To be annoyed that DH didn’t get the elves out of the loft?

[BluePony]

My DD’s room is the loft but there are very large eves that we store stuff in. However they have spiders in and I’m severely arachnophobic. DD was out all day and dh kept saying he’d do it. He hasn’t, now Dd is in bed and he’s going to tell dc that they’ll arrive tomorrow evening. I kept reminding him and he kept saying in a minute. AIBU to think that’s rubbish? Both dc said this evening how excited they are to wake up to the elves. He knows and just didn't do it.

Leave a note saying they're playing hide and seek in the attic and send the kids in to retrieve them.

I hope your child isn't arachnophobic too, with her living in the foyer of the spider hotel

Elves? Spiders? Get a grip. Get them down or just get over the fact that kids don't need adults playing games with elves all December- ridiculous

I am terribly afraid of spiders but if I really desperately needed something that much I'd go in there with the hoover

Oh FFS, what is ridiculous about young kids enjoying themselves with a bit of ‘magic’ at Christmas?

Probably the bit where grown adults are bitching and squabbling in november about a plastic toy designed to guilt kids into behaving for more presents?

Elf fire, buck up and get up that loft

Forget the spiders - have these elves been darked on?

What a silly comment

Not feeling great? I would make my DH do it anyway! He’s an arse, sorry.

Is he always this low effort?

Jeez I’m getting so fed up of these posters who find reasons to blame the OP each time. I’m just surprised there wasn’t more pearl clutching about it being elves tbh!

I too have a DH who is an “in a minute” husband and it’s an absolute pain!

OP, he’s been useless and he knows it. If you have Canva or something write/or get him to write a fancy elf letter to explain, or get some glitter pens out.

I never did the elf thing because luckily it wasn’t a thing when my children were small but if it was and it’s something we did to make Xmas special I would certainly expect dh to get the bloody thing out of the loft and would be mightily pissed off if he didn’t bother. However before my child went to bed I would have made sure he went up there to get it.

I’d be annoyed too that he didn’t get them out, especially when the consequences will be disappointed kids.

So glad we never did this!

Tell DD the elves were on EasyJet and their plane was cancelled.

My DC are older now and we didn’t do elves but can totally understand why if you do this is important.

Your DH is lazy & mean spirited. There’s so much misery in the world that anything that brings a bit of magic and joy is imo to be celebrated.

the fact that your DH cannot be arsed for his own kids would honestly have be questioning my marriage. What is the point of such a miserable presence?!

It’s only the 1st December. 🤷‍♀️

Not all parents use them to guilt kids, I absolutely don’t. It’s just a bit of fun. And if you are in a squabbly marriage with a lazy DH then bitching and squabbling will happen any time of year, not just in November because of elves.

He’s a selfish prick. But, you need to toughen up! Men will always let you down, the only person you can rely on is yourself. I used to be scared of everything including the dark up until my 30’s. Then I hardened and I forced myself to do everything that I didn’t want to. It’s empowering and you never feel let down because you do it yourself! I have cleared out a spider infested cellar, changed light switches using YouTube etc etc etc. the only down side is that you realise the man is actually surplus to your requirements.

I have no time and patience for the whole Elf on a Shelf rubbish.

But I am with you OP, your husband is behaving like an arse.
Not doing the job until after dd is in bed is crap. Telling you that you are making him feel bad is also crap. Tell him he feels bad because that is his conscience pricking him because he did a crap thing.
If you feel bad about something in life, because you have done something wrong, then use that feeling to work out what you should do to put it right.

How very convenient that he now doesn't feel well. And amazing how mums are expected to continue to do everything even when we don't feel 100%.

I hope you set up something from the elves though, I like the idea of flour footprints, and I would have left little bits of flour round the house, then when the elves finally appeared, hidden them near one of the flour spots

Which is the day that the elves arrive. Do you know what "elf on the shelf" actually is?

I have never done the elf thing and think it's daft but I still know that they come on the 1st December and that many kids look forward to this event as the start of Christmas festivities.

Is it so hard for posters who don't like the elves to imagine a different scenario in which DH said he'd do something and then didn't follow through and now the kids are going to be upset/disappointed?? As others have said, OP could've come up with a different solution if he'd said no but to say 'yeah in a minute' all day and then not do it is really lazy. It literally is his fault, I'm not sure why people are tying themselves in knots to blame OP for this?

He should feel guilty because it probably would've taken him minutes and now it's a whole thing just because he couldn't be bothered to get up off his arse. Hope he at least gets them today OP and you can salvage the situation. If he puts it off again today though I'd be fuming.

I hate spiders too OP, I hate going in my own loft in case I come across some. Yes, there probably are some in the house but out of sight out of mind!