To be tempted to pull a sickie?

[ofthelandandsea]

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

I wouldn’t say my school is the norm @MagdaLenor

Teaching isn’t flexible; you can’t have a days leave or term time holiday etc. But I have been teaching for twenty three years now and this is my sixth school, I’ve never worked in one this ridiculous over planned time off. The weird thing is they are OK about unplanned time off!

But doesn’t that mean those teachers are staying late and missing out on their own kids things?

Right. It sounds like where I work. That's the trend.
However, you may be right. I think, though, that many people don't understand how inflexible most schools are .
Anyway, it's pointless arguing about it; take a sick day if you want to. Good luck.

Be careful. If there is a risk that person A at kiddo school is friends with person B at your school and it may come up some time down the line. Don't get sacked for wanting to be a good mum.

I find it utterly depressing that a school (that is for the benefit of children) won't approve an hour off so that your child won't have to sit there disappointment that no one is there to watch them when 95% of the other children will likely have an audience member. Sadly, it's highly believable. Are you part of a big MAT by any chance?

Ah, broken Britain. It’s always wrong to lie.

I wouldnt do it. Lying to your employer is risky. There will be connections between the school you wont know about. If they find out, nobody is likely to say anything to you, but it'll be in the back of their minds and it will affect your ongoing treatment. It shouldn't really, but it will.

What does your contract say about PPA? Some schools allow it to be taken at home flexibly as long as you are at school for core hours. Have you checked what contract says exactly?

Otherwise, ask (class WhatsApp?) If anyone will be filming. I've really enjoyed watching assemblies that I've missed. I told my child who would be filming ("so and so's mummy" not that they'd actually know who that is necessarily) and we watched it together that evening. They seemed to really enjoy that and they knew id seen it as we did it together.

It's hard being a working mum. Working at a school means you get to really enjoy the holidays with your children but there are some things you just can't do.

I left teaching when I had my eldest so I would never miss any of my own children’s events.

I’d have done it in a heartbeat if I’d been forced back to teaching financially. Go for it!

Also, if I found out any of my own children’s teachers had done this, I’d back them 100%. They have every right to attend their own children’s Xmas performances, Sports Days etc. They shouldn’t even have to ask or be forced to call in sick. That’s more morally wrong to them as parents.

Good luck!

I work in a secondary school and my daughter is at primary school and I've had this exact situation. Pull the sickie! You'll never get these days back when they're little and on the 0.0000001% chance you got caught, take the disciplinary 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'd take that risk over my child looking for me in a crowd and I wasn't there. You'll get the judgmental people on here you always do, often the ones who aren't in your situation and think teachers get enough time off etc, it's irrelevant, you're a mum before you're anything else. You can't be sacked for it and actually if your workplace was a little bit more understanding then they probably would have only lost you for a couple of hours, not the full day. You aren't the first to do it and definitely won't be the last. My colleague had this issue last Christmas and we convinced her to go (we aren't allowed either).. she was so nervous because our deputy heads child goes to the same school and she was worried the child's dad might know who she is and tell his wife. We all agreed it was worth the risk and when she got there, the deputy head was there herself!!

I'll have a lot of people who disagree with my opinion which is fine, but the FACT is that if you dropped dead tomorrow they'd have your job advertised next week, always choose your family x

Go. You won't get this time back. And I would suggest that this might be a good time to reflect on whether you want the rest of her childhood to be working somewhere where your wellbeing and family are treated with such disrespect.

OMG I find it frustrating to read schools are like this. The people I work with are amazing and let us go to anything and everything. I feel sad that it’s not a thing. Like, at least in other professions you can use annual
leave for this stuff! Sometimes, I swap out my ppa and have done to attend my DCs events in the past but I’m allowed to go even without swapping my ppa

If its your ppa tell them you'll make time up, ask your union rep to go with you - this is not an unreasonable request - goodwill etc - I've worked in schools for years and I put other people's children before my own - because that was expected - and I bitterly regret it - especially as the culture has become more family friendly now.

I would.

I’m a teacher at a secondary school too OP and if I’m honest your school sounds awful! We can have time off for important things for our children (school plays, sports days etc) - it’s not forever, a couple of days a year for what, 7 years? (Haven’t needed any time since my kid went to secondary school - everything is in the evening now!). You don’t get those moments back and my Head understands that. If cover is an issue, we even help each other in the department out - I’d happily cover a lesson for someone to go see their child in a school play. I guess that’s why my school has very low staff turnover, we are actually valued in our jobs. I will work hours every evening planning, marking etc and in return I can take off a couple of hours a couple of times a year to see my child at their school and see the smile on their face when they see I’m there. Find a new school OP (one not in a MAT!)

Just wondering how they can actually stop you from leaving and if anyone asks just tell them you are taking your PPA at home?

Do it. You only get so many school plays and the school will be absolutely fine without you for one day.

Teacher here-do it.
Do not miss this chance. We won’t remember how hard we worked on our death beds, only who we loved and who loved us.

Enjoy 💓

I used to teach in primary schools. I'm a pianist. Then I went to be an advisor in the LA and my patch covered primary and secondary schools
@ofthelandandsea your request to attend your child's Nativity, first day at school drop-off, nursery graduation etc etc. would, in the schools I taught in, would have been pre-empted by the headteachers and you would have been asked when it was etc etc.
I used to run extra hymn practice, singing and music lessons etc for the whole key stage to let teachers out to attend this sort of event.
As an advisor, the schools in my patch had all sorts of ways to cover so that parents could get to their children's keystone events.
This was back in the day before academies came in properly. I'm very sad to think that this practice of looking after your colleagues and marking their family milestones seems to have got lost and you've got this dilemma.

That's not what's happening though! You aren't sick and popping out for paracetamol, you're actively lying about being unwell and proactively coming up with a cover story in case you're caught.

There is no way on this earth a headteacher is going to believe you just happened to be unwell on the day of your kids school play and miraculously felt OK to go. Look in the mirror, pretend you're in thst disciplinary, and say the words out loud. It's so clearly bollocks and if they don't sack you for it they will look for a watertight reason.

You took a school job for the flexibility of the holidays so just be a grown up and accept that that privilege comes with other drawbacks - like having to actually be there during term time.

I told my line manager that either it's approved as leave or unfortunately I'll be off with the stress of letting my children down.

Also if you're signed off you're not signed off from life. That's a line HR have said.

My school is very tricky to get things like that authorised. For example my friend wants to attend her daughters nativity- will be gone 50 mins- and I have offered to cover. We have so few staff and absences have to be covered in house. All staff asking for time have had a verbal from the head. Also for time off for operations, child issues etc. it’s ridiculous.

What it means in effect is that good will is low. So when they need a hand or something covered/ manned no one wants to do it.

@ofthelandandsea I would stay off with a 24 hour type illness and go to the play. Your kids are only young once.

No, you shouldn’t do this. You chose to work in a school which requires you to be there. As such, you get 13 other weeks off.

If it’s the end of the day & you are not letting anyone down can’t you just have someone ring to say you are needed at home or yo collect your daughter? Not a complete lie

Exactly this. You can’t have it both ways. You have all the school holidays off so that means you have to miss things during term time. Same as most other school staff