one would give 2 shits about me being flexi in essentially my own admin time because they recognise all the hard work I do.

Of course the OP is entitled to request it and the employer is entitled to decline or defer it.

No, you can't. People may have connections you know nothing about.
Regardless, it's still not acceptable behaviour.

I wouldn't

I'm a nurse and have missed things to do with my kids when younger, including working Christmas day's

To me, unfortunately its just life as a working parent.

Do you think your manager is being unfair? Yes you do. But they obviously have a reason for their thinking and if you were found out, then it's not worth it.

And say you do get away with this time ..what about next? Primary schools are always putting things on during the day that working parents struggle to attend.

All of your examples of being able to go off sick but still go to the play would not apply here since you only want a short afternoon off...you wouldn't suddenly recover from a mental health crisis, twisted knee or whatever in one day

OP is free to get another more flexible job if this one doesn't suit.

Yes I hate that they assume all parents are available in the day

For the whole day?

It’s not that simple though, is it?

I do hope you spend every second at work glued to your desk working.

People are usually pretty shit at lying when they call in sick. It’s always fairly obviously to me when someone is taking a sickle by the way they speak. Presumably you will have to speak to the Head to explain why you are off?
If you are a good at lying then go for it. You don’t seem to have an issue with it and think it’s unlikely you will get found out.

We’ve tried this is the last but only about half of the actual children turned up. It can work with older children (our Year 6s always do their end of year production in the evening) but with Reception it’s less likely they’ll all turn up.

OP…as a teacher it’s hard always missing your child’s school events…but that’s the path we chose! Some schools are more accommodating, but I fully accept that it’s not always possible to cover staff. Especially at busy times of the year like Christmas, where many staff would want time off to see their own children doing stuff. It becomes a logistical/staffing nightmare, so a blanket policy is usually in place.

It might seem harsh if you’re a TA, as you might be thinking, “but the teacher will still be there, they’ll manage!” However, there can’t be a “one rule for you and another for everyone else” can there?

I've never lied about being ill to get time off.
As it is I've never had jobs that involved me being 'glued' anywhere, I spent a lot of time in laboratories.

Ultimately thats the options though...abide by the rules of work or find a more flexible job that suits your wishes.

Not have the perks of your current job and take sick days when they deny one of your requests.

If you’re hardly ever off sick then why not, have a sickie and enjoy it. Other people do it and some people get signed off for months for stress but go on holiday/events etc.

Go and wear a disguise! You could have fun with this by making yourself as unrecognisable as possible 😉

If you’d only need to miss the end of the day and it wouldn’t implicate cover could you book it off for a medical / blood test / dentist appt?

Your DD won’t be wondering why you are not there as you would have had a discussion beforehand and she will know you are not going.

If you're ok with it, do it. Its not that morally reprehensible. So much of life is dictated by work and I think it's ok to say fuck it sometimes, especially when it comes to our children. I don't doubt you already miss a lot. If they won't be flexible despite there being a clear possibility for flexibility then that's a shame, and again fuck it.

The idea that teachers from the schools are going to be meeting up and gossiping to the extent they realise that you specifically weren't really sick on one Friday in December is so far fetched.

Ours always turn up. We do it every year.