Weeing in the theatre

[Didimum]

Went with my DCs to the theatre in London. There was a little boy seated in front of us with his mum. I think he was around 3-4yrs old. During the show, his mum had him wee in a bottle twice when he needed the bathroom. Trousers down and everything. They were otherwise fine during the show – not noisy or anything.

I get that it’s annoying having to take your kids to the loo during a show, but I would never have done this. Poor woman in front of them turned round and got a … well, a full on view.

YABU – I would do this
YANBU – I wouldn’t have

Whaaat? The only private space is the toilet! Surely you’re not thinking of the galley? Where the staff are taking their break, or preparing food?

God, people are grim.

But surely in that case you’d use a nappy or similar? If a 40 year old man had a bladder issue would it be ok for him to sit using a bottle in a theatre?

I’d do exactly the same. In fact, I’d demand the pilot and the co-pilot leave the cockpit to assess the situation, and then take the controls myself and emergency land the plane at the nearest available airport / airfield. I’d then demand a private chartered jet, at the airline’s expense, take me to my destination.

On returning to the UK I’d pursue a private prosecution against the kid, their parents, the airline, and the airline staff. I’d also seek compensation to fund extensive counselling.

LOL. I always wanted to take control of the plane in an emergency, just like in the films.

It's really not all that unusual for airline captains to deal with unruly and misbehaving passengers. And if publicly urinating and defecating next to others don't classify as misbehaviour, what does?

Well that would have involved me getting up from watching the show and leaving my kids, so I didn’t want to do that.

How did we get onto airplanes ??

Exactly, it's not worth it.

To be honest it would bother me more to see someone sitting there picking their nose, and I wouldn't bother getting an usher for that either.

BIG difference between an adult male and a 4 year old kid.

I'm not saying the mum is doing the 'right' thing here, I'm saying don't assume it's laziness, she may have her reasons. There's so much judgement of women/ mothers already, we sometimes make bad choices, or our lack of planning slightly inconveniences someone. Why are we all so eagre to pile-on and have a go? I'd far rather assume she had her reasons and get on with my day and my own business.

I'm sorry but I can't think of a decent reason why any parent would tell their kid 'just go in this bottle!' in the middle of a theatre auditorium. Presumably you would know your child well enough to know if they need to go it is literally a matter of getting them there ASAP and you prepare for that - picking aisle seats, packing spare clothes etc.

Out and about in the park? Not ideal but can see why someone would tell a small child to just go in the bushes. In the middle of a theatre, cinema etc. surely not, come on now.

Sorry but there are no acceptable reasons.

If someone can't refrain from public urination, they need to not attend theatre performances. That's bare minimum decorum at any age.

But the problem is at what point does it cross the line? Everyone these days seems to excuse everyone with “don’t judge you don’t know their circumstances”. But if you use that for one situation why not the other? You don’t know that 40 year old man’s situation. He may have just had serious bladder surgery and can’t hold it at all. What about the woman squatting over a potty in the cinema? Maybe she had physical trauma during childbirth and now can’t hold it. The problem is it often DOES encourage laziness and others copy as they think it’s now socially acceptable. The 4 year old boy in the theatre is fine right? What about the 6 year old at the cinema? The 8 year old girl on the potty at the pantomime? The 10 year old in the middle of a restaurant? You see it on here when you get discussions over what toilets male children should use. You have women saying it’s fine for their 14 year olds to be in the women’s toilets as it’s safer for them and isn’t safe in the men’s. So at what age is that appropriate or not? No one can agree on that. So who decides at what age peeing in a public venue is acceptable and when it isn’t? Plenty of children can have bladder and urgency issues. But so can adults. So one person seeing everyone happily accepts a 4 year old peeing in a bottle, thinks well it’ll be fine for my almost 6 year old to do the same, so they start. Then the family with the 7/8 year old think well my son is also only little really so he can do it as well. And so it goes on.

I just can't see it that way, you're free to get upset and let it ruin your day though, that's your prerogetive.

"“don’t judge you don’t know their circumstances”

Agree with pp that this is getting tiresome. I don't need to know someone's circumstances to know that four-year-old standing with his penis out, peeing into a bottle in public, in a theatre no less, is grossly inappropriate and antisocial. I don't care what the circumstances are.

Some of us still have standards.

If a child can't hang on for the 60 minutes of a half of a show, then they should not be taken to the theatre. Or the parents should book an aisle seat.

Appalling behaviour from that parent.

I don’t think @Muffsies is saying she thinks it’s OK and would do it herself, just that there’s no point getting seriously uppity about it, complaining, reporting to ushers etc. Some people just want to get on with their day.

If everyone tolerates it, it will become more widespread, just like the abominable practice of people bringing takeaway into live performances.

Some things are worth holding the line. What's next, spreading a newspaper ont he floor so the kid can defecate?

No one is saying that ‘everyone’ should tolerate it. Some people will, some people won’t.

As I said, I wouldn’t do it and I thought it was off, but at the end of the day I was out to a show with my kids and I wasn’t about to get up to fetch an usher and complain. I just wanted to carry on watching the show. When it came to the interval and afterwards I was just getting on with other things.

Spot on, thanks. There are things I'd stick my neck out over, like any form of rudeness or abuse where I felt someone needed backup (bullying is my absolute trigger). Or if I thought someone was deliberately trying to make a distrubance I'd alert an usher.

Okay but if the child misses the bottle? Or when Mum is going to put the lid back on she fumbles it and it splashes over the shoes of the person sitting next to her? And not to mention the fact it's not exactly great for a child's dignity to go in a packed room full of people.

I agree completely with @CheeseIsMyIdol - I wouldn't have said anything to Mum direct but would've mentioned to a theatre usher in interval. I go to the theatre a lot and if I was sat by a child who urinated in a bottle mid performance right next to me I would be sent into orbit like that's crazy behaviour?

That’s completely fine if that’s your way of handling it. It isn’t everyone’s.

It's up to all of us to try to maintain some standards of decency and dignity.

The point is that no one should have to 'handle it', Mum shouldn't be encouraging her little boy to pee in a bottle in a theatre!

Why didn't you complain to the threatre? I would!

I was busy with my own kids and just wanted to watch the show.