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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My cleaner wants to bring her baby to my house…

115 replies

That80show · 30/11/2025 21:37

Evening all,

My cleaner (she has only been once before) has a 8 month old baby and has called today to say that her child minder is no longer available to look after him so could she bring him on Friday when she cleans my house. She said that he won’t be of any bother as he will just sleep…

As a mum of a baby of a similar age I know just how demanding looking after a baby can be and highly doubt he will sleep for the 3 hours that she is at my house.
i know she has a husband but maybe he is working that day so is unable to look after their son.
On the one hand I feel bad because I know how difficult it can be to juggle motherhood and work so I was tempted to say well bring him just this once but that I won’t accept it on a regular basis.
On the other hand I can’t see her being able to focus on cleaning my house properly which I really need as I too have a young family and busy with work.

Am I being totally unreasonable in saying no I’m sorry this isn’t going to work?

OP posts:
Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 10:59

Cyclebabble · 01/12/2025 09:14

I would try and see how it goes. I am really conscious how difficult care can be for some of us and that gets harder when your income is lower. So if possible I would accommodate.

This is not op’s problem. She is paying for a service.

In most other professions, no way in hell would we be allowed to have our baby with us while we work.

nutbrownhare15 · 01/12/2025 10:59

I would say as a one off yes but you will have to see how it goes as you know it can be challenging to clean and care for a baby at the same time.

osloslow · 01/12/2025 10:59

kisaki333 · 30/11/2025 21:46

Ever hear of "be the change you want to see in the world?" We complain employers are inflexible, that having children is hard etc etc. So why make her life harder, she's a cleaner ffs, i am pretty sure her options are limited. If you say no, she probably won't come.
Let her bring the baby but just say can she please make sure she keeps the same standard of cleaning even if it takes her longer?

Absolutely not. It’s dangerous, a health and safety ( and likely insurance ) concern, plus there is no way the cleaner will be able to get the job done to a decent standard.

SnowyPetals · 01/12/2025 11:01

My previous cleaner used to bring her 6 year old during the school holidays, but I think that would be the limit of what I would allow. That was an older child for a limited time, not a baby for an unspecified time.

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 11:03

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Edited

Most businesses have this as a policy in place because it is unlikely you can do your job properly at the same time. I would think at that age they would want to crawl around as well? As a mother we should also all know that cleaning or any household chore takes longer when we have to watch a baby or toddler. Op is paying for a service to someone who has also only been once and already messed her about a bit.

Homegrownberries · 01/12/2025 11:03

I'd try it once on the assumption that she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't really stuck. Sometimes women need to give each other a break. Men are never left holding the baby, unable to go to work.

Chichichochi · 01/12/2025 11:05

kisaki333 · 30/11/2025 21:46

Ever hear of "be the change you want to see in the world?" We complain employers are inflexible, that having children is hard etc etc. So why make her life harder, she's a cleaner ffs, i am pretty sure her options are limited. If you say no, she probably won't come.
Let her bring the baby but just say can she please make sure she keeps the same standard of cleaning even if it takes her longer?

I thought the same thing. How hard is it to give her a chance and see how it goes. It’s not a professional setting. Love seeing mums supporting other mums 🙄

Daytimetellyqueen · 01/12/2025 11:07

EINSEINSNULL · 01/12/2025 08:02

Unfortunately that won't work for us.

This! I think you need to find another cleaner as she sounds wholly unreliable.

Tdcp · 01/12/2025 11:08

I have an 8 month old, she sleeps for about an hour, total, during the day and needs a lot of attention as she's almost mobaaile and frustrated etc. yanu at all.

VikaOlson · 01/12/2025 11:09

I'm amazed by all these 8 month olds that sleep for 4 hours or will sit in a chair for 3 hours 😂Why have I never met any of them? I've only met the crawling around, everything in their mouth, wanting attention kinds.

Sartre · 01/12/2025 11:10

Definitely not. She’ll be distracted and won’t do a great job, plus the chemicals are dangerous. An 8 month old is a far cry from a newborn.

25percentoffeverything · 01/12/2025 11:11

As a one-off, I would consider it. Knowing fully well she will work 2.5 hours, and not 3 - nappy change, possibly feeding, putting to sleep etc.

WHERE would the baby go? If you have upstairs downstairs playpen, where she can drop him, I can see how it would work. Again, ONCE. But only if there was a place for the baby

Some women are so desperate, they end up leaving a child alone at home. "Maid" was the most unrealistic program because she always had chilcare available on tap!

That would. be my Christmas good will action, but I'd be honest that I can't keep up paying for someone to not to the job.

Feelingsunny · 01/12/2025 11:11

Speaking as an ex cleaner - I'd part company with her because she can't commit to a regular time each week. Wouldn't get as far as considering her bringing the baby.

She expects all the flexibility to come from you, nothing from her. She is supposed to do a 3 hour clean on the day you need her to, but already that isn't happening. She's expecting you to pay her for 3 hours, regardless of whether she gets less done because of anything she does to care for her child. Unreasonable.

opencecilgee · 01/12/2025 11:12

8m old? Yes sure. As long as the work is done

Shoxfordian · 01/12/2025 11:12

I'd say no because it'd be a distraction.

opencecilgee · 01/12/2025 11:13

Sartre · 01/12/2025 11:10

Definitely not. She’ll be distracted and won’t do a great job, plus the chemicals are dangerous. An 8 month old is a far cry from a newborn.

Chemicals?

🤣

Feelingsunny · 01/12/2025 11:14

Does anyone think this was the plan all along? The cleaner has only been once and suddenly no childcare.
By the way - people commenting as if Op is the employer. She isn't, the cleaner is self employed and Op has no employer responsibilities.

VikaOlson · 01/12/2025 11:15

opencecilgee · 01/12/2025 11:13

Chemicals?

🤣

Show quote history

Yeah, you know those things that are in cleaning products that are bad for you when inhaled?

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 11:19

Are you able to offer her to come on a different day? Just for this week?

Whatsthatsheila · 01/12/2025 11:23

Nope. If something happens to baby whilst in your home I would be concerned that the liability would somehow lay with you.

i wouldn’t hold it against her for not being able to clean this week if she can’t get alternative childcare but she cannot bring the baby

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 11:27

My personal experience op is also generally you risk this happening again as your cleaner comes on Fridays. That is the day some chilminders would tend to take off in comparison to other days of the week.

Megifer · 01/12/2025 11:37

Would be a no from me. SAHM often share how they cant get anything done when looking after a baby so I cant see how she'd be able to do the job she needs to do in the hours she has.

(Not a snipe at SAHM btw, I'd have never had a solid 3 hours free to clean when my DC were that age either)

Moonlightfrog · 01/12/2025 11:41

I think as a one off it is fine but let her know it’s a one off. I don’t see a huge issue as long as she gets the job done to the same standard.

AlohaRose · 01/12/2025 11:42

So she’s been to you once before and has already changed the day that she can attend three times?! Now she wants to bring a baby with her? I’m afraid it would be a no from me, many years of experience with cleaners has taught me that if they start off badly, it only gets worse! Good cleaners are worth their weight in gold and I’ve always treated mine well but I don’t think this situation is going to improve.

Hoppinggreen · 01/12/2025 11:45

PInkyStarfish · 30/11/2025 22:24

No, it’s completely unprofessional. You cannot bring your baby to any job.

I agree
Its ok people saying be kind and help another mum out etc and as a one off I might allow it (I have before with a cleaner who had an older child) but your cleaner is there to do a job and its not one she can do while looking after a baby - its why a lot of people with young children get a cleaner in the first place. Then there is the safety aspect of it.
Don't let anyone guilt you into this if you don't want to allow it OP