Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tempted to pull a sickie?

501 replies

ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 06:28

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

OP posts:
GlassBluebird · 04/12/2025 18:17

BringBackCatsEyes · 04/12/2025 09:57

Do schools really not allow time off for funerals?
You would be declined time to go to your own Mother's funeral?

Show quote history

I was originally declined time to go to my mother in law's funeral on multiple occasions for numerous reasons (after putting the same request in again, not multiple fake requests 😂).

My favourite reason being that I was only allowed the actual time of the funeral off, so was presumably supposed to come to register the children, leave, and then return to see them out the door.

GlassBluebird · 04/12/2025 18:19

I love all of the comments about how there should be evening performances so working parents can attend. Who is staffing these evening performances, unpaid, after hours? Oh yes. The teachers 🙄

GlassBluebird · 04/12/2025 18:23

landlordhell · 04/12/2025 06:57

We do it every year. We stress to parents how important it is. Only occasionally one child doesn’t return.

Show quote history

I think this is very dependent on the school's demographic. There's no way many of ours would return after 5pm (assuming the performance is for working parents), especially not in the middle of winter.

HangryShaker · 04/12/2025 21:44

ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 06:39

I’m trying to think of how it could bite me and I can’t.

DD attends a very small primary school in a rural setting. I teach in a huge sprawling secondary in an urban setting, although it only takes me about twenty minutes to drive there it is a good eight miles away. There aren’t any connections between the schools.

It is silly because if it was OKd I’d only be missing the last period of the day which is actually my PPA anyway so no implications for cover.

That’s awful! If it’s your PPA then it definitely shouldn’t matter!! I’m sure you’d do the work that you’d ordinarily do in your PPA another time if you were able to go!

We are allowed to swap our PPA slots to accommodate school plays/sports days etc.

elh1605 · 04/12/2025 21:53

PersephoneParlormaid · 02/12/2025 06:34

I can’t believe that the school aren’t putting it on at night too, as so many parents work. My kids school offered you a ticket to watch, and you chose a night or day slot.

My school tried this and about 1/4 of the kids didn't return to school for performance as parents couldn't be arsed to bring them back.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 04/12/2025 21:58

elh1605 · 04/12/2025 21:53

My school tried this and about 1/4 of the kids didn't return to school for performance as parents couldn't be arsed to bring them back.

Show quote history

I do have to say that my YR, Y1,Y2 child could not have coped with an evening performance. He does have special needs (spld). He was exhausted after school. Luckily he was never the star performer in a primary school play!

ThankYouNigel · 04/12/2025 22:23

GlassBluebird · 04/12/2025 18:19

I love all of the comments about how there should be evening performances so working parents can attend. Who is staffing these evening performances, unpaid, after hours? Oh yes. The teachers 🙄

Agree, and also nobody is considering the children, especially those who are young. My DD is 4 and currently in Reception. She eats her dinner at 6pm and is fast asleep by 7pm. She is tired after school. There is no way I would expect her to return to school to suit parents. I guess children over 7 may be OK, but adults should ultimately always put themselves out more than young children.

ThatBlackCat · 05/12/2025 05:43

Do it! These things don't happen often. Do it without regret.

IsntItDarkOut · 05/12/2025 09:21

DDs primary did the Christmas shows over 2 nights for year 5/6 as they couldn’t fit it all in during the day in the hall.
Problem is lots of parents only brought their children on the night they were coming to see them. They didn’t want to come out in the freezing temperatures and stand around outside waiting for them to come out (45 minutes one night! I don’t know why we couldn’t stand in the hall!).
So it would be chaos. I had a big row with them in year 6 as DD couldn’t come anyway as she had other commitments for clubs/music performance (rather than just being in choir for them). I think because they knew she would turn up normally.

BatshitOutofHell · 06/12/2025 09:15

What did you do, Op? I hope you went to see the play!

A lifetime of working has taught me that there are always people in the workplace who take liberties. You are not one of those. I worked with someone who hardly ever showed up for work and was supported by the boss (who was in love with her). I remember feeling like such an idiot because I and others were so terrified of losing our jobs that we never put a foot wrong and covered for her countless times on top of our own work, which often entailed working extra hours etc. And now I don't take liberties in the workplace, but witnessing what I have has given me the confidence to do something that for me is quite "wild" or transgressive every now and then (very rare). And you know what? I don't regret it in the least.

Coco1379 · 06/12/2025 18:23

Because you’re not sick and you’re lying to your employer!

Bourneo · 06/12/2025 18:28

I'm a teacher, 100% take a sickie and start looking for a job in a school that allows you to go to things like this. I've never been stopped from going. My head teacher has even split my class into the other year groups if there's no cover!

ofcoursethatsnormal · 06/12/2025 18:54

ofthelandandsea · 02/12/2025 06:32

I hate sounding antagonistic here but why would I lose my job for one day off sick?

After all, even if I was really unwell I wouldn’t be under house arrest.

Show quote history

Because you aren’t sick and therefore not entitled to the day off.

MyObservations · 06/12/2025 19:18

I'm in no doubt that this will be unpopular; a similar point was raised not so long ago and, to be honest, I'm surprised it's come up again. I am quite shocked that this post seems to be getting such sympathetic support. Forget all the stuff about how hard teachers work, we know that. Forget too how important it is, we know that too. The issue is very simple in my opinion. Is it right that you lie to your employer? If OP thinks it is, what are you going to do when one of your pupils lies to you? This is all about integrity but if OP thinks it's fine to lie then perhaps it's time OP thought about a change of career.

Sueeet · 06/12/2025 19:21

I worked with someone who got dismissed for pulling a sickie - she was a TA in a school.

Olive123456 · 06/12/2025 19:48

You probably shouldn't be in teaching. You seem to hate it.

stomachamelon · 06/12/2025 20:02

@Olive123456 based on what? She needs a new school not a new vocation. On the other thread about people working it’s all compromise and being present for your children. Does that apply to teachers?

ilovesooty · 06/12/2025 20:19

She's said she can't be bothered with the faff of applications and might struggle to get the part time working pattern she needs.

Bibliopuss72 · 06/12/2025 23:04

You might not be recognised, but other things can happen. I said I had to leave early to go to a dental appointment years ago, when I actually wanted to catch a train to see my friend in another city. I got run over within an hour of arriving at said city.....

Fionuala · 07/12/2025 08:18

Someone will see you and word will get back.
Believe me it will create waves.
I understand but it is a risk

esem · 07/12/2025 13:24

You have a stable job and knew the rules - so yes - you are being unreasonable and unfair on your employer to throw a sickie
You will just have to miss out on your daughter's play (sad though it is) and suck it up like the rest of us

user1471471467 · 07/12/2025 13:40

I did. Im a secondary school teacher and did it two years ago for my childs first nativity. Similar distance from my school to the primary, no links between them. I didnt request the time because they were notorious for saying no. Then a sickie would have been suspect.

Now I am in a new school who have allowed me to leave to attend this years because it falls during my PPA. Lucky for me but also for them because my alternative is to say I dont want to work there anymore.

Teaching is inflexible and demanding. Frankly a request and a no to something like this would make me seriously think about just leaving. And schools aren't exactly inundated with teaching applications anymore.

If I had been found out in my first school I'd have brazened it out. I was too sick to teach, not too sick to sit in a hall. If they sacked me then fair enough. As it was they werent able to replace me when I left because...teaching is inflexible and demanding. So I'd have fancied my chances of getting through it.

MrsS424 · 07/12/2025 14:11

I can't believe this has so many comments saying you'll get fired and it's so immoral... Bleh!. Youre a mum, your kids come first and they are only little once. Your school sounds uptight if it won't give U time off for your own children. Take the bloody day and enjoy every minute watching your kid

Fionuala · 07/12/2025 16:27

some people here don't know how punitive schools can be towards their own staff. You are in a professional job - act like one

MrsS424 · 07/12/2025 21:57

@Fionuala and this is why teachers get treated like shit and are leaving the industry in droves. Teachers are humans too - act like it.