To be annoyed that DH didn’t get the elves out of the loft?

[BluePony]

My DD’s room is the loft but there are very large eves that we store stuff in. However they have spiders in and I’m severely arachnophobic. DD was out all day and dh kept saying he’d do it. He hasn’t, now Dd is in bed and he’s going to tell dc that they’ll arrive tomorrow evening. I kept reminding him and he kept saying in a minute. AIBU to think that’s rubbish? Both dc said this evening how excited they are to wake up to the elves. He knows and just didn't do it.

He said would do it. I wouldn't be impressed either. He could have said no.

Your husband is a twat as are some of the posters on here.

Can you write a letter saying something along the lines of 'We're hiding, come find us,' then you can accidentally stumble across them on the 2nd, 'oh look who I found in the washing!'

Lofts aren't warm in winter.

@PollyBellits not actually. As I mentioned in a pp, you can only crawl into the eaves and there are lots of spiders in there; last time I opened the door one crawled (walked?)out and I nearly had a heart attack. Then I had a real panic attack. I physically couldn’t do it. It’s a very strong phobia. DH is even more terrified of rodents. I’d never dream of suggesting he’d go into a confined area with them, he couldn’t do it. But there aren’t rodents in the eaves, just spiders.

Agreed, I find these kind of excuses infuriating, probably OPs husband is bored of always having to be responsible for things a grown adult should just do themselves, he undoubtedly also views the whole elf nonsense as unnecessary too, which probably explains another reason why he couldn’t be bothered to sort this non issue out.

Your so rude you don’t know how young their child is your so heartless when they are trying to make it magical for their child

Fucking hell, they’re young kids having fun at Christmas. I suspect the OP does a great deal more ‘adult things’ than the husband.

OP, ask him what’s he’s going to say when the kids ask wht the elves aren’t there, because you’ll be telling them the elf spoke to him and him alone. Also ask why he isn’t bothered about disappointing his young children.

Heat rises.
As OP said, the kid's room is in the loft, so presumably heated as well.

You both need to get therapy for your phobias because how can you go through life screaming if you see a spider or if your husband sees a squirrel, both of which are everywhere.

Op has a phobia and there is no reason the father could not complete a simple task. If she tries to do it now, she won’t be able to do it quietly. No one with a phobia can be stealthy.

OP, if he is going to be this ridiculous, I would just find an open store and buy replacement elves. The children should not need to be disappointed and you should not need to go through some song and dance of distraction tomorrow because he made a commitment and didn’t follow through.

Oh that's disappointing, OP.
Maybe DH is a bit 'ick' about spiders or having to crawl into a small space, but doesn't want to admit it and couldn't face it today?
Either way, it's very frustrating for you!

I think I'd set something up like a previous poster has suggested, footprints in flour, and open a window a crack and put a note saying: "We needed to get something special! We'll be back soon!" (soon rather than 'tonight' in case DH doesn't get them pronto!) and then have the elves leave something special for the kids like a chocolate biscuit with a whipped cream smiley face with breakfast or something.
Something easy for you, but fun for them!
Good luck OP!

Sorry I'm with the DH solely because I can't stand those weird bloody elves and never did them. That particular grift has only been a thing since 2010 or something & suddenly they're everywhere like some particularly virulent STD - it's not exactly a venerable Christmas tradition is it? Maybe your DH also despises the strangely evil-looking little sods and is only pretending to have 'forgotten' them?

So him feeling unwell is unacceptable and a problem, op not wanting to do it is fiiiine and not’fucking unattractive”?

Yes! I was going to suggest you leave a note from the elves saying they're invisible today but have left some signs that they're about, and they'll reveal themselves another day. Kids still get to see cheeky elf escapades and it hopefully avoids their disappointment tomorrow.
You've had some bah-humbug responses here, but I understand how you feel. Regardless of whether or not you think elves are an unnecessary festive addition, your husband has disregarded your kids' feelings which is unfair.

I would be raging at him. I wouldn’t give a shit that he didn’t feel “great” he would be going into that loft and getting them.

He’s “not feeling great”? He’s fetching something from what is essentially a cupboard, albeit one you have to crawl in to. Is he in bed with a fever or stuck on the toilet? Because if not then he’s perfectly capable of getting them.

I’ll give you a pass, phobias are really shit.

Good ideas here about things you could set up for the morning. Then I’d probably just go get a new one, the chance of him pulling his finger out seems minimal. Have them in place when the kids are back from school.

Send a postcard from the elves, saying they’re taking a day extra in the Maldives or wherever. When they get back, have them draw in marker on your husband while he sleeps or something.

I would put a letter through the postbox stating 'we had an emergency at the North Pole, had to head back, running late, see you shortly'

Or tell her the spiders got them..

Do you have a printer? Make a postcard from the elves apologising; they've missed their flight from the North Pole and are going to be late this year. They've asked Teddy/ Barbie to keep an eye out and report back. Set up Teddy or Barbie with a camera or pad and pen.

• Crossed post with other posters suggesting the same.

Yes I’d be annoyed, but I think it’s recoverable. Just write a note for the kids from the elf in the morning. Maybe saying he’s playing hide and seek and they have to find him after school etc. Or, have him open and the doors to DH’s advent calendar and leave a chocolaty note saying he has a tummy ache so he’s gone for a doctors appointment and he will be home soon.

It would depend on what else he had to do that day (working, shopping etc) and whether he genuinely didn’t have time or just couldn’t be bothered.

But yes I’d be annoyed.
They’re his kids too and it doesn’t take much to get it out of the loft.

Brilliant!

I'd be buying new elves during the day.

He sounds like a selfish lazy twat.

id bet my house this is the tip of the iceberg.