To be annoyed that DH didn’t get the elves out of the loft?

[BluePony]

My DD’s room is the loft but there are very large eves that we store stuff in. However they have spiders in and I’m severely arachnophobic. DD was out all day and dh kept saying he’d do it. He hasn’t, now Dd is in bed and he’s going to tell dc that they’ll arrive tomorrow evening. I kept reminding him and he kept saying in a minute. AIBU to think that’s rubbish? Both dc said this evening how excited they are to wake up to the elves. He knows and just didn't do it.

As well he should feel bad.
What a lazy, mean arsehole!

Can you not just ask him again?

Ohh I’ve got to find dd’s elf

edit, yanbu at all x

Spiders get everywhere though. They don’t know the attic is their area. If he’s still feeling ill tomorrow do the kids have to wait a few days until he’s better?

Could you leave some indications that the elves have been there, without the actual elves? Something like some little footprints?

Edited to add: when you do have them to leave out, you could have them almost hidden but not quite, as if they were better at hiding the previous night(s)

How old are the elves? Surely they are old enough to get themselves to where they need to be? You have an elf problem not a Dh problem.

You could leave a note from the elf saying:

”I tried to come to you house last night, but I couldn’t stay, your Daddy’s stinky farts scared me away! I did stay long enough to polish his bald patch though, so that’s nice and shiney 😁 Tell Daddy to do less stinky farts and I might stay next time!”

Then the kids know who to blame for the elf not being around. If he is going to let the kids down, let him take the blame for it.

This seems a bit bonkers to me.

I mean you are afraid of spiders and you have imaginary elves, and you are picking a fight with your actual real life husband?

Could you maybe expend some of this energy showing your kids how you and your husband can be happy together? Then forget the imaginary spider problems and imaginary elves?

It might make things a whole lot easier.

If you want to really push the boat out, you could read the nativity story to them and that is also Christmas.

Maybe in the summer you could get everything out of the eves and throw it all in as skip and then you will never have to have this argument again.

Sorry that was a bit blunt. I don't mean to be blunt, but it just sounds such hard work.

He’s a twat….is he always twattish?

Is your DD not scared of the giant spiders up there? I used to have dreams of spiders falling on me in my bed as a child and that bedroom sounds like me worst nightmare!

YANBU.

yet another, ignore the question and blame the OP.

she asked him to do it. She explained why she can’t. He said he WOULD do it, and has not bothered.

So whatever the reasons, or thoughts, or elf love or hate or spider elf training course are available, YANBU.

Basic human manners. can you do this for me? Yes. Or no.

No would have then allowed OP to source another solution.

yet he said yes.

The whole elf thing is a load of commercial nonsense.
As you are now bought into said nonsense, the only answer is to make the first prank turning up late. And send your husband back into the eaves to retrieve the little fuckers tomorrow.

YANBU, he was asked to do the job and had all day to sort it and simply couldn't be bothered. I don't do elves but if I did and my husband let the children down after I had asked several times to get them I would be seriously disappointed.
Your issue is what if he can't be bothered or is now unwell tomorrow? Is he even at home when the kids aren't to do this (does he work from home?).

The op is quite capable of doing it but it is mn so the man is always to blame, if the man had a phobia he would be told to get on with it

I agree with @pteromum. The point is your husband said he’d do it and didn’t. I think @WelshRabBite’s suggestion is a good one though. Is there anyone else you can ask to help?

Because is mumsnet and the men’s have to be demonised and in the wrong somehow!?

@PollyBellmassive projection. He does not have a phobia, he made a promise and can’t be bothered.
substitute elf with paddling pool as tomorrow is only sunny day
or tent as camping with friends

Agreed.

You need to get a grip, OP.

That’s actually genius!

I would be disappointed. And my husband would know.

OP, I feel sorry for you being married to a DH who is a pathetic lazy twat. Does he do anything to help with Christmas or in general?

My DH goes to great lengths to make Christmas magical and he’s responsible for filling the advent calendar pockets with lovely treats as well as all the decorating, gift buying and wrapping and half of the card writing.

I really get fed up with men being constantly blamed for everything.

Well them you need to have treatment/ therapy to get your phobia sorted out. It's perfectly possible.

It's absolutely ridiculous that there are parts of your house you refuse to go in on the off chance that you might see a spider.

What would you do if you husband left you or died? You'd have to get things in and out of the loft then wouldn't you?

I really hope you don't let your children see you quaking at the thought of a spider.

He isn't blamed for everything. He is blamed for not doing the job he said he would.

A job the op is capable of doing

Because it's cosy, dark and warm - heat rises.
They love these conditions. 🕷️