To cancel Christmas

[LiftAndLetLift]

AIBU to want to not engage at all with Christmas this year?

It's just me & DH. I have decorations in the loft but cba to get them down, it feels like another job to do!

I don't want to invite any family round, host food & drinks, worry about presents and buying stuff no one needs.

So - no roast dinner, no mad supermarket rush, no inviting people around because 'I should' - nothing, just pretend Christmas doesn't exist!

I'm not religious, I don't have small kids or any family that are enjoyable company and don't have disposable income to waste.

Has anyone else done this?

Well the op did ask. Would you like people to ignore hwe or say who gives a crap 😂

Because there's bugger all open & everyone else is seeing their families on that day, so you might as well do it then 🤣

I've been cooking a full roast dinner for varying numbers of people, including when it's just us, and I find that's by far the most taxing part of Christmas day for me, so this year I've decided to scrap it and get a bunch of nice party food. I'm only making a couple of homemade elements that everyone loves and eats, and I'm just having our little family unit for the first time in a good while.

I'm just generally stressing less this year and am really looking forward to it ☺️ I could be worrying about the fact I feel like the kids should have a couple more presents but I'm so excited by what I've got them. We moved a couple of months ago back to our long awaited home and we had to throw most of our old decorations, so part of me is worried that the house won't look magical enough, but I think the tree looks lovely.

I really think it's worth giving yourself a break. It would be much nicer for everyone including yourself, than cancelling it. It's not easy but it's so worth just scaling back a bit and remembering the important things, as cliche as that sounds!

Oh, God no YANBU!
I am divorced and kids have flown the nest.
Over the years I've had some wonderful Christmases and I've had some awful ones.
But last year there was no pressure on me to do anything and I was really excited about it.
When other people heard about my plans (or lack thereof) they were all going, "Oh, but you can't be on your own at Christmas! You must come to us!"
People were being nice, of course, and I am lucky that there are people who care but they just weren't getting it. I WANTED this.
2 days before Christmas I pre-ordered a massive Chinese takeaway from my local restaurant and I picked it all up on Christmas Eve and popped it in the fridge.
I had a truly blissful 4 days of seeing no-one and speaking to no-one. I spent quality time with my guitars, my music and my drinks cabinet.
I had been told that if I changed my mind I only had to let folks know. Very kind.
But honestly, after so many Christmases spent with my own dysfunctional family arguing over nothing, why would I want to come and spend it with yours?
I hope everyone enjoys the forthcoming Christmas with all of the joy which it can bring but seriously, do what YOU want and not what others think you should be doing.
I won't be doing the same this year though.
No.
This year I thought I'd go for some Indian takeaway. 😄😄😄

ABIU
I agree one 💯 like you l can't be bothered, l just love having that time (its not Christmas time its ME time) while seeing cars gridlocked trying to buy the tail end of what's left in the shops, everybody with miserable faces, arguing, shouting at the kids, laden down with bags of things they don't even remember what they've bought, l could go on and on. Great to do absolutely nothing ....
Have a great non Christmas

That sounds utterly blissful. Guitars, takeaway and the drinks cabinet. It’s my dream!

This is Xmas ableism at its finest! The incredulity and assumption OP has no joy in her life or must have marital problems if she doesn’t conform to the forced jollity of turkey, tinsel & tat!! This is what makes Xmas all the worse! The Xmas police!

Again, people wonder why I get quite assertive about not "doing" Christmas. It's because of people like this who feel entitled to call names and project their strange bullshit onto others.

People think I'm exaggerating when I talk about Christmas feeling enforced. This thread has proved that I'm not.

Do what you want OP, it isn't mandatory (despite what some seem to believe!).

I'm on my own every Christmas and I vary between doing nothing and going all in.
I'm half in this year though! Got the Dec's up but I CBA cooking so will spend 2 days grazing on picky bits and booze!

That’s my Christmas. DH and I don’t have kids and aren’t that fussed. We never bother with a tree etc. some years we will go to family for Xmas day and I always get my parents and siblings a gift but that’s it. Tbh I am just happy to have time off work.

you aren’t exaggerating at all. It’s alarming how much other people project. I find it so odd that a lot of people are so blinkered in life that they can’t see other people don’t think the same as them.

Christmas isn’t mandatory, but you’d think it was from a lot of people’s reactions.

To think that not wanting to decorate your house or eat a roast dinner means you are a misery with no friends and no life - madness!

Personally I’m a fan of xmas lights. So I would probably put some lights up anyway but otherwise no you don’t have to host etc. if you are at home you could just get a takeaway or fancy food and watch some movies with a drink. You don’t have to do any hosting if you don’t want to.

I think I would probably spend the morning soaking in the bath, getting a hair mask/face mask on and then straight into clean pjs to get slowly and throughly tipsy.

How will others feel about that? I know it’s not seen as very in vogue at the moment to consider other people before ‘protecting your own peace’ but quite frankly I think it’s definitely worth thinking about who you might upset- I’m not talking about being a people pleaser for those who don’t show up for you, but is there anyone who is genuinely there for you who might be hurt or sad not to see you?

If not (ouch) then go for it!

Yup I’m not in any way shape or form connected to Christianity but I love xmas, I think the idea of a mid winter festival is cheering so I’m all in. I have muslim friends who get their xmas trees out with great enthusiasm. A little joy in the dark of winter and time off to spend with family and friends is lovely.

Equally if it’s just not your thing no-one should feel hassled into it.

Do what YOU want.
I'm not feeling festive this year. Do you know what is miserable? My DH losing his Dad and uncle within 6 months of each other and this christmas being the first without them both. My dad having cancer and my grandma being sick. I honestly couldn't give a flying f* about decorations and christmas dinner.
We have kept everything as "normal" as possible for our kids but if they weren't at home i'd be closing the door and waiting for the whole thing to pass by.

What savings, she just said she has no spare cash??

If that's what you want just do it. There have been years where I've not wanted to celebrate, but with having kids I've had to suck it up. It didn't turn out to bad in the end.

There are many people who don't want to celebrate. So I just say, to what you want. Let family know you're skipping christmas this year.

And why the hell should she donate to charity just because she doesn’t want to do Christmas the way other people think she should? That was such a batshit comment.

Don't blame you. So fed up it. Just tired and overwhelmed. I hate it all tbh. Every year the feeling gets worse.

DH is in hospital and I really haven't started to feel remotely festive. Usually I love Advent but I'm thinking I can't be arsed. Luckily cards were done before this happened and he should be home soon, but putting the tree up in ten days or so feels like gilding a turd, despite the tree being my favourite bit. We'll have the usual food though. I suspect we're not alone in feeling like this. It's been a tough year for so many people and next year looks worse.

The only thing I'm looking forward to is that my childhood best friend is due het baby in January. She's been trying for a baby for years and i'm so excited I could combust.
I'm not filled with dread for the new year for once. I'm cautiously optimistic despite having a year filled with grief and hardship. I'm hoping and praying for a better year next year. It feels like Christmas is another hurdle in our house.

I care about other people's feelings. But I was NOT put on this Earth to keep other people feeling comfortable about what I do or don't do at Christmas time.

If I'd done something serious to upset someone I knew, I'd want to fix it. But if someone is mopey because I - an adult who presumably lives somewhere else - am not Christmass-y enough to satisfy their whims, then their feelings are their business, and I'm not responsible for them.

It's not my job to completely overhaul my personal plans in order to fawn and comfort someone just because they sulk at the idea that I'm lacking in the plastic bauble department. What are they, six years old?

Deciding to turn my own private home into a performative celebration space and make travel plans for days just because an aunt might grumble is the definition of a "people pleaser".

I might be "protecting my peace", but what are you protecting yourself from? Other people's mild disappointment? "Ouch" yourself.

The elf police are here!

😉😂