To be absolutely mortified? Please share your most embarrassing stories to make me feel better

[CryBecauseItsOver]

Oh Lordy lord I need some comfort embarrassment to make me feel better about an actual situation that happened to me this afternoon.
NC for obvious reasons.
I had birth repair surgery on my vag last year. Long story short all is fine I just had a very small area that became a bit red and sore this week. One of my closest and trusted friends is a gynaecologist so I went to her for advice. She told me to take a photo and send it to her. I trust this woman with my life. This isn't the issue.

so there's me, half naked, hair a rats nest, legs akimbo in front of my floor length mirror. I actually took a short video. I sent the photo and video to her and left it as that.

this afternoon my daughter was scrolling my tiktok to choose a hair style she'd like for school tomorrow. I supervise her on this completely as she's only 5. I turn away for a literal split second and I see my video, whole fucking fanny including my fire button on show, with 95% loaded on it. I grabbed the phone and shouted NOOOO and safe to say my heart fell out my arse.
now the thing is with TikTok you cannot delete videos until they've been uploaded. You can't cancel a partial upload. So I had to sit there, on the verge of an SVT episode, waiting for this fucking video to load.
it loaded. I deleted it within a millisecond. It said it had zero views.

thank the lord above no one could see it. Lessen learned but I still cannot get rid of this utter horror despite me deleting it in time with no views. My nervous system can't quite grasp that it's in fact, okay..

I've had no messages about it. Thank god my vag is at least lasered but Jesus bloomin Christ it was a close call. I would have probably moved to some remote Spanish island never to be seen again.

the video was uploaded for genuinely less than a second. No longer than that.

PLEASE tell me your embarrassing stories to make me feel better! I am utterly mortified! I'm laughing about it now but jeeez it was a very awful angle and my vag looked like what I can only describe as a butterflied chicken. At least it was lasered I guess.

😩

😂 😂 😂

Not me but a close friend. Got a new job, desperate to impress.

This was the late 90s and she was wearing an ankle length black cardigan over smart trouser and top combo. Paired with killer heels. She was hot to trot.

She had been helping the big boss with something. He was then back at his desk on the phone while she continued to bring some files in to put on his desk.

As she was approaching his desk, she got her high heel caught in the hem of her ankle length cardigan which tugged down and pretty much strangled her.

She made a strangled noise but, not knowing what else to do, tried to keep going. With every step she took towards his desk she was getting more and more strangled and he was looking at her like “wtf”.

She put the files on his desk and limped out as fast as she could, neck pulled back, face to the ceiling so she could breathe.

I got very drunk at a work night out about a month into my role. I took my jumper off because I was hot thinking I had a vest on underneath. I didn’t. Just a bra.

Didn’t notice until they helped me get dressed. It was 20 years ago and the cringe still turns me inside out.

I use tiktok and it is possible. You click on the wrong thing (the '+', or without meaning to click anything at all!) and it can bring up all of your stored videos. A curious 5 year old thinking 'Oo what that!?'Could see the videos come up and click on one and it begin uploading within a second.

As a PhD student in London a kindly academic around 25 years my senior invited me to stay at her house one night as I had a long commute and I was doing a stint of long days in the lab. She showed me the spare room and told me not to be alarmed if I heard her DH come in later, he was a senior professor.and often stayed at work very late.

About midnight I crossed the hall to use the bathroom, knocking gently on the door first to make sure none of the family were using it. No answer so I was confident it was free. Much to my surprise I found my host's DH lying flat on his back in the bath, fast asleep and totally naked (as you would be, in the bath). I hastened out but really needed the toilet and had to listen out for a further half hour until the DH eventually woke up and left the bathroom!

I've told this story before in a similar thread, and probably under a different user name.
Way, way back when I was in my early 20s, I had a big crush on my boss who was early 30s. One day he came over to my desk to show me something on a chart I'd created. He stood behind me, and leaned over my shoulder pointing to various parts of the chart. I was so conscious of his closeness to me that I held my breath, and forgot to swallow. So when he'd finished he said 'so, understood?' and I opened my mouth to answer, and all the saliva I'd not swallowed pooled out of my gob and dribbled down my chin and on to the chart.

No where near as bad as many but I lived in a house with a male flatmate and had my boyfriend over. Flatmate was upstairs and boyfriend was in the kitchen and I took a shower. As I walked back to my room in a towel, I suddenly fainted and fell onto the wooden floor making quite a sound which got them both running. I awoke on my bed with my towel draped over me. When I asked my boyfriend if the flatmate had seen me naked, they both looked sheepish and said, oh no, you fell with it still wrapped round you, and then changed the subject.

omg 😂

what did you / he say??

I also had a sore bit in the same place, took a photo then proceeded it show it to a group of my colleagues after a work night out when scrolling through the photos we took as it was the next in line and I completely forgot I had taken it.

We just both politely pretended it hadn't happened!

Bet your fun at parties...

You know what - whilst I didn’t think your post was particularly funny that was really snippy of me to post like I did so I apologise. When not in the best of moods one should stay off mumsnet!

I can only apologise for lowering the tone!

Got dressed for work in the same trousers as previous day. Colleague called me as I was walking down the corridor as I turned, yesterday's pants popped out of the leg of my trousers, got tangled in my heels and I stumbled and fell to my knees. I'm not sure how many people saw the underwear but loads saw the fall of shame!

Another one, I was at a very swish hotel for some training. Nipped to the loo and walked across the room in full view of everyone with a huge trail of loo roll attached to my shoe. I can still hear the sniggers to this day.

Why so aggressive about your VULVA when your OP clearly stated "Thank god my vag is at least lasered"

I had something similar happen a few years ago with a pair of knickers. Thankfully I managed to discreetly remove them from my trousers leg without anyone noticing. I always check the insides of jeans or leggings now after they come out of the washing machine.

That sounds painful. Sorry not the point i know....

I once had a nasty stomach bug. I laid down on the landing in front of the bathroom. Sadly not close enough. I realised id pooed while laid down but not known. I staggered into the bathroom to be sick when i came out the landing was damp and smelt of disinfectant. My husband never uttered a word other than to hug me and suggest a blanket in the bathroom and to sip water. That man is a keeper. Thats what love is.

Ooooo I love Ingrown hairs and weirdly miss picking at them!

yes it doesn't hurt anywhere as near as I thought it would. A few prangs of intense heat but rather easy really!

it's been life changing for me, as a previous every-day-er-shaver!

I actually found my legs hurt more than me minge

This is the type of love I aspire to have.

what a hero. (You are the hero, this is brilliant 😂)

Surprisingly it was okay - legs hurt more!

Because posters have been picking apart my tongue in cheek terminology.. as you'd see below.

so I was making it ABUNDANTLY clear that I know what the propah wordz our x

NOOOOOOO😬

I would have moved abroad!!😂😂