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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My cleaner wants to bring her baby to my house…

115 replies

That80show · 30/11/2025 21:37

Evening all,

My cleaner (she has only been once before) has a 8 month old baby and has called today to say that her child minder is no longer available to look after him so could she bring him on Friday when she cleans my house. She said that he won’t be of any bother as he will just sleep…

As a mum of a baby of a similar age I know just how demanding looking after a baby can be and highly doubt he will sleep for the 3 hours that she is at my house.
i know she has a husband but maybe he is working that day so is unable to look after their son.
On the one hand I feel bad because I know how difficult it can be to juggle motherhood and work so I was tempted to say well bring him just this once but that I won’t accept it on a regular basis.
On the other hand I can’t see her being able to focus on cleaning my house properly which I really need as I too have a young family and busy with work.

Am I being totally unreasonable in saying no I’m sorry this isn’t going to work?

OP posts:
gottakeeponmoving · 01/12/2025 00:05

i voted YANBU, you would be perfectly being reasonable to say no to her. But I would give her a chance. If she does what she is paid for and you are happy with the result I don't see why she can't clean for you.

Original poster
That80show · 01/12/2025 07:00

To clarify a few things:

I have already been quite flexible as she keeps changing the day she can come, originally meant to be on Fridays then asked to change to Mondays then to Thursday and now back to Friday. Which is a bit of a pain as both husband and I work from home. Our house is quite small so it means having to leave our house for those 3 hours

She can’t stay longer and I wouldn’t want her to as she has another job to rush after straight away

When asked if bringing her baby would be a one off? She replied hopefully…which doesn’t fill me with confidence

If this was someone who had regularly been cleaning for us for a while I would have no problem in letting her bring baby

If her child was a bit older I wouldn’t have an issue as they could sit there and play on a tablet or draw etc but she told me last time that he is crawling everywhere which doesn’t fill me with confidence that he will stay in his pram like she said he will

As another user mentioned I am worried about saying yes this time then feeling guilt tripped into it becoming a regular thing which I know I don’t want

It has been very interesting to read the different points of view, thanks to those that have commented so far

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 01/12/2025 07:10

I don't think she has any child care. She's obviously doing this with all of her clients but just making sure to leave the baby for the first clean. I wouldn't be interested in that sort of arrangement, especially not with someone so unreliable.

Smartiepants79 · 01/12/2025 07:12

I would 100% allow this time and see. Have you ever seen the series ‘Maid. You never know how much difference a little bit of flexibility and kindness can make.
If it turns out she does a crap job then you can say no the next time.

Ladyymuck · 01/12/2025 07:47

I wouldn’t even ask if I could take my baby to work as it would not be allowed, it would be inappropriate and I wouldn’t be able to concentrate fully on work.

Lafamiliaestodo · 01/12/2025 07:53

Hell no - this is potentially so dangerous.

What if the baby hurts themselves on one of your belongings - what are the legal ramifications here? not to mention cleaning chemicals etc

This isn't about being "unkind" as others suggest, it's about safeguarding both you and the child from future consequences. You need to protect yourself OP.

Also, I can guarantee if you allow it once, this will become a permanent arrangement in her mind.

Theboymolefoxandhorse · 01/12/2025 07:59

It’s a tricky one @That80show especially because you haven’t built up a relationship with her and she has been messing you around a bit. It is really hard with young kids but unfortunately she needs to understand that if she isn’t professional she will lose custom as people get cleaners for convenience not something that will add more to the mental load.

I think YANU to say no, but if it was me, I would probably say yes as a one off to give her the benefit of the doubt.But be in the future you wouldn’t be able to accomodate this as you don’t feel comfortable with it at all. If it doesn’t work out she’d have proved you wrong and you can find another cleaner.

I have an 18 month old who is a good napper and still would have a 3 hours nap given half the chance -and it will be completely obvious if she hasn’t been able to do her normal clean so I think it would be silly of her to lie about the child sleeping if she knows that to not be true - however - we’ve all had days when our child who usually goes down religiously at x time decides they’re not doing it 🤣

EINSEINSNULL · 01/12/2025 08:02

Unfortunately that won't work for us.

CurlewKate · 01/12/2025 08:05

See how it goes. If she can still do the job why would you stand in the way of a woman earning her living? If she can’t, then you can sack her then.

Linenpickle · 01/12/2025 08:07

I bet she’s not got any insurance as if something happened in your home, even if the cleaner did the damage, if the insurer found out the kid was there, it would invalidate her insurance.

Useitupwearitout · 01/12/2025 08:15

I agree with you OP if this was a cleaner you had for a while and she was caught without childcare on one occasion then yes you would agree to baby coming along. Given that she has only been once, and messed you about with the day, would make me think that she hasn’t got anyone to mind the baby on a regular basis and made an extreme effort to get someone to mind the baby for your first clean. Probably she is trying to get back into work and thinks cleaning work is the answer as she can just take the baby with her, some of her clients may agree but you don’t have to.
edited for spelling

MaturingCheeseball · 01/12/2025 08:22

A cleaning firm would not allow this. As a cash-in-hand cleaner, a person really has to prove themselves before asking, say, to bring a baby with them.

I think I would allow a one-off, but say she can’t come if it is going to happen every week. You can easily pull the “health and safety” excuse.

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Luckyingame · 01/12/2025 08:39

It would always be a no from me.

Westfacing · 01/12/2025 08:53

If it were a last-minute one-off I would say OK, but it's only Monday and she should be able to arrange something before Friday.

So it's a no from me - particularly as you barely know her and don't owe her any favours.

Back in the day, my former cleaner used to sometimes bring her four-year old who would sit quietly and play with my sons' toys and the cats.

Nightlight8 · 01/12/2025 08:57

No only because she has only cleaned your house once. However if you had known her a few years I would of said yes and made it clear it was a 1 off.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/12/2025 09:09

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Edited

I don't know of any 8 month old that would just sit in a chair with toys.

Or not make a mess when eating a snack.

Cyclebabble · 01/12/2025 09:14

I would try and see how it goes. I am really conscious how difficult care can be for some of us and that gets harder when your income is lower. So if possible I would accommodate.

Periperi2025 · 01/12/2025 09:15

My DD dropped to 1 nap a day a little older than 8 months and napped for 3-4 hours, so it is possible that she could do it.
I think you would need to be clear that she needs to do a certain amount and quality of cleaning, not be in your house for an alloted amount of time if she is going to try and work this way. If she spends time checking baby or settling baby that is on her time not yours.
Also consider the insurance implications of allowing an employees baby on your premises.
I'd consider giving her a short trial and see if she pulls it off.

pinkdelight · 01/12/2025 09:22

With your update, it's an easy no. She's been once, you've already had a load of issues with flexibility and now there's this other issue. It shouldn't be so hard getting your house cleaned. Say it's not gonna work for you and use an agency. You really don't need the hassle for someone who's been once and caused this much agg already.

VikaOlson · 01/12/2025 09:44

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Edited

I childmind 8 month olds and have never known one to just sit in a chair with some toys??
Especially not sleep & sit for 3 hours...

Didimum · 01/12/2025 10:50

YANBU.

If it were me I would allow it this once just in case she is by and large a conscientious person and it's a genuine childcare disaster. I would ... 1) only pay her full amount if full cleaning is done 2) not accept it if she tries it on again.

dunroamingfornow · 01/12/2025 10:55

In my experience cleaners start off great (mostly ) then gradually the standard tapers off. I wouldn’t agree to this. How can she clean properly with her child there? Is she really going to ignore an 8 month old for 3 whole hours ?! Doubt it !

caringcarer · 01/12/2025 10:57

I'd tell her yes but as a 1 off. I had a baby that slept up to 4 hours at a time and I had to wake him to feed him.

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 10:57

No way.

Also i personally found childminders more unreliable than nursery for childcare so I would say it may become a more regular thing. I know it costs more but if she wants to be self employed she may be better off putting her baby in a nursery.

If she keeps pulling shit op then it’s also ok to let her go. I let my first cleaner go and now my current one is amazing.