To cancel Christmas

[LiftAndLetLift]

AIBU to want to not engage at all with Christmas this year?

It's just me & DH. I have decorations in the loft but cba to get them down, it feels like another job to do!

I don't want to invite any family round, host food & drinks, worry about presents and buying stuff no one needs.

So - no roast dinner, no mad supermarket rush, no inviting people around because 'I should' - nothing, just pretend Christmas doesn't exist!

I'm not religious, I don't have small kids or any family that are enjoyable company and don't have disposable income to waste.

Has anyone else done this?

Sums up how I feel. I like socialising but often ending up seeing friends less over Christmas as they’re off visiting family.

I don’t eat meat so most of the food doesn’t interest me (though I will admit M&S have knocked it out of the park with their vegan Xmas wrap).

My biggest issue though is the booze. I’m in recovery. I don’t need all the bloody constant adverts for, and offers of fucking alcohol.

I hate the pressure of a 'perfect Christmas'. ime (as an adult organising things) there has always been some part of the extended family who are upset or disappointed. You cannot keep everyone happy.

Having separated from ex when dc were 3&5 I have always celebrated Christmas on whatever day dc were with me / and which suited other family. That ethos has continued, and been extended as various dc (and dgc) have had their own accommodations to make - either with their in-laws, or if their own relationships had broken down.

We have our own family traditions spread across the whole of December. Something with Christmas music (might be a carol concert, might be a jazz night). A mince pie competition - usually everyone comes for that one. A lunch / afternoon when we have all the M&S Christmas Chriastmas Party snacks and nibbles. And we judge them! In all of them, if you can join in you can, if not - well there is always 'Next Christmas'...

I did this once. In theory it seemed like a good idea, but in the end it was miserable, do not recommend. Maybe just keep it low key but have some elements. But its your decision in the end, maybe its right for you.

still count as celebrating Christmas in my books!😂

Spent my best Christmases on a beach in countries that did not celebrate Christmas 😂- only a token tree for the tourists. Blissful.

Every way to celebrate the festive season is a great way.

But more seriously, it's an enjoyable way to spend your time. I really think pretending that it's not a special day when it's thrown at your face from everywhere, shop, tv, everything could be less enjoyable.

Sometimes the special thing about Christmas is breaking all the Christmas rules and just doing what suits you!

Buy a nice steak and ready made sides. Fling them in the oven. Watch shit TV.

Job done.

I think it’s so weird the way people still expect people to be fun, happy or even bothered about a day in the calendar! Yes I know bah humbug but it’s really not all that! Great if you love it fill your boots. But the social pressure for everyone to is just weird. Do w’ever you want OP. Who says your house should be decorated for Xmas? Nearer the time you might find some pleasure or even a desire to do a small seasonal marker of this time of year - ie winter time, warmth, light, seasonal food or a walk in nature - lighting a candle or enjoying a mince pie. And that would be enough. When you take the pressure & expectation away it sometimes free you to then feel like you want to engage in & pick & choose what you want or don’t want to do. Would we get so pressurised & guilt tripped over what is effectively an extended glorified roast that just goes on & on? Rewrite the rules of what Xmas looks like for you this year & just bcos you might have felt different in years past doesn’t mean you’re meant to be feeling & engaging in the same this year. Hence why people go away or use it as a chance to do other things. Do you!

I love the Christmas decorations so I’d still do the tree and have a nice meal on Christmas Day. Christmas can be whatever you want to make it.

We are two adults, and we never "do" Christmas - it's fab!
I do send presents, & some cards, because other people like it. We also give each other a present, and we often have a bottle of champagne on Xmas Day, because no need to drive anywhere!
But I certainly don't bother with the faff and fuss of a tree and decorations. I have also never cooked a Christmas dinner, becccausecwe both hate turkey, and I don't like "roast dinners". So it's whatever we want to eat, with no pressure.
(I buy one box of mince pies, because I like them warm with cheese. That is the sum total of my "special Xmas food shopping" 🤣).

It's one day. No fuss. Then crack on as normal.
OP, you can do whatever the hell you want - there are no rules. Go on a long bike ride/order in a curry/lock the door and ignore the whole thing/whatever - it's your choice!

Why is it "miserable" to relax and enjoy a quiet, fuss-free day??

I have kids so it’s different but I’d always wanted to go away for Christmas so we did this two years ago. We rented an air BnB in South Wales for a week and it was absolutely gorgeous. Huge 5 bedroom house in the middle of nowhere- only sheep around for company. Had a big Tesco shop delivered. Spent Christmas Day morning in a hot tub. It was bliss.

I did decorate a little bit at home for December but we didn’t bother with a tree because we get a real one and it didn’t really make sense to. DC only got a handful of gifts each because the ‘gift’ was the trip away (plus we could only take so many in the car).

Honestly loved it and would do it all again. DH, on the other hand, found it rather stressful apparently and wouldn’t do it again!

Seems fair. If you won’t enjoy it don’t do it! Maybe do something else that you enjoy instead, doesn’t have to be Christmassy x

I think that you have free rein to "do" or not do Christmas as it suits you or to whatever extent it suits you. However I guess I'm wondering about your logic if you just don't like Christmas or if it's a difficult time of year, or if you 'cba' because actually you're not in a great headspace or a bit down? In which case please do what you need to and look after yourself but don't isolate yourself either.

I love Christmas and enjoy the decorations and presents and all the food and wine, so this sounds completely miserable to me. Even if you don't like it and don't want to do decorations and gifts I don't understand why you still wouldn't make it a special day with good food, treating yourself. It's something fun to look forward to in winter, why not enjoy it.

You don't need to do anything (obviously) if you don't want to however I like to celebrate every 'special' day there is - otherwise 365 days of the year are pretty much the same. Surely anything that makes a day a bit different, a little bit special, lifts life out of the mundane.

I halved the decorations in this house 4 years ago and didn't bother with a tree as I wasn't well, no one noticed.
So I continued on.
Takes half an hour to decorate and half an hour to take down.
Perfect.
I do lovely food over Christmas and baking and mh adult children love that.

If they weren't here I wouldn't do anything, similar to pre having children.

In fact, I would go somewhere hot for a fortnight.
Have mentioned it to our children and they prefer to be at home unfortunately as they are out socialising a lot with friends.

Why that day though? Why not the winter solstice, or 10th December or any other day? That’s the bit I don’t get.

We're just 3 adults. We are definitely doing Christmas, DH has started decorating and I'm supposed to be fluffing the tree.

We're not doing a roast, its going to be steak, roast potatoes and veg with a peppercorn sauce.

I don't celebrate it, once you realise it isn't compulsory it makes life much simpler.

As an extended family this is a possibility for next year. We are talking about having a holiday in a country where Christmas isn't much of a thing. We all feel that it's a bit samey and doesn't seem like 5 minutes since the last one. The day itself is largely taken up with cooking and eating and the run up is stressful and expensive. We would enjoy spending the money on an experience more than gifts for the sake of it. Not sure what it would be like trying to ignore it while staying put though. Might cause me a little fomo, despite my better judgement!

The idea is that it's for fun. If you're not finding it fun or enjoyable, then do whatever is fun and enjoyable to you.

since moving to a hot country that celebrates on christmas eve... I put on a massive buffet . This years menu is sitting in front of me now .. so for main meat ..on the bbq have bbq pork tenderloins, bbq honey garlic chicken skewers and also bbq veg kabobs. in the air fryer I will have chicharons cooking same time..in oven pigs in blankets.. premade the day before... mexican street corn salad.. curry rice shrimp salad, then the day of... tostones, white rice and double baked stuffed potatoes and a large fresh baguette with butter on the side. My husbands best friend who has lived here for 25 years...his wife, who he met here.. and their 16 and 13 year old daughters (our godchildren),.and another friend who is canadian but lives here as he has a child here..so both of them also as he has his 10 yr old this christmas...for 5 days. Christmas day? cinnamon french toast with bacon and sausages .. lunch and the rest of the day... snacking on leftovers adding in a cheese plate, Then after lunch, face timing our grandmonsters in Canada to see their haul lol

It's not the law - there are no Christmas decorations police coming round to judge.

I quite admire people who just shrug and say 'it's just another day'.

I like getting some decorations up and it does break up the long long winter....

You won’t be the only one feeling this way!

It’s fine if you’re both on board (and any adult kids). I wouldn’t do the full Christmas dinner but I’d probably get some nice pre-prepared things from Marks or somewhere so we were at least eating some nice food on the day with least effort.

It's just dh and I this year , we haven't had a good year health wise , our much loved pet died and we just can't muster up the enthusiasm . So once work has finished we plan to shut up and hide from the world for a few days . Will probably make a spag bol or chilli the day before to have on Christmas Day and just jackets for boxing day .