Page 4 | To cancel Christmas

Hellodarknessyouoldprick · 02/12/2025 12:10

LlynTegid · 01/12/2025 19:28

Your choice, perhaps donate savings to charity.

Why? For heavens sake.

Hellodarknessyouoldprick · 02/12/2025 12:11

If it wasn’t for dh (who likes Christmas) and the children, I wouldn’t bother.

If you aren’t religious it’s a bit pointless. I wouldn’t be having decorations just to sit and stare at them with dh.

It is just a day. It’s a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus. If you don’t believe in him, why bother? You can have a toast dinner and see people any other bank holiday.

Franklyannoyed · 02/12/2025 12:19

I think Xmas is what you make it, but do find it a little sad you can’t think of anything joyful to do together, a lovely meal, some special little gifts. We are also away for Xmas this year so I’m doing a mock one before we go, with pressies and a full Xmas meal, as I don’t want to fly presents half way round the world. It’s just a fun enjoyable thing for us to all do together. If you can’t be arsed cooking then a lovely takeaway treat you’d not normally have, or find somewhere with space you can both go out for dinner? Personally I’d not be up for just pretending it didn’t exist, and if I was you I’d think through maybe if your desire to do so, and your husband not caring is a sign of deeper unhappiness.

Franklyannoyed · 02/12/2025 12:20

Hellodarknessyouoldprick · 02/12/2025 12:11

If it wasn’t for dh (who likes Christmas) and the children, I wouldn’t bother.

If you aren’t religious it’s a bit pointless. I wouldn’t be having decorations just to sit and stare at them with dh.

It is just a day. It’s a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus. If you don’t believe in him, why bother? You can have a toast dinner and see people any other bank holiday.

Edited

Many people aren’t religious, but use it as a reason to spend time with loved ones, have a lovely meal, give some lovely special gifts, and bring a little specialness in,

ChocolateCinderToffee · 02/12/2025 12:30

Why don't you sit down with your OH and decide what the two of you want to do? There may be some things you like and want to keep. I used to work with someone who said she and her husband spent Christmas day with their feet up, just the two of them. They'd have a nice lunch, a bottle of champagne and some expensive chocolates and just vegetate. I do very little myself - I grew up in a house where Christmas was full of visitors and one parent going the whole hog while the other hated the disruption and it was extremely stressful.

pizzaHeart · 02/12/2025 12:40

BauhausOfEliott · 01/12/2025 20:42

This is all fine provided you tell everyone else well in advance what your plans are (it would be a bit harsh if your family have bought you gifts because they were unaware that you weren’t taking part) and provided your DH is also happy to pretend Christmas doesn’t exist. If you don’t want to see your family, that’s fine, but if he wants to see his, I think it would be a bit churlish of you to refuse to go with him, provided he sorts out any presents for them.

I also think there’s a middle ground between ‘let’s not do big Christmas dinners and seeing extended family’ and ‘let’s pretend the whole business doesn’t exist and sit there being miserable because everything’s closed and there’s nothing to do’.

You don’t have to do the traditional Christmas, but you could still have a really nice, special day with great food and drinks and so on with just the two of you.

When people say “I just want it to be like any other day” I think they often forget that it’s very hard to do that when everything is closed, TV and radio are all Christmas themed, pubs and restaurants are usually booked out for Christmas meals etc.

I’d love to have Christmas with just me and DP with any of the stressing around family etc but I’d still want a special festive day for us, one way or another.

I agree with @BauhausOfEliott - about middle ground and as it’s a day at home with no where to go I’d like it be a bit more special than the ordinary day so I’d do what makes it special for you.
if it’s waking up late, having lots of sex and than have your favourite food and wine in bed - it’s fine.
Or getting up early and going for a walk, than coming back to the house and have a bath and lots of party food just for two of you.
The idea is to have fun whatever it means for you

Hellodarknessyouoldprick · 02/12/2025 12:44

Franklyannoyed · 02/12/2025 12:20

Many people aren’t religious, but use it as a reason to spend time with loved ones, have a lovely meal, give some lovely special gifts, and bring a little specialness in,

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Yea, but op says she doesn’t want to see anyone.

BarbieShrimp · 02/12/2025 12:50

verycloakanddaggers · 01/12/2025 19:27

You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but it's so little effort to put up a few decorations and have a nice meal, I can't see why you wouldn't unless you have a big reason for disliking Christmas?

I think a quiet Christmas is nicer than no Christmas.

Whenever I say I don't like Christmas (not miserable, I just save my merriment for other more personal, less arbitrary things), I'm constantly told that I "don't have to participate".

..and then when I take them at their word and don't participate, I get comments like this. "Oh, just a little prezzie. Oh, just a little bauble. It's 'nicer'. Be nice!"

Ugh.

BarbieShrimp · 02/12/2025 12:56

Franklyannoyed · 02/12/2025 12:19

I think Xmas is what you make it, but do find it a little sad you can’t think of anything joyful to do together, a lovely meal, some special little gifts. We are also away for Xmas this year so I’m doing a mock one before we go, with pressies and a full Xmas meal, as I don’t want to fly presents half way round the world. It’s just a fun enjoyable thing for us to all do together. If you can’t be arsed cooking then a lovely takeaway treat you’d not normally have, or find somewhere with space you can both go out for dinner? Personally I’d not be up for just pretending it didn’t exist, and if I was you I’d think through maybe if your desire to do so, and your husband not caring is a sign of deeper unhappiness.

Really? An adult - whom you do not know personally - not doing anything for Christmas by choice makes you (presumably another grown adult) "sad"?

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 02/12/2025 12:57

If I could afford Christmas this year I think it would make me more in the Christmas spirit, but things are tight and i really CBA.

I only have my youngest at home whose 17, DH is not really bothered. I am going to put the tree up but I really don't want to, prob mid December. None of the other tat I normally get out.

We do have other children popping in at Christmas with the grandkids, just going to stick out a buffet because I refuse to spend 3-4 hours in the kitchen, running round like an idiot, for a massive meal that only get half eaten and that's normally before I sit down!

I am going to order take away Christmas eve, and probably boxing day.

Lots of wine and chocolate in.

somanysugababes · 02/12/2025 12:58

I don’t see why you have to do ANYTHING related to Christmas whatsoever if it doesn’t interest you - I couldn’t give a shit, it’s utterly meaningless to me as a non - Christian - I don’t like the food, songs, anything - people saying ‘do something festive’ - I don’t even know why I’d want to do that! It just doesn’t interest me at all. I see the family I want to see all year round, so there’s no need to do it on one particular day, and I don’t care about the others so no interest in seeing them. I don’t need presents, I don’t see the point buying things for adults who earn their own money, to celebrate something when I don’t even know what we are celebrating! I hate nothing being open, I hate staying in, I hate watching tv and I don’t like the food… when we have more money we will be going away every year forever!

CiderWithRosie1972 · 02/12/2025 13:03

Why not?

Sounds very peaceful which is one of the things that Christmas should be about.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/12/2025 13:03

Hellodarknessyouoldprick · 02/12/2025 12:11

If it wasn’t for dh (who likes Christmas) and the children, I wouldn’t bother.

If you aren’t religious it’s a bit pointless. I wouldn’t be having decorations just to sit and stare at them with dh.

It is just a day. It’s a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus. If you don’t believe in him, why bother? You can have a toast dinner and see people any other bank holiday.

Edited

Before Christianity, people used to have a midwinter celebration - to cheer up the long, dark months of winter, @Hellodarknessyouoldprick - and I can still see the point of doing that, even if you don’t want to celebrate Christmas. But it is 100% personal choice, in my book, and if you don’t feel the need of a midwinter feast, no-one is going to send the Festive Police after you, with the tinsel handcuffs, and I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day on repeat!

Hellodarknessyouoldprick · 02/12/2025 13:11

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/12/2025 13:03

Before Christianity, people used to have a midwinter celebration - to cheer up the long, dark months of winter, @Hellodarknessyouoldprick - and I can still see the point of doing that, even if you don’t want to celebrate Christmas. But it is 100% personal choice, in my book, and if you don’t feel the need of a midwinter feast, no-one is going to send the Festive Police after you, with the tinsel handcuffs, and I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day on repeat!

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People act horrified if you don’t want to celebrate anything though. I know a few people who don’t do anything for Christmas, or who had it just for the children when they were small and don’t bother now that they are adults with their own lives.

It’s not a big deal, but people love to make this sort of thing thier business!

LittleBitofBread · 02/12/2025 13:15

DP and I don't really bother with Christmas, at least not with the seeing family or buying presents bits of it. We have a roast chicken and roast potatoes on Christmas Eve and make sure we make too much, so there's leftovers on Christmas Day and we don't have to cook.
We watch telly and films, listen to music, read, maybe go for a walk.
I have fairy lights up all year round all over the house anyway, so it always feels cosy and festive.
In the past we've been away for Christmas (Portugal, Spain,South India) and I did like seeing the lights up in the towns and all the shops decorated etc. Can't afford to go away this year, sadly, but that's OK.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/12/2025 13:30

You are absolutely right, @Hellodarknessyouoldprick - how anyone celebrates or doesn’t celebrate Christmas or midwinter or whatever is no-one else’s business.

We do do Christmas, even though the dses are all grown up, but I can honestly see a time when they all have their own homes and families, and we might end up doing Christmas on our own, and a laid-back non-Christmassy Christmas might be exactly what we want.

BiddyPopthe2nd · 02/12/2025 13:54

So don’t put up Christmas decorations. Is there anything you would like to make your home cosy for midwinter though - nice rug, glowing candles, suitably winter/jewel coloured flowers..?

So don’t invite people round. But think about what you and DH want. Are there special foods that make the quieter holiday time special that you can buy in, or grown up treats to enjoy…if it’s just you 2, could you enjoy a nice bottle of wine and a pre-prepared lobster mortar or good steak dinner, or even a few nice cheeses to enjoy over a few days?

is there anything you would like to do? Like take a few days quiet reading in the evenings, or some good walks in the cold, or find time to do some museum visit or a regular concert (not a Christmas carols one) etc? Do you need to buy/borrow from library/root out from shelves a stack of good books? Do you need to stock up on firewood? Do you have favourite winter drinks (specific tea, good hot chocolate, port for hot port, …) or a nice packet of shortbread to nibble to go along with those?

Even if you don’t want the full on seasonal events, do you want to make time for a quiet coffee with 1 friend, or lunch with 1 couple in a restaurant - instead of hosting? Or just you and DH hibernating together?

It’s absolutely fine to skip Christmas. But have a think about how to get through the hibernation and depths of winter part of the season and see if some less festive elements that are not a lot of work are worth keeping.

Hedgehogx · 02/12/2025 14:08

Hi op i haven't done Christmas in years.
No Dec's cards dinners gifts ect.
Its very freeing.
This year I'm painting my whole flat out.

Christmas to me is just another day, I've never liked it not even as a child.
All the rushing spending, getting crap for people we dont speak to throughout the year.
Who can out do the next.

And now as the years have gone I've noticed it use to be one month of, Christmas now it feels more like 4 months of Christmas.

ginasevern · 02/12/2025 15:49

I think just you and your DH sounds like bliss. And with nobody to buy presents for or to and host and cook for, even more bliss! Personally I would do something though, because if nothing else it's 2 days off work. You could get in some of your favourite types of food, even if just a good cheeseboard or grazing stuff. If you drink get a favourite tipple or two or some extra special coffee. You could take a drive somewhere not too far and have a nice walk. It should be really quiet on Christmas Day. The first Christmas Day after I was widowed, I went into the city on my own and walked around by the harbourside. It was a whole new perspective and the silence was incredible.

likeafishneedsabike · 02/12/2025 18:14

Mumblechum0 · 01/12/2025 20:13

Yep, I cba either this year, we’re going somewhere hot and non Christian.
v much looking forward to it

Found my people

JustMe2026 · 02/12/2025 18:21

The comments about it being miserable are from people very clearly into it there choice..however hubby and I choose to not do anything other than eat good food and have a jama day and watch some films and for us we love it and enjoy a nice day off together

Chazbots · 02/12/2025 18:23

Yeah, me, last year.

I was fed up as I had a meltdown in previous years doing lots of food and stuff and not had anyone else help or treat us in any way. Mil stated one year she didn't care who did what but she wasn't ever going to cook...

So I said last year I wasn't doing anything and didn't. I take stuff to other family in the week before, so not completely miserable but keeping my day calm (esp as I'm ND) was great. Happy to do it again.

Ambers1984 · 02/12/2025 20:16

I think that you can do whatever you want to.. if you don't want to decorate etc i can't say i blame you... enjoy however you want even if it's doing nothing 😀

MustWeDoThis · 02/12/2025 20:18

LiftAndLetLift · 01/12/2025 19:23

AIBU to want to not engage at all with Christmas this year?

It's just me & DH. I have decorations in the loft but cba to get them down, it feels like another job to do!

I don't want to invite any family round, host food & drinks, worry about presents and buying stuff no one needs.

So - no roast dinner, no mad supermarket rush, no inviting people around because 'I should' - nothing, just pretend Christmas doesn't exist!

I'm not religious, I don't have small kids or any family that are enjoyable company and don't have disposable income to waste.

Has anyone else done this?

You do what's best for your wellbeing. Don't worry about anyone else's. Get some munchies and just enjoy your husband's time together.

ConnieHeart · 02/12/2025 20:19

2 of my friends last year did exactly that, for personal reasons. I'd do it too if I wanted. But you cant cancel it as it's still happening