To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

Put the key into a flower pot or under a doormat just before your call?

Key safe or back door open?

I would tell him to take a key or he'll have to wait outside for 15 minutes until you're free to answer the door to him. He's got to learn to look after a key sometime so might as well be now!

Finding the responses to this WILD. to clarify you are asking whether it's ok to leave your front door unlocked for 15 mins... in the middle of the day.... when you are at home??? Unless you live in the middle of the ghetto in Johannesburg I am utterly baffled at to why this is an issue!

Same 🤣🤣

That's horrible, I'm sorry. I love decorating the outside of our house for Christmas and Halloween- our village is known for it's over-the-top decorations and people come to see them, but no-one ever steals them.

Ha, they'd leave my house with a few shoes and whatever the latest "project" my daughter brought home from school is.

I would look into getting a locksmith to change the lock so the door doesn’t lock when you shut it. I’m not sure teaching your son it’s OK to leave a front door ajar is a good plan. A locksmith should manage this relatively easily and as a planned task (rather than an emergancy locked out situation) shouldn’t be too expensive.

This. I cannot fathom this at all. I dont know anyone who locks the door in the day, while they are home

It’s not unlocked she’s asking… if your read the thread it’s ajar as in leaving it open a few cms. Surely on a cold windy day that’s a no brainer ‘no’ @FlayOtters @Twinkletoes127

When I was a teen, I used to be at home after school for about 30 mins until my dad came home from work, never locked the front door. Someone burgled the house whilst I was upstairs..May I add, we lived in a nice area, there are opportunists everywhere. They stole some money and an expensive set of golf clubs, literally in and out just grabbing what was there.

I always lock my door as you just never know. Your son is old enough to have a key.

Why doesn't he have a key? He walks himself home he is old enough for a key.

Utterly baffled? You are so naive to think things can't happen unless you live in the "ghetto". See my post above.

It may come as a deep shock to you but some of us live in less than ideal areas, I certainly do, at the risk of repeating myself I had the awful expereience of a man trying to smash his way into my house in the morning while I was in the bath, phoned 999 and the police came very quickly, he then attacked the police! We also have a lot of supported housing in the area for people who use substances, there is one on my street and while it is ok now it was a hot bed of dealing, with fighting in the street, threats to kill, I would have people banging on my window looking to score! Yes this is England not downtown Joberg. I keep my doors and windows locked and never answer the door after dark. Why don't I move? can't afford to, some of us just have to make the best of the hand that life has dealt them.

It is hilarious having your house broken into while you are in the bath in the morning, how I laughed seeing a man trying to smash his way into my back room, how I chortled as I called 999, and then me and the police were doubled up with laughter as he attacked one of the officers. Proper hilarious and not in any way traumatising😅😂

I'm sure it would be fine but I wouldn't do it. Unlocked - yes, open - no. Could DS have the key on a string tied inside his bag, or in a wallet in an inside pocket, or some other way it would be really difficult to lose it? A key safe would be good too.

Exactly. He can take a key or he can wait.

Burglars are probably more likely to steal in 'nice' areas where there are better pickings, so your ghetto comment is a bit daft.

Someone once stopped their car and stole the shopping out of my open boot while I was unlocking the front door.

I wouldn’t leave my door unlocked during the day whether you think that’s wild or baffling or not.

Gosh, quite a range of opinions, but will definitely work towards him having a key attached in his bag.

Also it seems by your post that your DH is anxious and passing that anxiety on to ds. @Noshadelamp

Yes, during our family discussion about it, DH made it clear that if a key is lost, the lock must be replaced that same day in case whoever found it followed DS home, which I think added to DS's worries.

Other thoughts... As for installing a keysafe myself, I think DH's problem is that he's not sure he is okay with having one, not just that he isn't getting around to it. So, if I install it, and then he decides he doesn't agree with using it, it's no help.

We're not in either a terribly crime-ridden area or a terribly nice one. I wouldn't worry about robbers nicking my laundry from the line, but it's been heard of for video doorbells to catch people to trying car and house doors in the night.

We're medium-back from a medium-busy road in a London suburb. At the time of day in question, though, it's a very busy road, because we're across from a primary school.

I work from a room downstairs where I can see the front path, but it's through a window to my side, so I don't have a perfect, constant view. Our gate is very squeaky, though, so I can hear it from where I work.

I'm generally okay to excuse myself to answer the door in an average hour-long weekly meeting. But it's awkward for this one, as it's our daily status meeting. It's only 10-15 minutes long and is every day. It gives the impression that I can't be trusted to work for even 10 minutes when every day during it, I need to step away.

Where and when I grew up, our house didn't even have a lock on its door.

Unlocked with you in the house?

Based on your update your DHs anxiety is 100% impacting ypur son

Please start advocating for him (DS not DH)

Yes, during our family discussion about it, DH made it clear that if a key is lost, the lock must be replaced that same day in case whoever found it followed DS home, which I think added to DS's worries. @ILoveMyGonk

That makes sense now as to why your ds is so anxious about it.

You do know that the chances of this actually happening are so small it's ridiculous for it to be the cause of so much stress and damage.

I'm guessing this is just the tip of the iceberg and you've been living with this delusional type of anxiety of your DH's for years, so it's hard for you to stay rational, but your DH needs help as it is already clearly affecting your ds.

It's nice that your son feels concerned about the possibility of losing a key... that shows that he has some responsibility.
You could change your front door lock to have one of those combination openers, they have a keypad and you just have to know the four five or six digit combination to open the door? You can't lose a key that way.
Or he could get a chain around his neck and put the key there, hard to lose it when it's around your neck.
If you're not comfortable with leaving the door open for 15 minutes, don't do it. There's other ways to get around this. Besides at some point he's going to have to learn the responsibility of carrying keys, he's already started secondary school. Can't be a little kid forever...

Where on earth do you live!! I never ever lock my front door whether we're in or out, it never crosses any of our minds to lock it. In fact we've got one front door key between 5 of us and it lives in the back of the door 24/7 365 days a year.

I can't imagine living somewhere that I'd be frightened to leave my door unlocked.